News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

denial

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Forget Self-Love

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you are wounded or unhealed; if you grew up in a dysfunctional family; if you grew up in an environment of poverty, violence, racism, or sexual assault… forget self-love! Seriously. Where on Earth would you have learned the skills for giving yourself some healthy self-love? You will be shooting in the dark trying to do something that you have never seen modeled for you, and never really experienced.

‘Self-love’ has become an overrated marketing slogan to sell self-improvement products and services. Start instead with self-care. This will be difficult enough. If you have children, think back on how complex it was figuring out how to care for your first born. The same concept applies to owning your first pet as an adult. No matter how much you prepared, you were never truly prepared. You made mistakes and you learned from them.

You also discovered that sometimes caring for your child meant doing things that the child did not like, or even hated. Your child would cry, fight, throw a tantrum, while you tried to keep him away from the hot stove, or from putting something harmful in her mouth.

Learning self-care is similar to raising a child or caring for a puppy. However, you will be the child and Spirit will be the  parent. You will make mistakes and you will resist, because some of the things you currently think are acts of self-care are actually harmful to you. Continue reading

True Love Comes Full Circle

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen you feel a love connection with someone, why don’t things just automatically fall into place? Shouldn’t falling in love be easy and simple? For most, it is not, and the reasons vary.

A child only instinctively knows to fear falling and loud noises. Everything else is taught to us by our parents, culture, education system, media, and authority figures in our community. They are the ones that put values upon us, teaching us what is important, and what is not. Whether you agree with them or not, you absorb it, and more often than not mimic it. I often hear people say “I am nothing like my mother and father!” And yet, they emulate traits of their parents, especially the ones they dislike the most.

Love should be easy, but when it is not, perhaps it is because you have some work to do yourself. We co-create our relationships. If it is toxic, we each have a role. Difficult relationships are challenging and we all go through them – some more than others. I myself walked into an extremely toxic relationship thinking it was going to be an epic romance!

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Addicted To ‘Getting It’

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comOne way to improve yourself, or change your life, is to gain understanding either through a teacher, a therapist, a nutritionist, a personal trainer, further study or research, and so on. One can then use your newly acquired understanding to implement change, which will also change your energy, because you implemented change you understood.

However, many people gain new understanding, but remain stuck in their inaction, their fear of taking action, of making different choices. Think about how many people you know who understand or ‘know’ how to eat healthily, how to exercise correctly, or to not jump into bed with just anyone. Then think about how many of those people put their understanding into actual action in their lives. You see my point?

Some also use understanding to get stuck. Everything has a double edge, light and dark, Yin and Yang. The art of living is a moving form of balance. Some people demand of themselves, others, even of Spirit, to be ‘given’ understanding, before they will take action (instead of working to gain that understanding for themselves). As if being ‘given understanding’ will somehow be a kind of protection, or guarantee of success.

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Victims And True Feelings

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comWhat is the difference between being a victim and feeling like a victim? Well, the first is identifying as a victim and making decisions from that base as a way of life. The other is going into the wounds of whatever happened to them, where they were a victim, and feeling those feelings, exploring them, processing them and allowing them to be released, as a part of the journey of healing.

Healing is waking up, coming out of denial. You finally admit you were hurt, abused, abandoned, raped, lied to, robbed, beaten up and that yes, it hurt. Yes, there was terrible fear and a loss of self, a loss of faith, depression, anxiety, and so much more. This stage is shocking, and it hurts. Your ego is demolished as you finally cave into the realizations and emotions that emerge as you face the truth about what happened to you, instead of minimizing it, explaining it away, or muscling through it.

Grieving, Raging And Learning

You will inevitably need to move through the grief cycle in order to find hope and healing. This process can take two years and longer. Many people will not understand that you are grieving, since you haven’t lost anyone to death. This process is not linear. It twists and turns through loops that overlap, moves forward, and then falls back again. Continue reading

How To Trust Your Spiritual Teacher

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you have a spiritual teacher, how do you know you can trust her? Weren’t you told to trust yourself first? Wait, how do you know you can trust your therapist, or even your doctor? Especially with all the sexual assault cases coming to light these days, it is scary to think that someone who is supposed to be your protector, care-giver, or mentor will use that position to manipulate you into a situation that is abusive, sometime violently abusive. Thinking about this can be horrifying, but so is not thinking about it.

What about the idea ‘trust yourself’? The problem with just trusting yourself is that if you grew up in an alcoholic, drug-abusing, violent family, or in some of the more subtle dysfunctional family dynamics, such as having a narcissistic or wounded parent, your radar for self-care is damaged. You do not yet have the skills to discern what is healthy for you. Your brain and nervous system is literally wired for dysfunction as your default normal setting. This means you will choose the dysfunction you know, because it is all you know. You will seek out an alcoholic lover; or you will find jobs with narcissistic bosses, for example.

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Coping With The Pain Of Loss And Grief

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comGoing through grief is a very natural response to loss. The more significant the loss, the more intense our grief will be. Grieving can result from the passing of a loved one, losing a job, divorce, loss of health.

Coping with loss can be overwhelming. We usually go through all kinds of difficult and very unexpected emotions – from shock to anger to disbelief. Sometimes we also feel guilty that maybe there could have been more one should have done. And then there is the sadness, which is hard to even put into words.

The pain of grief and bereavement can, and often does, also disrupt our physical health, making it very difficult to sleep, eat and function normally. It is very hard to think straight at such a time, but these are normal reactions to significant loss.

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Be Honest With Yourself

Click the picture to get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comAs a professional psychic, I often come across clients who are stuck in a relationship or career that doesn’t seem to bring them fulfillment or happiness. Overall it seems our society has been conditioned to settle for less than we are worth, and the majority of us have been raised to escape from our problems, instead of acknowledging them head on.

If you are at a crossroads, or questioning why you find yourself in a toxic situation, then it may be time to get brutally honest about who you are and what you really want. Refuse to make any further excuses and take responsibility for what you can change. Denial or lack of self-love will often times hold us back, but the truth will always set one free into greener pastures. Ask yourself the vital questions. Continue reading

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