Empaths Need Firm Psychosocial Boundaries

Psychosocial balance is tricky for the empath. It requires managing expectations, checking our reactions and emotions, and most especially setting boundaries. Because it is so easy for us to link into the feelings and emotions of those around us, empaths often forget that others may not respond in kind.

For the empath it’s all about balancing your intuitive gifts with your expectations, and finally your responses. Work, friendships, relationships, all the things that encompass our daily lives, require vigilance to ensure that balance is maintained, or chaos will ensue.

For the Type A empath, jobs, friendships and relationships can end very abruptly with major repercussions. The more assertive empath tends to have the motto of “do unto others before they do unto you.” They will leave a job, a relationship or a friendship at the drop of a hat. The more subdued, timid empath tends to stay in miserable job situations, one-sided friendships, and sometimes downright abusive intimate relationships.

At work especially it is very important for all empaths to remember that there is almost always going to be some personality clashes. Others do not always view us favorably.  Remember that you are there to do a job – your job. Staying focused on your work, the requirements of that job and your performance is your primary responsibility. Confronting someone, especially a superior, with “what’s your problem, I know you don’t like me” is counterproductive. Similarly the typical response of the introverted empath to quit, or at least never address any issues, is also futile.

Yes, it can be gut-wrenching or infuriating for empaths to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a co-worker or boss doesn’t care for them, or has it out for them, but utilize your gift! As an empath you can read the feelings and intentions of others. This gives you a map to the personalities you are dealing with. Use that information to moderate your own responses to the situation and the individuals you are dealing with in your professional environment.

Some people are far more cognizant than others but sensitivity has its own cross to bear and ample insight, in many cases, can bring on disquietude ~ Donna Lynn Hope

Healthy friendships and relationships are give and take. All empaths tend to be givers, which is wonderful, as long as there is a balance. Type A empaths will jump in and often times give unsolicited advice to a friend or partner, when many times what is required is simply to listen and support. The long-suffering Type B empath can find themselves dreading calls from certain people, because they know it is going to be a marathon session of ‘woe is me’ or a request for a favor, to which the empath simply can’t say no.

Remember we all must walk our own individual paths. Listening with compassion and reinforcing the strengths and gifts that you see in your friends, and sharing that with them, can be empowering for all. Empaths tend to forget that not everyone has a window into the emotions and feelings of others, so managing expectations is important. Evaluate your relationships and see if you are being too invasive with your opinions, too passive in allowing “friends” or partners to invade and take advantage of your generous spirit.

Empathy is the only human superpower – it can shrink distance, cut through social and power hierarchies, transcend differences, and provoke political and social change ~ Elizabeth Thomas

As empaths we must also respect the boundaries and privacy of those around us. Remember everyone has different gifts, strengths and weaknesses. It can be very disconcerting for others to work with, be friends with, or live with someone who has such laser insight into their feelings and thoughts – often before they are aware of it themselves. Create firm boundaries for yourself, but also be considerate of the boundaries of others. Create balance for yourself and those around you, and enjoy the peace it brings.