boundaries
The Real Truth About Finding Love
I have been doing psychic readings for almost 20 years now, and the one topic that seems to come up most consistently is romantic love. The main issue that comes up all too frequently in these readings is a confusion about what love really is, and how to find true love.
The first thing I need to point out here is that the idea of ‘finding love’ is completely off-base to begin with. The notion that love must be ‘found’ makes very little from a metaphysical and spiritual perspective, and it is often the main reason why some people find their romantic relationships so challenging.
To say that one must ‘find love’ implies that love is somehow missing, lost, or in hiding. It suggests that love is limited and scarce, and that the experience of love is hidden and very complicated to access. The truth is that love is a transcendent, limitless force, and there is only one love that we all have equal access to.
This is another quandary that people have when they are looking to manifest romantic love in their life – they try to separate love into categories. Yes, there are different expressions of love, but in the end there is only one love. And everyone has access to it. Love is less about finding the ‘right circumstances’ and more about aligning with the vibe of love.
So, what is love? Is it ‘unconditional?’ In my view this is just another way of saying that love is limited. It also implies that there are two different forms of love – conditional and unconditional. This makes no sense, because there is only one love and this one love is always unconditional. Love is unconditional acceptance.
In my experience, this is what most of us are really looking for: unconditional acceptance. We experience love when we unconditionally accept ourselves, others, and our circumstances.
Spiritual Ascension 2020
When we experience a big shift or breakthrough, it will often feel like our lives are falling apart in order for something greater to manifest. The year 2020 is a prime example of this. It continues to be an extreme year on all levels, and it has truly been testing our inner and outer world.
I believe there is a spiritual reason for all of this. We are shifting into the Age of Aquarius. Our purpose, spiritual connection, relationships, and physical bodies are in the midst of a major spiritual awakening that feels like an intense storm or crisis for many of us.
We are now becoming more aware of the people, places and circumstances that no longer serve us. It is an opportunity to strengthen our intuition and re-calibrate our inner compass.
Emotions are also running high this year, since we are constantly being triggered, but it’s happening to get us in touch with who we really are as spiritual beings, and to help us navigate through the fears connected to our past traumas.
It is meant to integrate the light and dark aspects within each of us, and to embrace it wholeheartedly, without caring what other people may think.
You may also have been noticing certain ascension symptoms. For example, your body no longer wants certain foods, and substances, so be sure to cut back on anything that makes you tired or irritable, or causes you physical discomfort. Drink lots of water, keep a health journal, get some exercise, and eat a healthy, wholesome diet. It will help you be more calm and mindful during these demanding times.
There will continue to be days of anxiety, anger, impatience and frustration, so be sure to acknowledge when any such negative emotions surface, so you can find a moment to breathe and re-direct your energy into something that helps you find greater peace of mind.
Multi-Tasking Does Not Cultivate A Quality Life
I’m sure there has been a time in your life when you may have been too active on a hot summer, day without adequately hydrating, or juggling far too many tasks at once without taking a break. While you may have crossed the finish line, or pleased your boss by checking off all the tasks you completed, your sense of well-being was probably rock bottom, and your nerves frazzled. You possibly also questioned whether or not the best version of yourself showed up for life the next day.
Although many of us have found ways to multi-task our hectic lives, research is increasingly showing that effective multi-tasking is in fact a myth. Working on multiple projects at once doesn’t necessarily make us high achievers, or a successful super humans. Multitasking for most individuals merely replaces quality with quantity, and often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and disconnected from our deeper purpose.
As a spiritualist, I make it a practice not to judge how others achieve their everyday objectives and goals. But I do counsel many people who seem to have traded quantity for quality in their lives, and are missing out on the gift of savoring the sweet taste of personal achievement that is purposely focused and uninterrupted.
While old habits are tough to break, each of us has the innate capacity to build new processes within our mind. Psychological tools, such as Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) for example, can be used to re-program the mind to think differently.
Metaphysics and New Thought spirituality also teaches that through positive thinking we can manifest healthier outcomes in all areas of our lives. Many indigenous peoples also have a long tradition of spiritual practices, such as vision quests, dream interpretation, divination, and rituals and ceremonies, to help seekers find their best path.
Stay In The Light
During these challenging times, it is essential to stay in the light. It protects your emotional, spiritual, mental and physical health. How do you ‘stay in the light?’ You achieve it by maintaining a raised energy vibration in a time of extreme darkness. It means you don’t get sucked into other people’s drama, darkness, fear and toxicity. You don’t allow yourself to get weighed down by the negativity in the world around you.
Staying in the light doesn’t mean you don’t have an opinion or strong personal views, or that you are not aware, supportive and caring, or that you don’t get involved in the world around you when it truly matters. It simply means you always take care of yourself, while you are doing whatever it is that you need to do every day. Staying in the light is about making self-care a priority.
Staying in the light is about psychic shielding and setting boundaries where and when necessary. For example, avoiding toxic people and environments is one of the best things you can do to stay in the light. You have no obligation to tolerate and accommodate toxic people and energy thieves!
If you work with toxic people, don’t listen to the office gossip and don’t get sucked into their negative world. Also, don’t show them that they may be upsetting, or hurting you. Take a deep breath, call on your inner strength, and simply smile. Own your personal power – you are much stronger than you may realize.
Stay away from social media, if you are easily overwhelmed by negativity. For the first time in human history, we now have the technology to instantly access the opinions, fears, false beliefs and negative experiences of every human being who has access to a keyboard or smart phone. We are confronted daily with the pain, hysterics and drama of thousands of people, all at once!
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.