boundaries
Stay In The Light
During these challenging times, it is essential to stay in the light. It protects your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical health. How do you ‘stay in the light?’ You achieve it by maintaining a raised energy vibration in a time of extreme darkness. It means you don’t get sucked into other people’s drama, darkness, fear and toxicity. You don’t allow yourself to get weighed down by the negativity in the world around you.
Staying in the light doesn’t mean you don’t have an opinion or strong personal views, or that you are not aware, supportive and caring, or that you don’t get involved in the world around you when it truly matters. It simply means you always take care of yourself, while you are doing whatever it is that you need to do every day. Staying in the light is about making self-care a priority.
Staying in the light is about psychic shielding and setting boundaries where and when necessary. For example, avoiding toxic people and environments is one of the best things you can do to stay in the light. You have no obligation to tolerate and accommodate toxic people and energy thieves!
If you work with toxic people, don’t listen to the office gossip and don’t get sucked into their negative world. Also, don’t show them that they may be upsetting, or hurting you. Take a deep breath, call on your inner strength, and simply smile. Own your personal power – you are much stronger than you may realize.
Stay away from social media, if you are easily overwhelmed by negativity. For the first time in human history, we now have the technology to instantly access the opinions, fears, false beliefs and negative experiences of every human being who has access to a keyboard or smart phone. We are confronted daily with the pain, hysterics and drama of thousands of people, all at once!
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
Resentment And The Empath
Do you have a tendency to re-experience past injustices — real or perceived – while holding on to those old feelings of anger connected to them? If so, it means you are harboring some form of resentment. Empaths are especially prone to resentment, simply because we tap into emotions, past, present, and future, much more than most people.
Resentment forms when we become angry towards a person or situation, and then hold onto that anger. Some people harbor their resentments for many years, refusing to let go of it. Over time, whatever caused the original anger and initially led to the resentment, may be forgotten, but the resentment remains. It is like a still-smoldering ember left after the flames of a fire have subsided. The fire no longer rages, but the ember remains smoldering, and all it takes is a spark to set that fire raging again.
For the empath this rekindled ‘fire’ may be triggered every time they enter a new relationship. No harm has been done, yet, but the empath may be so on guard, and overly vigilant to any slight that resembles their past hurt, that it easily sets off another destructive blaze. They expect the worst and try to protect themselves against it, but in the process the thing they fear the most may re-emerge from the past, unhealed resentment.
For many empaths, lack of boundaries also lead to dashed expectations, typically followed by resentment. As an empath, you feel the heart of the person, and know that there is love. Once connected into the, “I know they love me,” their bad behavior can be overlooked. Continue reading
Choose Your Tribe Wisely
We need to face the fact that some people are unfriendly, heartless, and simply rude! I discovered recently why someone I know personally acts so unfeeling and uncaring towards others. She always seems so wrapped up in her own world and shows no regard for anyone else. This has brought about much dis-ease in her own family and she has also gone through numerous failed romantic relationships.
During a recent family gathering, I was observing her aura and noticed that she suffers tremendous guilt and envy of others. Meanwhile, she is always looking for acceptance and comfort from her many boyfriends, who only stick around until they find out how manipulative and vindictive she really is.
Spirit showed me that she truly hates herself and projects it onto others. She is just not happy and slowly drains the energy of those around her. They usually do not realize this until it is too late. I do wonder how those who orbit around this person can manage to stick around at all, as it seems dis-ease and drama just follows her everywhere she goes in life.
Before her sister’s funeral, she was even snapping and yelling at her youngest daughter for something as trivial as a puzzle piece accidentally dropped on the floor. I asked one of her other children how she grew up to be so loving and sweet, having been raised around that kind of negativity? She said the credit belonged to her grandparents, as well as a few other family members.
I refuse to be unkind to anyone. It is in my nature to be civil and courteous to everyone I meet. It is my motto to leave others feeling better than they were before I interacted with them. But many people, will not even smile, no matter what you say or do. Spirit says this is due to their ‘spark’ being blown out by their own bad life choices and negative thoughts. It’s a matter of free will.
Soul Group Zen Connections
I love when you meet a new friend and they are on the same wavelength. It usually feels like you have known them forever and you can just talk for hours, completely losing track of time. Time does fly when we connect with those who are in the same soul group.
I recently had the rare experience of talking with someone who, like me, is also intuitive, emphatic, sensitive, and loves the Tarot and crystals. It was a blessing and rare opportunity to talk to someone with whom I have so much in common on a spiritual level.
We soon discovered that we have both learned to set up healthy boundaries in our lives, including with our in-laws. We also lived in the same city for the first five years of our lives. There are also many other personal things we have in common.
I call this state of resonance with someone or something ‘to be in zen.’ When we are in zen with someone, we are connecting with a kindred spirit. It happens smoothly and easily, as our energy is in alignment with our own truth and theirs. No hang-ups, no snares, no issues, no resistance.
I also believe we are divinely guided towards those who share our soul group. Like attracts like, and this creates a positive domino effect with everything just smoothly energized and aligned. Our health, happiness, well-being benefit from it on all levels.
My Spirit Guide once put it to me like this and it makes perfect sense: “When you go through life not recharged or reenergized, you tend to not connect well spiritually.” There are many ways to recharge our spiritual batteries, including meditation, a healthy lifestyle, being charitable, and so on.
Looking Within – A Message From My Guides
As the holiday season starts to ramp up around the world, everything becomes more and more hectic. Travel plans are made early. Gifts are purchased. Party invitations are extended. New outfits are bought. Menus are set. Baking is done. It is a wondrous time of year, to give thanks and to show appreciation to family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.
Under these circumstances, it is understandable that stress abounds too. For some people, in addition to all the excitement, there is a real feeling of obligation. The expectations of others can be overwhelming and, of course, it is impossible to please everyone. There is also the feeling that time is running too short to accomplish everything on the to-do list. Demands on your time can seem endless and unreasonable.
For others, the holiday season can be a very quiet and somewhat lonely time. Old memories can be triggered. Losses can become more heightened and a sense of sadness can prevail. In the Northern Hemisphere, the days get shorter and sometimes much colder, so sunlight isn’t as prevalent to perk you up and lighten your spirit.
Whether you are run off your feet or living a more solitary lifestyle, we recommend that you make some time to look within. A daily meditation habit can do wonders to give you a sense of peace, calm and gratitude. A quiet mind at the start of your day can prepare you for the remainder of each day as it unfolds. A peaceful feeling can help you to put things into perspective so as not to worry, overreact or panic unnecessarily.
Everyone has a ‘little narrator’ inside their head who is constantly chatting up a storm. If this little chatterbox was a real person sitting with you in your living room or in the car, you would eventually ask him or her to stop talking for a while so that you could think, read, watch TV, listen to music, converse, drive, and so on. However, because everyone has grown quite accustomed to this little tag-along giving constant commentary throughout the day, you carry on in spite of the continual interruptions.