self-knowledge
From Fictional Self To Authentic Self
A new concept that seems to be going around a lot lately in the spiritual community is to be your ‘authentic self.’ But what does this really mean? How do you know who your authentic self is? Heck, you may say, “I’m still trying to find out what my life purpose is, never mind who I truly am!”
Well, as a result of our education, our upbringing, our family dynamics, our job, and such, when we are asked the question “who are you,” we resort to answers such as: a mom, a dad, engineer, doctor, janitor. We tend to express our identity by what work we do, what credentials we have, and what society or our community has told us to be. We are bombarded by social, political, environmental and family expectations that can overwhelm us in modern life.
On top of this, the world today seems to be in chaos. There is distrust everywhere, and we have to contend with challenges like identity theft and social peer pressure. Yet, we are now also expected to know our authentic self? “God, help me, I don’t have time to look for that! I have the kids to take care of, work deadlines to keep, dinner and laundry to do, and I urgently need to sign up for an exercise program to reduce my weight!”
It is never ending, you say. Your authentic self is somewhere, you just don’t know where and no time to find it. But that is just the point! All these things we are expected to do are there because of the pressure we put on ourselves. As we look through our colored lenses of self-inflicted expectations and the social pressure we have learned from family or peers, we lose touch with who we really are, and what we truly want.
Ghosting, Gaslighting And Gameplaying!
In my work as a psychic, I assist clients daily with navigating life’s challenges, especially their relationships with the people in their life. While the guidance I receive from spirit has essentially remained the same over the years, the language I use to relay this information changes over time.
The professional psychic must constantly adapt and renovate the terminology she uses in readings to communicate spirit’s messages. New slang and buzzwords continually show up in our culture as society evolves, and it must become part of the psychic’s vocabulary to ensure she communicates clearly and effectively.
Three of the new terms that frequently comes up in readings these days is ghosting, gaslighting, and gameplaying.
Ghosting
Ghosting is when someone stops communicating with you, casually ignores you, and no longer replies to any of your calls or messages. All communication is abandoned for no apparent reason.
“He has been ghosting me!” some clients frequently exclaim. “What is going on? Why is he acting this way?” In these readings, it often becomes clear that he may be doing so for one of the following reasons:
The Path Of Personal Development
Personal development is an essential part of our spiritual mission and soul purpose in this lifetime. It is a lifelong process of self-improvement that involves setting goals, taking steps towards realizing those goals, and learning from our experiences along the way. It is an ongoing journey to becoming the best version of ourselves.
To fulfill this mission, we must develop various life skills, knowledge, insight and wisdom by growing socially, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Personal development is thus a commitment to reach our highest potential in our current incarnation by striving to live a life of fulfillment and purpose.
The path of personal development is not the same for everyone. We all have unique personalities, traits, talents, interests, wishes and dreams. Our path is further determined by our values, beliefs, and life experiences, as well as our soul contract and calling in this lifetime.
It is a journey of physical, mental, and metaphysical self-discovery, in which we explore, uncover and evolve our true potential. It is a process of constantly learning and growing, which can take many forms.
To venture down our path of personal development we must take action and progress towards achieving your goals. It involves setting goals, creating plans, and taking practical steps to reach those goals. On a practical level this might include activities and pursuits like learning a new language, getting a degree, starting a business, achieving physical fitness, participating in a sport, volunteering, taking an art class, travelling abroad, pursuing a spiritual practice like meditation, divination, journaling, or dreamwork, and so on.
Facing Our Inner Demons
I am in the process of relocating, again. Yes, I have done this many times before. I have repeatedly packed up my most treasured belongings to completely reboot my life in a different town, city, or state.
Some people find moving to be a logistical hassle and inconvenience, while others find it very challenging to say goodbye to friendly faces and familiar places. They therefore avoid it whenever possible. But for me relocating to a new place is an inspiring opportunity and invigorating adventure! Settling in a new place, to explore and discover, have novel experiences, and create new memories, is so very exciting. It keeps me young and motivated!
It is however important to note that I do not choose to relocate because I am running away from myself, my problems, or life’s challenges. It is true that some people relocate frequently because they hope it may solve their problems or help them to somehow feel happier. This is never a good idea.
The problem with moving for the wrong reasons is that you pack up and take all your troubles with you. At first, things are interesting and fun in the new location, but within a few months the ‘runners’ find themselves exactly where they were before. The problems they faced before, tend to be the same problems they now have in the new place. Right back to square one.
This kind of repeating pattern is something I often find with clients I do readings for. Someone I supported during a relationship break-up might call me one day, excited to tell me about their ‘perfect’ new love interest. Things are very exciting for a while for the new couple, until the same old patterns of dysfunctional behavior, conflict or drama begin to surface.
The Spiritual Wisdom Of Solitude
In the age of digital ‘connection,’ we are becoming more socially disconnected than ever before in human history. In fact, loneliness has become a secret epidemic profoundly affecting many people all over the world. A 2022 study of the prevalence of loneliness across 113 countries found that “problematic levels of loneliness are experienced by a substantial proportion of the population in many countries.”
There is strong evidence that loneliness or social isolation is a serious health risk that increases premature death from all causes, similar to smoking, obesity, and lack of exercise. It is also specifically linked to higher rates of heart failure, dementia, depression, anxiety, and suicide.
Loneliness must however not be confused with solitude, which is in fact a powerful aspect of spiritual practice that has been practiced since the dawn of time.
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone and isolated, regardless the amount of social contact. In other words, social isolation can cause a sense of loneliness in some of us, but we can also feel intensely lonely without being socially isolated. One can feel lonely even when there are many people present in our life.
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to be alone, usually for the purpose of personal reflection, recharging one’s energy, spiritual contemplation, or simply enjoyment of your own company. It’s about purposely choosing to be present with yourself, rather than the lack of social connection.
Focus On Your Own Karma
I often get questions about karma, vengeance, and divine justice from clients when I do readings. Will the haters get what’s coming to them? Will karma finally get my cheating ex? Will my abusive employer get his comeuppance someday? If so, how long will it take for them to feel the hurt and pain they inflicted on me?
When someone calls me hoping to hear that the other person will get their ‘karma,’ it usually relates to a recent incident and they feel like the rug has been pulled from under them – especially when the attack or betrayal was seemingly unfounded. They usually hope for immediate, soul-crushing retribution!
In my own life, I have not experienced such ‘instant karma.’ In fact, true karmic debt is a very slow turning wheel. Expecting immediate payback is a lost cause and a foolish pursuit. Revenge is sweet, they say, but the spiritual truth is that seeking venegeance will only add to your own karmic debt. If someone has hurt or wronged us, the pain will ease over time. Time heals all wounds, even if the scars remain.
The only meaningful ‘payback’ I have ever experienced in my own life, was the times when I received apologies from loved ones on the other side in mediumship readings. Those messages all came from the souls of family members who have completed their life review after their transition. Once we cross over into the spirit realm, we always get new clarity and an expanded understanding of our actions, or lack thereof, and how it has caused harm to others. For some souls this process takes much longer than for others.
This happened to me on several occasions over the years, with various mediums relaying spirit messages of remorse, apologies, and loved ones asking for my forgiveness. In every instance the ‘perpetrator’ had no idea of the impact they had had on me while they were in this life. Some of them also explained that their hurtful actions were due to a learned dysfunctional behaviors and trauma from their own life experiences, especially from childhood.
Waiting On The World To Change
Waiting On The World To Change is not just a great John Mayer song, it is also a devastating pattern in many people’s lives. Too often people are waiting for some outside force to come along and bring them the happiness and fulfillment they want. Living one’s life ‘on hold’ in this way can become a incapacitating habit that will only serve to make us eternally stuck and unhappy.
When we are waiting for a change from someone or something other than ourselves, we are not taking control of our own power. More importantly, we are also not taking personal responsibility for our God-given free will choices, nor are we holding ourselves accountable for our own actions (or inaction).
We all have that friend who is always saying how great her relationship would be ‘if only’ her partner would change a certain habit, or do something differently. Or that colleague who never gets the promotion, while she keeps blaming others as to why she is constantly overlooked. Or the diseased relative who ‘cannot’ improve her health and wellness, because making better lifestyle choices just doesn’t fit into her busy work schedule and social life.
The worst one for me is people waiting for that amazing soulmate relationship to finally materialize, when they are not making even the least bit of effort to put themselves out there and meet new people.
Some people spend a lot of time constantly setting new goals or intentions, making wish lists, creating vision boards, or doing visualizations or rituals, to manifest the changes they want to see in their lives. But what if the thing they need to change is actually themselves?