resentment
The True Power Of Words
What if a change as simple as the words you use could vastly improve your relationships with loved ones? And not just your choice of words, but also the tone and delivery. Healthy, successful relationships require constructive communication and often our relationships fail on our words alone.
Many people fall in love over time purely through conversations they have with each other. Relationships are usually ended with words alone, especially these days when getting unceremoniously dumped via text message is becoming increasingly common. Our choice of words and how we communicate them can evoke waves of joy and happiness, or they can cut like a knife.
We tend to take for granted the people in our lives. We become lazy and complacent and forget to express our gratitude and appreciation for the relationships we have with loved ones. It is vitally important that we adopt better, more spiritual ways to communicate with people who matter to us.
Have you ever stopped to think about the words you use with your loved ones? You most likely speak somewhat differently to total strangers. Or your choice of words is no longer what they used to when you were in love and the relationship was brand new. And how about the words we use when we talk to our children; are we uplifting and encouraging them, or causing them lifelong trauma?
Too often we say things we later wish we can take back. But if we always aim to think before we speak, and seek to choose the very best words, tone, and delivery, then we are much more likely to build the kind of relationships we desire and deserve.
Your Life Reflects Your Inner Being
Sometimes people have many issues with others in their life while they neglect to acknowledge that many of these problems are merely a mirror reflection of their inner being. This denial of personal responsibility is often the main cause of conflicts and drama in many people’s lives.
Everyone faces challenges in life. It is how these challenges are managed and released that gives one inner strength and peace. The answers are always within. But when we refuse to go within and face our inner truths, while instead venting our frustration, anger, envy, fear, and other pent-up negative emotions, it just brings so much more of the same crashing down on us.
That person you see with a huge smile on her face…her life is not necessarily all ‘sunshine and roses.’ Maybe she has just chosen to live with joy and gratitude in the present moment, instead of dwelling in the past or obsessing over the future. Maybe she has chosen to release that person or circumstance that had caused her pain or grief, and have chosen to move forward in her life with a knowing that bigger, better blessings are awaiting her on the other side of the pain.
The concept is simple, but the work is difficult. I am just as guilty of this human shortcoming as the next person. In my own life, I have also held onto things for so long that it stunted my spiritual, emotional, romantic, and financial growth. I held on to the resentment, bitterness, and vengeful thoughts, and it stunted me to the point that I found myself stuck in a very dark state of mind for a long, long time.
However, once I realized that both my psychic reading work and energy healing practice are absolutely dependent on clarity, love, compassion, and positive energy, I became determined to find ways to release the past and move forward, without any ill will towards another. Was it easy to find my way back to my inner truth and higher self? No, it was not. Was it worth the effort? Definitely!
My Past Life Nightmare In Hexham, England
My friends have a running joke that no event with me can ever be just a normal, everyday experience. Such was my notorious visit to Hexham, England.
I used to have a friend for many years who I knew to be kind and generous. She is a talented singer and we met while performing in a musical together. We were never close friends. Instead, we kept in contact and exchanged birthday presents, but rarely talked or saw each other in person.
At one point she was going through a difficult time. She had ended several friendships, was feeling lonely, had financial problems, and desperately hoped to meet a special guy. Then she invited me to take a special trip with her to Hexham, England. She owned an international timeshare and offered to use it for the two of us for our holiday accommodation in Hexham. Although we shared the costs, she also insisted on handling all the flight bookings, transportation and other arrangements. We had a very good relationship, so it never occurred to me that all of this might later become a major issue between us.
It was a long, 13-hour flight. When we arrived at the airport, sniffer dogs held back by airport employees ran up to us with rabid looks in their eyes. They were barking loudly; it was really terrifying. Neither one of us drank, used drugs, or had ever committed any crime. In fact, she is a devote Seventh Day Adventist. So, being targeted by security dogs was an out of the norm experience for us. The customs officials took us into a backroom and thoroughly searched our baggage. I have also never experienced this before. Of course, they found nothing. I was later informed that do not often receive American visitors in Hexham, so they were therefore instantly suspicious about us.
We then found a taxi and transferred to our timeshare accommodation. To make matters worse, our visit was during an outbreak in the area of Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE), also known as ‘mad cow disease.’ Everywhere we went our shoes and the wheels of the vehicles we travelled in had to be sanitized with some awful, toxic spray. Not a fun way to start a vacation.
Healing The Karmic Patterns Of Ancestral Trauma
Sometimes during meditation, I recall past events and childhood memories that had been long forgotten. A recent vision, for example, took me back to the home I was raised in. But the scene was one I do not remember.
I saw myself as a little girl, around three years old, and members of my mother’s family were visiting us. Everyone was singing and playing instruments together. I saw myself watching them and enjoying the music, but then felt guided to look diagonally upward to another scene happening simultaneously.
In the other scene I saw my ancestors; at least that is what I concurred because they were going back in a line. Behind my great grandmother, who was playing the piano, there were people who I sensed to be her parents, and then her grandparents behind them, and so on.
In that glimpse into the distant past, I observed how the behavioral patterns and family dynamics of our ancestors, some of it dysfunctional and unhealthy, had become the patterns of my family. I also saw how these patterns were passed on to me and how it has shaped the patterns in my life and my own family to this day.
I then invoked the Heavenly Light to wash over all of us: myself and my family, my living relatives, all my ancestors who came before us, as well as all of our future descendants. I prayed that all of the disharmony in my family lineage be healed, and also that any other families and individuals we had disharmonious interactions and relationships with be healed too.
In Hawaiian culture this kind of healing prayer is known as Ho’oponopono. It is an ancient spiritual practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, which in English literally translates to ‘to make right,’ or ‘to make good.’ Ho’oponopono is essentially a personal responsibility and forgiveness prayer or ritual to heal, among other things, feuding families and ancestral trauma. When practiced repeatedly, it is said to balance out karma. I do believe in praying for those who wronged or harmed us, because within their healing we find our own as well.
Transmuting Enemy Energy
Some clients ask for readings about people they think of as their enemies, and I’ve seen certain commonalities with this over the years. In these relationships there are typically an energy pattern that has formed to create a dynamic of mistrust, tension, and resentment.
One of the most prevalent issues I have noticed in terms of long-standing resentment or hatred towards another, is that both parties usually consider themselves the ‘victim,’ and that the other person is always in their mind the one who is in the wrong.
When you take it a level deeper, you usually find there was an initial intense or significant energy when these two people first met – be it a lover, friend, or work associate. It is usually a conflicting energy that sets the tone for their future ‘vibe’ with each other.
This initial energy has a resistance to it and eventually takes on a life of its own, separate from the two conflicting parties. Peel away the layers of this ‘enemy energy demon’ and you come to find it is essentially comprised of nothing more than simple fear.
Also, this enemy demon resists the idea of resolution and will not accept its own demise. It will do whatever it can to stay alive, and it feeds off the emotions anger, fear, and sadness. I believe this is what may be responsible for some suicides, violence, acts of terrorism, mass corruption, and others evil we see in the world.
There is never an excuse for violence. If someone is attacking or harming another person, safety and protection come first. Recovering from trauma is not typically something that happens quickly. However, when we are better informed about what is behind the behavior patterns of those who hate us, we can better see to the root of the disease.
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.