partnership
What Comes First: Friendship Or Romance?
Is it really necessary to build a solid foundation of friendship when you already have a gut feeling that the person you just met might be “the one”?
This is a question I sometimes get from clients seeking a love or relationship reading. They want to know whether they should focus on building a friendship first if they feel that their relationship has the potential to lead to a long-term commitment or marriage.
The answer can vary depending on the people involved and the unique dynamics of their relationship.
While there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, building a friendship can provide a stable foundation for the deeper layers of a romantic relationship. Friendship helps create a space where mutual respect, understanding, and shared values can flourish – qualities that are crucial to a lasting partnership.
I find many folks jump into a relationship with both feet, convinced they’ve found their true soulmate, only to be disappointed later.
Developing a strong friendship with your partner can be incredibly beneficial. It allows you to get to know each other on a deeper level without the pressure or distractions that often come with romantic and physical intimacy. In a friendship, you’re more likely to feel comfortable being your authentic self. This authenticity can lead to a stronger emotional connection, which can then become the foundation for a more serious romantic connection.
Tarot Forecast September 2024: Two Of Cups
The card that came up for this month is the Two of Cups, which carries the symbolism of connection, balance, harmony, mutual affection, and partnership.
In the Rider-Waite Tarot deck, this card depicts a couple standing face to face, each holding a golden cup in one hand. They extend their cups toward each other as if in a toast or exchange, symbolizing a mutual offering of affection, love, support, or a celebration of their shared success. Their gaze is locked, indicating a deep connection and understanding between them.
Above their heads is a caduceus, the ancient symbol of healing, two serpents intertwined, representing their powerful union and the personal and spiritual healing they find with each other. At the top is a winged lion’s head, symbolizing spiritual strength and divine protection in the sacred union of their souls.
The core meaning of this card is the coming together of two individuals. This can be romantic, platonic, or business-related. The emphasis is on mutual respect, harmony, understanding, and a balanced give and take.
The cups also represent emotion. It’s a card of deep emotional intimacy, connection, and a harmonious union based on mutual respect and love. This card often signifies the beginning of a new chapter in a partnership or committed relationship, full of potential and growth.
As we enter this new month, the energy of the Two of Cups will take center stage, guiding us through various aspects of life with themes of harmony, emotional connection and mutual understanding.
True Love Is Never-Ending
I love you. I love you, and you, and you! No matter what happened yesterday. No matter what was said, what was done, how we hurt one another, I still love you.
Three simple words. Really, love shouldn’t be so hard. Since my childhood my goal in life was always to show love. Before money, before “common sense”, before logical reasoning of life, my heart always took the lead. Believe me, this trait has led to much criticism over the years. Many people have considered me eccentric, crazy, even downright stupid. Yet, throughout the years, I learned to like myself and to accept others.
Perhaps I’m not the wealthiest woman in the world, with diamonds dripping off my neck. Perhaps I give away more than I keep. Yet, each night I go to sleep soundly, liking who I am. I can dance in the moonlight with the fairies under the kisses of Venus, with Lady Moon shining her soft glowing light through the country rural trees, the shadows of leaving dancing around creating the sense of those long gone flitting in and out of the corners of our eyes.
The answer is love.
Today is a new day, where spirit sends to me more people to love. It’s just that easy. I simply let the problems and failed actions of yesterday go, remembering the lessons I had to learn in how to treat others. We are all human who make mistakes in how we express ourselves, in how we react, but we can always choose restore the love. All we need is unconditional love, and forgiveness.
For many of us there is the constant hope of one day meeting a life partner who ‘gets’ us, with all our flaws, all our doubts, all our insecurities. This task of finding just the right one is not easy. Some seek advice from us seers, who give answers, but sometimes the bottom falls out. One of us, or both of us do something really stupid, and the love ends. This is what we believe. But love doesn’t end.
Keeping Score In A Relationship
I believe the habit of keeping a ‘score card’ might start in someone’s childhood. It is based on developing a certain sense of duty and responsibility early on. For example, as kids I remember my sister and I had to take turns doing the dishes. My sister would always keep tabs on that chore. She always knew whose turn it was next. My sister is four years older than me, and to this day she still keeps score on almost everything in her life.
This also set the precedent for me with friends and other family members. Others keeping score just seems natural to me, so I never feel the need to do so myself.
This did not server me well in all aspects of my young adult life. For example, in relationships it always felt like I was the one trying to make things work. It did not make any difference to me who called who last. Therefore, I ended up doing most of the calling. But does it truly matter that much?
What has the other person done for me? After all I have done and given so much! What do I get out of this relationship? These are the questions score keepers are always asking themselves.
But in my view, a relationship is never 50/50, even if both people are truly happy and fulfilled. One will always be doing less or more. But it does not matter, as true love is supposed to be unconditional.
So, if you are keeping a score card things will never balance and the emotion that will come up is anger, rebellion, defensiveness, or a complete shut-down. That does not serve any relationship in the long run.
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.