The Empowering Wisdom Of Forgiveness

Although I consider myself a very spiritual person, forgiveness has not always been one of my strengths. In fact, I used to struggle with forgiving those who had hurt or wronged me.

Fortunately, as I matured in my spiritual evolution, I eventually realized that by not letting go of negative events and experiences in my past, I was only being haunted and held captive by them, which was not serving my highest good.

For several years, I was stuck in a downward cycle of replaying certain past events in my mind, reliving every excruciating detail and allowing the past to negatively influence the present and my future. Over time, it became clear that this issue was holding me back in more ways than I could have imagined.

To find some answers, I decided to shift the focus of my spiritual practice for a few months to consult my guides on this issue. During this time, spirit guided me as follows.

Letting Go

To truly forgive, we must let go of the past. There is no true forgiveness if we still somehow hold on to the smallest regret or resentment. Forgiveness is all, or nothing. There are no half measures or gray areas.

Forgiveness is more than just an emotional healing process, it is also an empowering metaphysical practice. If we do not release something completely, we continue to hold some level of negative energy that continues to affect our current vibration, which diminishes our quality of life and negatively affects our future happiness.

A great way I have found to move on from past hurts is to write a letter to the person who caused them, releasing all my anger, pain and sense of injustice. Venting and expressing yourself in this way is very liberating and healing.

Forgiving isn’t something you do for someone else. It’s something you do for yourself. It’s saying, ‘You’re not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.’ It’s saying, ‘You don’t get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future’ ~ Jodi Picoult

Note, however, that I never actually send the letter to the person to whom it is addressed. Instead, I simply burn it in the flame of a red candle after reading it aloud to myself. I use a red candle because it symbolically represents intense, passionate emotions such as anger, courage, willpower, and determination. The flame symbolizes the release and transmutation of these powerful emotional energies.

A simple ritual like this helps to put the past behind you and begins the process of forgiveness in order to enjoy a more fulfilling, peaceful life.

Acknowledgement

It’s perfectly okay to acknowledge the pain that someone’s words and actions have caused us. After all, if we were to suppress or ignore it, the pain would just present itself to be dealt with later anyway.

After acknowledging our true feelings, however, we must process them and then let them go. Otherwise, we will continue to carry it with us into the future. If you are reluctant to release the pain, ask yourself how much longer you are willing to let their past words and actions hurt or upset you. The choice is truly yours.

True forgiveness can lead to better relationships, increased self-esteem, less depression, a stronger immune system, and a more harmonious, peaceful life. Isn’t all that worth choosing to forgive?

Presence

The best way to let go of the past is to live more with complete awareness and appreciation in the present moment. We should pay more attention to what is happening in our current environment, take one step at a time, and be grateful for what we have at this point in our lives.

You can’t forgive without loving. And I don’t mean sentimentality. I don’t mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, ‘I forgive. I’m finished with it’ ~ Maya Angelou

Self-empowerment

It must be said that forgiveness should not be confused with making excuses for the offender. It does, however, set us free from the influence or hold the offender once had over us. In other words, true forgiveness is a process of taking back your power. In many cases, it can also help us gain empathy, compassion, and a better understanding of others.

Contemplation

In order to truly forgive it is also wise to consider the possible reasons or motivations behind the wrongdoer’s actions. This does not mean that we should play devil’s advocate or make excuses for them. Far from it. However, people can hurt us for many different reasons, and although their words and actions may not be justified, they always have their own reasons for doing so.

For example, I once asked my husband why he thought my father was such a terrible spouse and parent. After all, there was no reason that I could see for him to engage in such extreme domestic violence and abuse as he did.

“Maybe you should consider that he did it because there was something wrong with him,” my husband replied.

Well, his words made me think. Yes, there must have been something wrong with his thinking, I thought. Otherwise, he would not have committed the atrocities he did? But does that mean I should forgive him? My guides then advised me that I indeed needed to forgive him for my own sake.

While I would not describe myself as a vengeful person in the least, I clearly remember the first time in my adult life that I truly learned the art of forgiveness. It was the Saturday morning before my son’s second birthday. He was playing on the bed with his father and me when the phone rang and my brother told me that my father had died of a fatal heart attack in the early hours of the morning.

Though I was unaware of it at the time, that simple act of forgiveness was the beginning of an entirely new level of experiencing life for me ~ Wayne Dyer

Apparently my father knew something was wrong because he had managed to take the top off the bottle of his heart medication, but unfortunately died with the medication still in his hand.

When I told a friend that my father had died quickly and essentially without pain, she replied: “At least he did not die in fear and pain. You wouldn’t want that to happen to anyone, would you, even him?”

“Absolutely not,” I replied. Indeed, not even to him.

A few months after my father’s death, I attended a mediumship event with another friend. At the very end of the evening, the medium turned directly to me, looked me straight in the eye and said, “There’s a panicked man here named Jim or Jimmy (my late father’s name) who died of a heart attack. Do you know him?”

The medium then smiled and said that my father’s spirit understood that I had no real desire to make contact him, but he still wanted to thank me for my forgiveness.

His soul is now at peace. And so is mine.