resentment
Comparison Poisons The Heart, Mind And Soul
When we are going through difficult times, we tend to compare our struggles and suffering to the lives of others and measure ourselves by their perceived happiness, joy and success.
We often do this these days by comparing our own lives to what others post on social media. Then we judge and mentally torture ourselves for not living up to other people’s highlight reels of happiness and good fortune.
Sure, it is sometimes beneficial to self-reflect and strive for more based on the examples of others who serve as our role models. However, when we indiscriminately compare our own life journey to everyone else’s, we end up diminishing our own uniqueness and value.
While social comparison can motivate us to improve and grow, it can also lead to toxic self-judgment, envy, resentment, and extreme unhappiness. Constantly focusing on the highlights of other people’s lives quickly becomes toxic and self-destructive.
However, this tendency is not a character flaw in some of us. In fact, it is a natural evolutionary instinct that we all have. Our ancestors survived by living in social groups. Our tendency to compare ourselves to others is therefore a very common human trait, rooted in our evolution as a species.
The Golden Power Of Silence
I took my early morning walk today along a path surrounded by an olive grove on one side and almond trees on the other. In the background the beautiful hills seemed mystical in the early morning mist.
The only sounds that broke the silence at this early hour were the chirping of birds and the bleating of baby goats playing on the small farm opposite my house. Occasionally they were interrupted by their father, who seemed to keep them safe by nudging them into a particular corner of the property.
In these moments of peaceful silence I like to have a dialogue with spirit to receive some guidance or direction for the day, as well as answers to questions I may have about my life and work. But today I felt guided to simply contemplate the meaning of silence.
There are many forms of silence, some less peaceful than others. For example, there are the ‘elephant in the room’ or ‘cold shoulder’ moments of silence when there is awkwardness between people. There is also the ‘poker face’ silence, when someone pretends to listen, but in reality has mentally withdrawn from the conversation. We also fall silent when we are perplexed or confused. Sometimes we keep silent to avoid possible misunderstandings.
A very powerful form of silence occurs when we are deeply engaged in an activity, alone or with others. Everything else seems to fade away as we concentrate on the task at hand.
And of course the best kind of silence is when we are in communion with spirit and the cosmos. In these moments we feel completely at peace and connected to others and the universe. This silence nourishes the soul and gives rise to divine inspiration and spiritual insight.
The Spiritual Virtue Of Patience
Patience is considered an essential virtue in most spiritual and religious traditions for several reasons. It is consistent with the core values and teachings of various spiritual paths and belief systems.
Many spiritual practices emphasize the importance of maintaining a state of inner calm in the midst of life’s challenges. Patience is fundamental to achieving inner peace and serenity. Patience helps us maintain a sense of serenity even in the face of extreme adversity.
Patience also enables us to surrender to the universal flow and accept the divine timing of outcomes for our highest good. We are better equipped to accept the divine plan and trust in the unfolding of events and circumstances as they are meant to be. Patience signifies our belief in a higher power and the universal order of all things.
Through patient introspection and self-reflection, we learn to understand our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, which leads to spiritual growth and self-improvement.
Impatience leads to negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and resentment. By practicing patience, we can better control and manage these emotions, which promotes emotional well-being and spiritual harmony.
Without patience, it is also difficult to develop understanding and empathy for others. Being patient with our own flaws and imperfections, as well as those of others, promotes the spiritual qualities of empathy and kindness.
The Empowering Wisdom Of Forgiveness
Although I consider myself a very spiritual person, forgiveness has not always been one of my strengths. In fact, I used to struggle with forgiving those who had hurt or wronged me.
Fortunately, as I matured in my spiritual evolution, I eventually realized that by not letting go of negative events and experiences in my past, I was only being haunted and held captive by them, which was not serving my highest good.
For several years, I was stuck in a downward cycle of replaying certain past events in my mind, reliving every excruciating detail and allowing the past to negatively influence the present and my future. Over time, it became clear that this issue was holding me back in more ways than I could have imagined.
To find some answers, I decided to shift the focus of my spiritual practice for a few months to consult my guides on this issue. During this time, spirit guided me as follows.
Letting Go
To truly forgive, we must let go of the past. There is no true forgiveness if we still somehow hold on to the smallest regret or resentment. Forgiveness is all, or nothing. There are no half measures or gray areas.
Forgiveness is more than just an emotional healing process, it is also an empowering metaphysical practice. If we do not release something completely, we continue to hold some level of negative energy that continues to affect our current vibration, which diminishes our quality of life and negatively affects our future happiness.
Frog’s Wisdom To Adapt To Change
I must admit, when I initially discovered that my spirit animal is the frog, my ego took somewhat of a dive! The frog is such a small, insignificant creature that is mostly overlooked, and certainly not the most attractive of species.
In had secretly hoped my totem animal might be a majestic, powerful animal that commands attention and is admired, even adored. But here was the tiny frog, my spirit guide.
However, once I uncovered some of the spiritual symbolism of this amazing little being, I soon grew to embrace its guiding presence in my life. Frog has in fact been teaching me much about myself, my path, and my place in the world.
The magnificent little frog’s most prominent attribute is its ability to adapt and transform. Frogs are all about change and new beginnings. They are also associated with purification, rebirth, and welcoming luck and abundance into your life. Frog is therefore the ideal power animal for anyone going through major changes in their life.
In my case, it was the opposite. Over the years, I had gradually developed a worldview that was somewhat stringent, restrained, and resistant to change. My inability to communicate with grace and clarity further complicated this outlook by causing me to become frustrated, and sometimes even angry and resentful.
The fact that I chose to perceive life in a self-limiting way was not apparent to me, until frog showed up. But with frog’s inspiration the realization started to sink in that it was not that the world was not kind, patient and accommodating towards me, but instead that I was creating resistance and that my needs and expectations were not always clearly expressed to others.
How To Truly Honor Our Departed Loved Ones
I attended a service recently at the local spiritualist centre that I found particularly meaningful. One of the spirit messages channeled by a visiting medium was for a recently bereaved man in the congregation. The grieving gentleman had been dealing with many mixed emotions since the passing of his spouse.
At first the medium provided the man with undeniable evidence that it was indeed his late wife who was making contact. She relayed several factual details and personal memories that only the man and his wife could possibly know of. This was especially evident from the amazed expression on his face in reaction to everything the medium was saying.
The deceased wife then admitted to being somewhat of a ‘firecracker’ during their 50-year marriage. She further confessed that towards the end of her life she had become especially difficult to deal with and said many hurtful things to him. She acknowledged that despite her unkind behavior he consistently remained patient with her and thanked him for his kindness and forbearance.
The man then confirmed that his late wife had suffered a series of mini-strokes that altered her mental state. She had also been prescribed medication that further affected her mood and behavior in a negative way. The wife then asked for his forgiveness and encouraged him to stop focusing so much on the negative memories of their final months together.
“She is asking you to please think more often of your special moments together,” said the medium.
Learning To Forgive
Accepting, letting go and forgiving is difficult, but necessary to thrive and live our best life. When we do not forgive, we carry toxic energy within that poisons us mind, body and soul.
Energetically non-forgiveness wreaks havoc in our chakras that can cause physical disease and mental illness. Our chakras store the energies of negative life events and experiences, if we do not release it, and heal those imbalances and blockages.
Forgiving does not mean we condone or exonerate the evil deeds of others, nor do we have to allow the people who have wronged us back into our life. This is seldom wise.
However, it is also not karmically smart to harbor resentment, seek vengeance, or wish others harm…for it will come back to us. Forgiveness is to surrender control and allowing karma to deal with those who wronged us.
When we forgive and release the trauma others have caused us, their choices and actions can no longer control us, nor steal our happiness, joy, and well-being. This is why forgiveness is the best gift we can give to ourselves.
Forgiveness does not set the wrongdoer free or exempt them from their karmic debt. Instead, we set ourselves free, so that their karmic choices no longer interfere with our energetic well-being and our divine right to manifest our best life. When we do not forgive and move on, it will continue to haunt us. It gradually infiltrates and contaminates every aspect of our life, and even causes us to attract more of the same unwanted experiences.