victim mentality
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.
Spirit Courage, Body Bravery
We all know someone who clearly walks to the beat of their own drum. These people typically have a robust inner strength, and refuse to accept at will any pertinent information handed to them by anyone in a position of authority. The one such character that stands out in my life is my maternal grandfather.
We came from a small town of 8,000 souls. Although our neighbors enjoyed the comforts of electricity, running water and all the modern conveniences of that time, my grandfather instead chose a code of living that suited him best.
The farmers in the area also had the use of tractors and other types of modern farming equipment that enabled them to work in a more worldly fashion, but my grandfather stubbornly refused to adhere to these modern trends. He had reliable horses to pull his plow and haul the hay, used kerosene lanterns when electric lighting was easily available to him, and firmly kept to his agenda with a tedious water pump that was needed for the normal household chores.
He was a very dedicated and diligent employee, working in the shipyard. He helped to load cargo ships from all corners of the globe, which came for the mighty salmon our region was extremely well-known for. Papa, as he was known to one and all, married at a very young age, which was a normal occurrence in those days, and managed to sire 15 children. He was also very well-versed and totally immersed in politics. The entire neighborhood would first ask his advice before casting their ballot, or not, for any politician brave enough to run for local office.
Emotional Self-Care Through Daily Spiritual Practice
For those that are highly sensitive, including psychics, mediums, healers and empaths, awareness and self-care are critical to our overall well-being. If you are an individual that fits into this group and you are not doing daily maintenance on your emotional well-being and spiritual body, then you are leaving the gate wide open for an attack that can not only impact your emotions, but also your mental and physical health. This maintenance is achieved primarily through a daily spiritual practice.
Spiritual practice can be anything from prayer to meditation and is defined as the regular performance of actions and activities for the purpose of inducing spiritual experiences and cultivating spiritual development. Simply put, spirituality is the way you choose to find meaning, hope and inner peace in your life.
If you already adhere to a specific faith, tradition or religion, wonderful, but be certain that you are taking time each day to actively engage with your beliefs. Why is this important? Research has shown that those that engage in a regular spiritual practice live longer, and are healthier mentally and physically.
Why I Do Readings
The main thing I notice about being a channel is the focus on what healing is, its purpose, and how being a healer in service to others is held against being selfish.
If someone is fulfilled by sacrificial service (victim-savior relations) and this is their mission in life, then they would likely derive the greatest joys from this kind of sacrifice, because Spirit would bring them seekers who want that type of service. It is a sacrifice, indeed, although often cleverly disguised as a helping venue.
In any case, one can pick any way of healing that resonates for you. For me, I find that I prefer to educate my clients in terms of what an empath can and cannot (or should not do) in my opinion. Personally, I am not fulfilled by victim-savior scenarios. I don’t find them to be healthy on any level.
All the same, I used to fall into the trap of trying to ‘fix’ people, to the point that it was my main modus operandi in life – being prey for others that are seeking life source energy from others. I discontinued doing that when I realized several truths:
Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists
Why are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.
But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.
An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.
There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.
Energy Vampires And Psychic Bullies
Is someone or something draining your energy? Most of the time it’s someone whom you are either trying to please, or get approval from, or someone you’re trying to help. You may begin to notice that something changes in your energy field each time you are around this person, or that you feel an imbalance of some sort afterwards. When I say being around a person, this can mean exposure to them through meeting in person, texting, talking over the phone, and even energetically, or psychically.
Energy bullies and psychic vampires are very good sucking the life force right out of you. Unfortunately, you may not notice this is happening, until after the fact. However, once you realize what has happened, identifying it is the first step to proactive healing, regeneration, and protection from allowing it to happen again.
Are You A Magnet For Drama And Chaos?
One of my clients recently relocated to a quieter area, after many years of living a city life. Naturally, she was anticipating a more tranquil existence in her new rural setting, as well as in her new job in a ‘not-so-corporate’ environment. But her new lifestyle did not live up to her expectations. Her geographical change still brought with it a fair amount of chaos.
“What is it with me?” she asked me. “I am like a magnet for drama, and I want the chaos to stop!” Although I kept my focus on doing a reading for her with psychic tools, this was quite a challenging question or me personally, because I had, in fact, also been attracting my own share of drama these past few years.
From my own experience, I know that a certain amount of drama can feel temporarily invigorating, as it prompts the body to produce an adrenaline rush. It can produce a pleasant surge of energy. But it can eventually become particularly debilitating when we are in continuous adrenal overdrive. It’s not an advisable state to be in constantly. After all, we are spiritual beings in a body, and spiritual teachings advise a balance of work, sleep, rest and play!