victim mentality
The Self-Healing Miracle Of Letting Go
In the mid-90s, I had the opportunity to attend The Sedona Method Technique Teacher Training course in Arizona. The experience pierced the core of my being and changed my life forever.
Initially, I was reluctant to go, because I was living in Michigan at the time with my husband and two young daughters. My youngest was around a year old and our older daughter was only five. We had not been living in Michigan very long as we had only recently moved there, and I was terribly worried about leaving them for two weeks!
Nevertheless, I convinced myself to go, because my husband had gone to a previous workshop and raved about how it transformed his life. I sensed it would be good tool to incorporate into my psychic readings and metaphysical work.
When I arrived at the workshop there were attendees from all over the world, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and even scientists. To be honest, I felt a little awkward being thrown in with a bunch of ‘genius nerds’ with various fancy post-graduate degrees. It was a bit intimidating to feel that many of them probably had a much better understanding and formal education on human behavior than I did. However, that did not prevent me from also learning this wonderful technique.
The Sedona Method is based on the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It is different from intellectual intelligence, because it refers to our ability to recognize and regulate our own emotions, and how skilled we are at using social awareness to find solutions to daily challenges and life problems.
The Sedona Method therefore teaches one how to improve your EQ. In the same way we can go to the gym to strengthen a muscle, or do brain training puzzles to improve our memory, we can also train and develop our emotional intelligence.
Our natural impulse when something makes us sad, angry, or fearful, is to resist and fight back, or shut down emotionally to it. Emotional intelligence requires that we take a step back, take a breath, and release the urge to go with a kneejerk reaction of firing back or shutting down.
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.
We Are Never Alone
Extreme loneliness and feeling isolated have become more prevalent over the past year. Distancing ourselves from loved ones, friends and co-workers has not been easy, but being the determined spirits we are, we are all finding new ways to communicate and stay in touch. Yet, it will never be the same as a real-life hug.
Living in a house with several other people also does not shield us from feeling lost in all the chaos and noise that reaches us from the outside world, leaving many of us feeling empty, anxious and downcast.
To navigate these challenging times it is vital to have strong internal center and active spiritual life. Being spiritually aware and grounded empowers us with the knowing that we are never alone. Spiritually conscious souls know that the Universe, Spirit, God, Source, is always with us, supporting us, directing us, and protecting us.
Touching base with Spirit on a daily basis offsets the void of loneliness, fear or despair when it rears its ugly head. Some people do not have a social support system, and this can generate even more severe loneliness, depression and mental health challenges.
It’s important to remember that in our daily prayers and meditations, we are able to send protection, healing light and loving energy to others at a distance. We should be mindful to reach out to others more often and share our ‘spiritual glow’ with them.
It is also helpful to remember that there is always a higher purpose with everything that happens in our world. Keeping this knowledge uppermost in our minds can take us out of panic mode and remind us that faith and trust will bring us through to the other side of this pandemic.
When a sense of loneliness arises, one of the best things you can do is to reach out to someone else who is in a more difficult or less privileged circumstance than yourself. It serves to break the hold that a feeling of solitude can have on us.
A Sincere Apology Is Good For The Soul
One of the most difficult things in life is knowing when to apologize. It is obvious in some situations, but in others not so much. There are times when we need to weigh out all our options. Is the situation worth an apology, even if you are not the one who created a problem?
Knowing the right time to apologize is critical to the resolution. Was it done intentionally, or was it unintentional? Did the action cause others stress, worry, or pain?
You must also ask yourself if you can live without apologizing the rest of your life. Is it worth losing a friendship, leaving a group, resigning from a job, or not speaking to a family member ever again?
The good old Golden Rule can always come in handy in this dilemma. If you have done something that you would not want done to you, then apologize and seek atonement! Many people find it almost impossible to apologize. They struggle to acknowledge their own part in an argument or wrongdoing.
Some just do not seem to understand their actions were unacceptable, or they always feel that the world is out to get them. There is no compromise in their mind. They always try to twist every situation to make it seem like it is another person’s fault.
For some people, on the other hand, an apology seems to roll off their tongue a little too easily. When a sincere apology is made it must be followed by actions. Actions speak louder than words. By not repeating the offense, for example, it shows a true and sincere apology.
Sometimes all the other person needs to hear is a sincere, “I am sorry.” When we accept responsibility for our actions, we tell others we are sorry for hurting them. It is not always easy, but releasing guilt always is good for the soul.
Thriving In The Winter Of Our Discontent
Enduring a harsh winter with extreme weather, in the midst of an ongoing pandemic, is not an easy feat. It reminds me of the ‘winter of our discontent’ that Shakespeare refers to in the first line of his play Richard III. This winter-pandemic combo is certainly a ‘double whammy’ that could potentially break any camel’s back! But how we choose to deal with these times will determine how it will serve to improve our lives in the long run.
Winter is actually a great time to think about spiritual and personal self-care, especially in places where there are extreme weather conditions. Where I live, in the state of Maine, the winters weather conditions can be severe, making it a time to just surrender, to give myself permission to rest my body, mind and spirit.
It is a time to go within, to meditate, to read, write, paint, to do things that feed the soul. It is good time to connect deeply with our inner being, the subconscious mind, the higher self. It is a time to retreat, allowing the mind to regroup, and to replenish your body, mind, and spirit. When we take the time to get acquainted with ourselves again, we find truth, wisdom, mental and even physical healing.
If you are going through a snowed-up winter right now where you live, use this time to review your bucket list. Reflect on all that is good about your life. Think about things that are not working for you anymore and the best course of action to move forward. Give yourself time to process it all.
The past year has also been a time of getting to know who we really are and what matters to us most. The global pandemic had some major shocks and surprises in store for those of us who had lost touch with ourselves and the people around us. I have been helping many clients working through these challenges.
For many the pandemic has notably been a time of intense solitude. A time of learning to be comfortable in your own company. In the beginning, the hope was that life would go back to normal in just a few months. But as time has gone on, we have had adjust to the so-called ‘new normal.’
Work Through The Fear, Obligation And Guilt (FOG)
Reflecting on my life I have found how many of my early life experiences have subconsciously influenced me, mostly due to a lack of awareness that allowed fear, a sense of obligation and guilt to remain hidden.
These hidden influences mostly come from my formative years and became obstacles I had to repeatedly struggle with in my adult life with regards relationships, career, finances, family and community.
Once I discovered these non-empowering beliefs, it was time for me to get out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt). In hindsight, several things I was unaware of in my family’s dynamics, were actually ‘seeds’ hidden beneath the surface that in time sprouted into personal challenges and self-sabotage.
Fear
Fear and insecurity are frequent visitors for many of us in all areas of life. I was constantly focused on the negative and worst-case scenarios. This is because our brain is wired this way for the purpose of survival. Much of it also depends on our upbringing. So, we must recognize this and catch ourselves early on, in order to shift our thoughts and emotions in a positive direction.
We must be cognitive of our behaviors and explore where in our life we have learned these negative, fear-based responses. Fear is a natural part of life, but can easily become a ‘whack-a-mole’ of frustration, anxiety, uncertainty and indecision, always showing up at the most inconvenient times.
Realign Your Spirit This New Year
With the difficult year 2020 finally in our rear-view mirror, it is time to stop for a moment, clear our minds, hearts and spirit, and embrace the hope, happiness, well-being and prosperity that awaits us in the new year. We do not have to carry the pain and chaos of 2020 forward with us.
The first step to achieve this would be to check our alignment body, mind and spirit. Alignment is defined as the “arrangement in a straight line, or in correct or appropriate relative positions,” as well as a “position of agreement or alliance.” Happiness, well-being and abundance becomes blocked for us when we are not in agreement and alliance with our spirit.
Many of us have been in survival mode the past year, instead of in thrive mode. Dramatic changes in our health and wellness, career, business, finances, relationships, family and social life, and our lifestyles in general, can cause our soul energy to go sideways and out of alignment, just like being sideswiped by a car.
If you step off a curb suddenly, fall, twist an ankle, or pull a muscle, it will often put unusual stress on our spine and central nervous system. When the spine is misaligned a myriad of symptoms such as headaches, lower back pain, neck pain and numbness can manifest. Symptoms like these are the body’s way of letting us know something needs to be urgently attended to.
The same holds true for our spiritual well-being. When our energy, mental processes, and emotions begin to run amuck, our spiritual alignment needs to be corrected to regain our balance. Our body, mind and spirit must all be facing the same direction for us to move forward.
Staying in alignment with Spirit enables us to bounce back quickly, stay on course and manifest happiness and prosperity in our lives. Alignment with Spirit is our natural and preferred state, and while we may find ourselves temporarily off for various reasons, we are never too far to come back.