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Empaths Need Firm Psychosocial Boundaries
Psychosocial balance is tricky for the empath. It requires managing expectations, checking our reactions and emotions, and most especially setting boundaries. Because it is so easy for us to link into the feelings and emotions of those around us, empaths often forget that others may not respond in kind.
For the empath it’s all about balancing your intuitive gifts with your expectations, and finally your responses. Work, friendships, relationships, all the things that encompass our daily lives, require vigilance to ensure that balance is maintained, or chaos will ensue.
For the Type A empath, jobs, friendships and relationships can end very abruptly with major repercussions. The more assertive empath tends to have the motto of “do unto others before they do unto you.” They will leave a job, a relationship or a friendship at the drop of a hat. The more subdued, timid empath tends to stay in miserable job situations, one-sided friendships, and sometimes downright abusive intimate relationships.
At work especially it is very important for all empaths to remember that there is almost always going to be some personality clashes. Others do not always view us favorably. Remember that you are there to do a job – your job. Staying focused on your work, the requirements of that job and your performance is your primary responsibility. Confronting someone, especially a superior, with “what’s your problem, I know you don’t like me” is counterproductive. Similarly the typical response of the introverted empath to quit, or at least never address any issues, is also futile.
Yes, it can be gut-wrenching or infuriating for empaths to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that a co-worker or boss doesn’t care for them, or has it out for them, but utilize your gift! As an empath you can read the feelings and intentions of others. This gives you a map to the personalities you are dealing with. Use that information to moderate your own responses to the situation and the individuals you are dealing with in your professional environment.
Eye Gazing As A Spiritual Practice
Eye gazing is a powerful, ancient practice in which two people engage in a shared meditation practice during which eye contact is maintained for an extended period of time. Eye gazing is usually done for about ten minutes at a time, although it can certainly be any duration preferred.
Eye gazing can be used to access past life information, promote healing, connect to your higher self, guides, or angels, and almost anything else you can imagine. The eyes are the windows to our soul, and our soul is the singularity that connects us to everything else: the Universe, Source, God, the Divine. Eye gazing is also a profound manifesting tool we can use to further develop our ‘spiritual muscles,’ so to speak.
Before you include eye gazing in your spiritual practice, I recommend you read my previous blog on the essentials of eye gazing. Once you are more familiar with the basics, you can also apply the following guidelines to your eye gazing practice.
To use eye gazing for a specific purpose, you must set a clear intention beforehand, and then hold that intention throughout the gaze. You hold an intention by simply keeping a gentle awareness in the back of your mind that what you are seeing during the gaze is relevant to your intention, and trusting that whatever comes forward is always relevant.
It’s important not to simultaneously hold any expectations about what you’re going to see, or to resist anything that comes up spontaneously, just because you don’t immediately see its relevance or connection to your intention. Keep an open mind and be flexible and accepting in the flow of your gazing experience.
If you’re gazing alone, sit comfortably in front of a mirror, take a few centering breaths, and then state your intention out loud. I prefer to speak aloud in my spiritual practice whenever possible, as words are energy forms and therefore add a ‘weight’ to our prayer requests, intentions, and affirmations. State your intention out loud and ask Spirit to provide insight around this intention. Use language that feels right for you.
Dating A Married Man
The subject of dating married men and being ‘the other women’ is something that for obvious reasons is seldom talked about. But I feel it might be healthy and necessary to discuss this more openly, as it is a much more complex issue than is often realized.
For example, many women who become involved with married men do not always know initially that he is married. In my experience, helping many female clients over the years in this predicament, many woman get into it by default after being misled by the man, only to find out later that he is married and has no plan of ever leaving his wife.
I could write a book on all the reasons why married men do not leave their wives. But instead, I think it is more important to focus on why so many women continue these affairs, once they find out he is married.
Now, you would think the empowered, modern woman of today would not put up with such a situation, but they do. I find these women are often so much in love and hopeful for what might be someday, that they convince themselves their situation is unique or different, and that he is unique or different. The truth is usually quite the opposite.
How to break free from this dead-end situationship? It can be challenging for sure, but certainly possible. I believe the key is self-love and self-worth. It requires the courage to step forward and say, “I deserve more.’
If you are caught up in a relationship with a married man, know that is seldom ends well for any of the parties involved. The chances that the outcome of your situation will be the exception to the rule is most unlikely. Stay true to your highest good and make the necessary changes for your future happiness.
Are You Married To A Cheater?
Are you married to a man who you think might be a cheater? It is more common than one might think. The bulk of my calls are about just this question: is he cheating?
Usually, if a client is asking this question, they already know the answer. They simply need either confirmation, or clarification. Their intuition is telling them something is going on. Often there are also many clues.
However, many callers still do not want to believe it is true, when I see that their partner is indeed being unfaithful to them. Some continue to ignore the signs and live in denial it until everything eventually comes to a head and they finally have to face it.
What to do if you think your husband is cheating? Question him by being open, direct and honest. Get the answers you need.tru
If he is not forthcoming, find other ways to uncover the truth and piece things together. Get a psychic reading. Hire a private detective. Check his credit card statements and chat messages. You have a right to know the truth
If you find out that he has been cheating, then seek counselling first, before making any major decisions or drastic changes. First find out exactly what kind of situation you are in and if and how it can be fixed, or not.
Getting to the core and extent of the problem in a sensible, calm manner is usually the best first step. Don’t allow his bad choices to turn your entire life upside down.
I remember a client who gave everything to her marriage, while her husband was cheating. She was suspicious, but never followed her gut. It all came crashing down when he arrived home one day and dropped the bomb that the other woman he was having an affair with was now pregnant with his child. This was an unbearable shock, as my client was unable to have children.
Neglecting Your Own Needs Will Destroy Your Relationship
Some people are in really toxic relationships without realizing it. How do you know for sure if you are in a bad relationship? Well, often it is as simple as asking yourself a few basic questions.
Am I safe? Am I truly happy? Do I feel loved and supported? Are my most important needs being met? If you answer no to any of these, you may need to reassess your relationship.
Some people get caught in a dead-end relationship trap. They feel trapped and do not know how to get out of a bad situation. It can be very hard to leave someone you love. But sometimes that is what me must do in order to love ourselves.
A leading cause of failing relationships is often a lack of open, honest communication about our hopes, dreams, fears, and needs. It is very hard sometimes to bring up a subject that is uncomfortable, but remember that you deserve to be happy. It does not serve anyone to put your own needs last.
Self-worth also plays a major role. Do not put your own needs aside because you fear you cannot do better. Stay true to what is most important to you and ask for what you want!
If your current partner cannot meet your needs or refuses to respect your wishes, maybe your future does not align with theirs. Finding the right person is really what you need to do to be true to you and who you are.
Healing From A Relationship Breakup
All breakups are painful. There really is no quick fix to heal a broken heart. But there are some things one can do to gradually move on and begin a new journey without your ex-partner.
The first thing to do is to accept the reality of the situation. It is not going to do any good to dwell on the past or try to work things out at this point. In this early stage of grieving, it is usually not a good idea to speak to your ex at all. It will simply prolong the pain.
At times you might be tempted to reach out to your ex, but listen to what your heart and soul is telling you. Trust your gut. It will never steer you wrong.
You may also want to avoid reminders of your ex and your relationship. No need to put any more stress or pressure on yourself than you have to. It is best to accept what is and move on.
The most important thing now is to put yourself first and be true to you. Now is the time to come to grips with your feelings. Don’t hold back if you want to cry and let it out.
We are always trying to look for answers as to why something happened. Many times, we blame ourselves, thinking that things may have been different if we would have done more. We put ourselves through so much unnecessary guilt sometimes. It is unfair and pointless to do that to ourselves and not the best path to healing. Seek forgiveness for your ex and yourself.
A healthy lifestyle is important in times of grief. Exercise is especially beneficial. It makes you feel more in control of yourself and increases ‘feel good’ hormones like dopamine that will reduce depression.
Keeping Score In A Relationship
I believe the habit of keeping a ‘score card’ might start in someone’s childhood. It is based on developing a certain sense of duty and responsibility early on. For example, as kids I remember my sister and I had to take turns doing the dishes. My sister would always keep tabs on that chore. She always knew whose turn it was next. My sister is four years older than me, and to this day she still keeps score on almost everything in her life.
This also set the precedent for me with friends and other family members. Others keeping score just seems natural to me, so I never feel the need to do so myself.
This did not server me well in all aspects of my young adult life. For example, in relationships it always felt like I was the one trying to make things work. It did not make any difference to me who called who last. Therefore, I ended up doing most of the calling. But does it truly matter that much?
What has the other person done for me? After all I have done and given so much! What do I get out of this relationship? These are the questions score keepers are always asking themselves.
But in my view, a relationship is never 50/50, even if both people are truly happy and fulfilled. One will always be doing less or more. But it does not matter, as true love is supposed to be unconditional.
So, if you are keeping a score card things will never balance and the emotion that will come up is anger, rebellion, defensiveness, or a complete shut-down. That does not serve any relationship in the long run.