How To Deal With Toxic People

Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.

A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.

The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.

Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.

Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.

Even if toxic people came with a warning tattooed on their skin, they might still be difficult to avoid. We can always decide who we allow close to us but it’s not always that easy to cut out the toxics from other parts of our lives ~ Karen Young

Although toxic personalities can be complex and subtle, there is one reliable way to know when you are dealing with a toxic person: you never feel good around them for very long. The negative feelings they may induce will vary according to the toxic person involved, but if you are constantly feel anxious, fearful, insecure, unsupported, disregarded, hurt, drained, taken advantage of, judged, insulted, or abused, then you are very likely dealing with a toxic individual.

The best way to deal with extremely toxic people is simply to stay away from them completely. However, sometimes we have no choice but to deal with such a person on a regular basis. They might be a team member, coworker, manager, employer, mutual friend, relative, family member, or even a stranger in the supermarket. In these cases, it is important to take back your power by finding effective ways to deal with the toxic person that will neutralize their poisonous effect on your well-being. While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to deal with toxic people, the following strategies may help to minimize their impact in your life.

Raise Your Vibration

Spiritual empowerment and energetic self-care is often the most overlooked or disregarded strategy for protection against the negativity of people around us. Toxic people tend to be energy vampires that leave you drained and deflated every time you have to deal with them. Raising your vibration and shielding your aura will help you to more effortlessly deflect their toxic energy. Ensure that you remain spiritually aligned and in a higher consciousness state of inner strength and peace. It is therefore vital to include in your lifestyle a daily spiritual routine that involves self-empowerment practices like meditation, prayer, visualization, affirmation, divination, journaling, and so on. Toxic individuals generally do not feel comfortable around spiritually empowered people, unless they are pretending to be highly spiritual themselves.

Don’t Make It Personal

It is difficult to not take criticisms or insults personally, but it’s important to remember that the toxic person’s statements are generally not really directed at you. Their highly critical, judgmental words are usually a projection of their own insecurities, discontent, or sense of inferiority. Try to remember that this is their way of coping with their own shortcomings and do not take their words to heart.

Set Boundaries

Toxic people tend to take advantage of others and expect to have their needs met without any regard for the needs and feelings of the people around them. It is vital to set boundaries and let them know when their behavior is unacceptable. Be clear and firm in your stance and make it known that their inappropriate behavior will not be tolerated. Do not negotiate, debate or argue about it. Clearly draw the line and then proceed with the conversation or task at hand, or simply step away if possible.

Avoid Arguments

The only way to win an argument with a toxic person is not to have one. They tend to thrive on conflict and drama, and any attempt to challenge them will be met with an extremely defensive or aggressive response. It’s better to remain neutral and avoid engaging in arguments, as this will only lead to further conflict.

Stay Calm

It is best to remain as calm and sensible as possible. Toxic individuals thrive on chaos and drama and will attempt to provoke an emotional reaction. Don’t let them succeed. By staying calm and collected, you can de-escalate the situation and avoid getting drawn into the crazymaking.

Don’t Enable

Enabling them will only encourage further toxic behavior. Remind yourself that their dysfunctional conduct is not your responsibility or problem. Don’t participate in their drama or indulge their negativity. Set boundaries and don’t give in to their demands. Make it clear that they must take responsibility for their actions and be more considerate of others.

Get Help

If you find yourself in a difficult situation with a toxic person and feel unable to manage it, then seek professional help. Counseling can be very beneficial and supportive in dealing with a toxic person you cannot avoid or cut out of your life.

However, if you are in a romantic relationship with a toxic partner, then it may be best to get safely out of the situation as soon as possible, before too much lasting damage is done to your heart, mind and soul. This is especially crucial if you are being subjected to any kind of abuse or even violence.

If you know or suspect that you are currently in a very toxic relationship, but do not know how to deal with it or how to end it, then get help immediately. A good place to start is to get confidential support from a helpline or hotline in your area. Most helpline calls are toll-free, and many are also available through text message or online chat. They are usually also accessible at any time of the day or night. Help is always available. All you need to do is reach out and ask.