How To Heal Your Broken Heart

In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’  Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.

He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”

I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.

How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?

At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.

Acknowledge

I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse.

You find out what you are made of when you have a broken heart. If it happens early and often, all the better ~ Isabel Gillies

Self-Invest

Grieving the end of a relationship can be alleviated by calling on Archangel Raphael every day. Raphael offers emotional support in our time of need. It is also equally crucial to self-nurture and self-invest. Feed your five senses with positivity; aim to keep everything you see, hear, smell, taste and touch as upbeat and emotionally nurturing as possible. Doing so helps to kick-start the emotional healing process, while helping you feel as good as possible in the meantime.

Persevere

After being ‘rejected’ by someone, we are often tempted to seek validation by finding someone else to take their place or make us feel better about ourselves. Nevertheless, ‘rebound’ relationships rarely work out. Instead, allow yourself enough time to grieve and be by yourself for a while, as doing so should get you through the grieving and healing process more quickly and effectively.

No-Contact

If you genuinely want to get over your ex, then the no-contact rule is usually the way to go. Promise yourself that you will make no phone calls, send no texts, and have no other form of communication with them as far as circumstances allow.  Also, please do not be tempted to ‘stalk’ their social media. You risk adding insult to injury, by seeing them happily getting on with their life, and even showing off their new love, while you remain stuck in misery. This kind of attachment, or even obsession, only serves to open up old wounds and drag you all the way back to where you started. Severing contact may seem somewhat harsh or extreme, but it will help you heal sooner rather than later.

Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either ~ Golda Meir

Focus

Initially, your ex is going to be on your mind constantly, therefore it is vital to begin shifting your focus as soon as possible. Draw up a list of things you enjoy doing and start making some plans, so that you have something to look forward to in the difficult days and weeks that lie ahead.

Whatever you choose to focus upon, make sure it is not associated with your ex. If your loved one pops into your head, all you need do is acknowledge the thought or memory, and then, as swiftly as you can, return your attention to your to-do list.

Give Thanks

Be thankful for the experiences and time you shared with your ex. How can I possibly expect you to thank someone for hurting you? Well, you can’t, that is for sure. However, as time goes by, you will come to learn that your ex has simply prepared you for new, better love possibilities.

Back in 1984, I did not only lose my relationship, but I also my job. I suffered a ‘double whammy,’ as if one loss invited another. Some 15 years later, I was out with a good friend one evening for cocktails. By now, I was happily married and successfully self-employed. Then the man who had fired me from my job all those years ago, walked into the cocktail lounge with the man who had ended our relationship. Yes, indeed, as fate would have it, Mr. Whammy I and Mr. Whammy II it seemed had meanwhile become bosom buddies.

My friend turned around to me and asked, “what are you going to say if they come over? I assured her I had just two words for both of them: “Thank you.”

My friend looked puzzled and exclaimed, “How can you even think of thanking them after everything they did?” I then explained to her that if they had not done it, I would still be stuck in the sorry excuse for a dead-end job, instead of successfully self-employed. And I would also have been in an unfulfilling, dead-end relationship instead of with the emotionally available, supportive, caring man who is now my beloved husband.

Trust me, as difficult as it may be, try to find what is good in a bad situation, or at least trust that good shall come from it. One day you too will be able to look back, smile, and be grateful.