Why do people get stuck in bad or even toxic relationships? Over the years, I have done psychic readings for hundreds of people who were stuck or felt trapped in relationships that were not in their best interest.

In these readings, I often find that people who stay in dead-end, toxic relationships are not only energetically stuck in a rut, they often lack intuitive self-awareness and are actually resisting and blocking their own personal and spiritual growth. And often the main reason they stay is because they somehow feel they have a “special connection” to someone, or believe their partner is “the one.”

Many of us have experienced this intense feeling of connection with someone. In some cases, it may well be a spiritual connection from a past life, or based on a soul contract for karmic reasons. But there are many other mundane and possible psychological reasons why we might feel a strong initial connection to someone.

Feeling a strong or profound attraction to someone, or sensing a deep, special connection, can be a mysterious experience that often seems to defy rational explanation. These feelings can be rooted in a combination of spiritual, psychological, biological, and environmental factors, as well as personal experiences and beliefs.

The Everyday Origins Of Attraction

Here are some possible physical causes or ordinary reasons for these kinds of intense, seemingly mystical connections:

Biological Factors: Physical attraction can be triggered by biological cues that signal genetic compatibility or fertility, such as certain physical characteristics or pheromones-chemical signals that affect human behavior on a subconscious level.

Psychological Compatibility: Our subconscious mind can recognize someone as compatible with us in terms of personality, values, and life goals. This recognition is often based on unconscious observations or processes that we are not immediately aware of and can manifest as a very strong, immediate attraction or sense of connection. In addition, the perception of connection or attraction may evolve over time as we gather more information about the other person and ourselves.

Traits & Qualities: Recognizing personality traits and qualities in another that we aspire to or lack ourselves can create a strong sense of attraction. These can be intellectual abilities, emotional strengths, talents, physical attributes, and so on.

Emotional Resonance: A person can mirror or validate our emotions in a way that makes us feel deeply understood and connected. This emotional resonance can create a deep sense of intimacy and mutual attraction.

Familiarity: We are often attracted to people who consciously or unconsciously remind us of someone we have loved in the past, such as a parent or former partner. This may be due to appearance, mannerisms, or emotional dynamics.

Mystery and Novelty: Sometimes the appeal of someone lies in their mystery or the novelty they bring to our lives. The excitement of exploring the unknown can manifest as a deep attraction.

Shared Experiences: Going through intense experiences, hardships or life challenges together can create deep connections. The vulnerability and mutual support involved in such situations can enhance the sense of a special bond.

The reasons for attraction and connection are always multifaceted and vary greatly from situation to situation. Ultimately, it comes down to the ineffable concept of “chemistry” – the catch-all term often used to describe the complex interplay of emotional, biological, and cognitive factors that lead to the feeling of a special connection with someone.

The Spiritual Origins Of Connection

In addition to psychological, biological, and environmental factors, various spiritual and metaphysical causes may underlie the deep connections and attractions we sometimes feel toward others. These causes often touch on the nature of human existence, the soul’s journey, and the interconnectedness of all beings, reflecting a more holistic or transcendent understanding of human relationships.

The foundation of all forms of mystical attraction and spiritual connection between people is based on soul contracts. Before we incarnate, our souls make agreements to meet and interact in the physical realm to support each other’s growth, healing and evolution. These pre-determined soul connections manifest as strong attractions or significant relationships in our human lives.

The universe orchestrates these soul meetings at precisely the right time for their highest good. This is called “divine timing.” This is another reason why we feel such a profound connection when we meet this person, because it is the manifestation of this perfect sacred timing, precisely aligned with our soul’s journey and evolution.

Some of the ways soul contract connections manifest in our physical lives include:

Energetic Resonance: On an energetic level, each person radiates a unique vibrational frequency. We often feel a strong attraction to someone whose energy strongly resonates or harmonizes with our own, facilitating a sense of connection and mutual attraction.

Past life Connections: Our souls travel together through different lifetimes. A strong, inexplicable attraction or connection is sometimes due to a recognition between souls who have interacted in past lives or are from the same soul family or group, often carrying forward unresolved issues or the continuation of a previous bond.

Spiritual Catalysts: Sometimes a person enters our lives at a moment of potential spiritual awakening or growth. The connection with this person usually serves as a catalyst for profound personal transformation, spiritual awakening, or expansion of consciousness. These are typically relationships that happen for a specific reason, not for a season or a lifetime.

Karmic History: Karmic connections formed through the laws of karma, where past actions influence current relationships. A karmic relationship serves to balance past interactions and provides opportunities for growth, learning, and resolution of old patterns. Karmic soul contracts are about who owes what to whom. It is about righting past wrongs or returning to balance.

Soulmates: Some souls are inherently connected across time and space, destined to meet and influence each other’s lives in significant ways. This connection is typically a deep sense of familiarity, comfort, and understanding when meeting someone for the first time.

Twin Flames: Unlike soulmates, twin flames are two halves of the same soul that split and incarnate in separate lives. Meeting a twin flame can evoke an intense, transformative connection designed to accelerate spiritual awakening and evolution.

While these strong spiritual connections and attractions are usually unmistakable and will always resonate deeply with us, they are often also misinterpreted or misapplied.

For example, over the years I have had clients who have had a “spiritual catalyst” cross their path to show them a new direction in life or offer them a new personal insight, but instead of simply accepting this gift and moving on, they continued instead to pursue this person as their “soulmate” or “twin flame,” with disastrous results. I have also worked with people who were convinced that they were in a soulmate or twin flame relationship, when in fact they were trapped in a very damaging and toxic relationship, in some cases involving intense intense emotional abuse and even physical violence.

Attraction Strategies Of Dark Personalities

How do people get into these situations? While each scenario is due to a unique set of factors and circumstances, one of the most common causes I have noticed over the years is an initial fatal attraction to “dark personalities” such as narcissists and psychopaths, who use sophisticated and manipulative strategies to attract romantic partners. Their tactics can be very appealing at first, making it difficult to see their true nature until deeper into the relationship.

Here are some common strategies these types of people may use:

Charisma: Narcissists often exude an alluring charm and confidence that can be very attractive. They may present themselves as highly accomplished or uniquely talented in order to draw others to them. Psychopaths can also be exceptionally charismatic and persuasive, making grandiose gestures and promises to captivate their potential partners.

Love Bombing: Narcissists are known for “love bombing,” showering their targets with excessive affection, compliments, gifts, and attention to quickly win their affection and loyalty. Psychopaths may use similar tactics, quickly creating an intense emotional connection to bind their partner to them.

Mirroring: Narcissists and psychopaths may mirror their targets’ beliefs, interests, and behaviors to create an illusion of compatibility and understanding. This creates a false sense of soul-mate connection.

Manipulation: Narcissists may manipulate emotions to elicit sympathy or admiration, often by portraying themselves as victims of past injustices or boasting about their “unique” challenges. Psychopaths may manipulate emotional situations to their advantage, demonstrating a calculated understanding of human emotions without actually experiencing them deeply.

Isolation: Both may subtly isolate their partners from friends and family, making them feel that the relationship is “us against the world. This dependency makes it difficult for the partner to seek help or perspective from others.

Gaslighting: They may use gaslighting, a form of psychological manipulation in which the victim is made to question their own reality, memories, or perceptions, making them more dependent on the abuser for their version of reality.

Triangulation: Introducing another person into the dynamics of the relationship, whether real or fabricated, to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity in the partner. This increases the perceived worth of the narcissist or psychopath.

Future Faking: They make wonderful promises about a future together that they have no intention of keeping. This creates a sense of hope and expectation in the other person, which makes them more committed to the relationship. You will do yourself a great favor by looking at who your partner is now, in the present, and in the past, and not placing all your hopes in what you hope they will become in the future.

Intermittent Reinforcement: The unpredictable giving and withholding of affection and approval creates a psychological addiction to the relationship. It is essentially a “love drug” or “happiness elixir” that you keep feeding your partner to keep them hooked. Over time, the partner becomes conditioned to endure negative treatment for occasional affection or attention.

Exploitation: They may exploit their partner emotionally, financially, or sexually for personal gain, often without remorse or concern for their partner’s well-being.

Understanding these strategies is critical to recognizing potentially harmful patterns, codependencies and abuse in a toxic relationship. If you or someone you know may be involved with someone who exhibits some of these behaviors, it is important to seek support from friends, family, or professionals for guidance and protection.

The bottomline? Feeling a strong or profound attraction to someone, or sensing a deep, special connection is not always due to a soul contract or spiritual encounter that defies rational explanation, as mysterious or magical as it may seem at the time. Sometimes we simply meet very manipulative, damaged, and even dangerous people. Unfortunately, many people ignore the red flags all too often.

Recognizing Authentic Soul Connections

Sometimes our logic goes out the window when we let our biology and emotions guide us. Recognizing a true, authentic spiritual connection with someone, as opposed to a false, dysfunctional relationship that is potentially toxic or abusive, requires keen discernment and self-awareness. The best approach is to combine logic, reason, and life experience with intuition and spiritual awareness to gain deeper insight and recognize truly authentic spiritual connections.

To do this, you must be attuned to your inner being, for if you do not truly know or connect with yourself, you will obviously have difficulty accurately assessing your connection to another person. This is why self-care and spiritual practice are so often recommended by reputable psychics and mediums, as well as holistic psychotherapists.

Here are some ways to recognize authentic spiritual connections and healthy relationships through a more balanced lens:

Intuitive Recognition: There may be an immediate sense of familiarity or recognition, as if your souls have known each other before. This may manifest as an inexplicable attraction to the person or a deep, immediate comfort with them. Your intuition tells you that the connection is right. You feel a sense of inner peace and certainty about the relationship, free from doubt, fear, or constant second-guessing.

Unconditional Love: The love felt in these relationships is unconditional and transcends the limitations of the ego. It is not based on fulfilling selfish needs, but on mutual growth, support, and understanding.

Energetic Resonance: You feel a harmonious exchange of energy with the person. This isn’t just physical attraction, but a sense of energetic alignment that feels healing and enriching to your own energy field. In their presence, you may feel a profound sense of completeness or wholeness. This isn’t about dependency, but a recognition that the connection brings you closer to your true self and the universe.

Mutual Respect: In an authentic spiritual connection, both parties have a deep respect for each other’s thoughts, feelings, boundaries, and personal growth. There is no attempt to control or dominate the other. You can communicate openly and honestly with each other without fear of judgment or retaliation. Both people feel heard and understood.

Reciprocal Support: There is a deep sense of mutual empathy and emotional support. Each person is genuinely interested in the other’s well-being and offers comfort and understanding during difficult times. The relationship is not one-sided. There is a balance of giving and receiving care, attention, and affection. Both people contribute equally to the health and growth of the relationship.

Personal Growth: A true spiritual connection promotes personal growth and self-improvement. Being with this person inspires you to be the best version of yourself without feeling pressured or inadequate. There is a healthy degree of independence. Both people are free to pursue their interests, friendships, and personal growth without possessiveness or jealousy.

Conflict Resolution: Your interactions are characterized by a deep sense of peace and comfort. Being with this person feels like “coming home,” and there’s an ease to your connection that feels natural and unforced. Disagreements and conflicts are resolved in a healthy, constructive and non-toxic way. There is no demeaning, name calling, manipulation, gaslighting, or violence. Instead, there’s an effort to understand each other’s perspectives and reach a compromise.

Synchronicities: Look for meaningful coincidences or synchronicities that occur when you are with or thinking about this person. These may indicate a deeper, underlying spiritual connection orchestrated by the universe. You may also experience shared dreams, telepathic communication, or intuitively sense each other’s thoughts and feelings without verbal communication. These phenomena suggest a deep, spiritual connection. Be sure they are real and not just another form of manipulation invented by your partner.

Past Life Memories: You both have memories of past life encounters with each other. You may have flashes of memory or a strong sense of history with the person that can’t be explained by your current life experiences.

Spiritual Growth: Meeting or being with this person can trigger a spiritual awakening or a significant shift in your consciousness. They may introduce you to new spiritual concepts or practices that profoundly change your perspective on life. An authentic spiritual connection often pushes you toward soul growth and evolution. The relationship challenges and inspires you to reach your highest spiritual potential and fulfill your soul purpose.

Shared Purpose: While not necessarily identical, you have overlapping values, beliefs, and goals that strengthen your bond. These shared aspects foster a sense of unity and purpose in the relationship. You may also discover that you share a similar spiritual mission or purpose and feel called to work together on projects or initiatives that contribute to the greater good or spiritual evolution of humanity.

Recognizing these aspects of true spiritual love or sacred romance requires mindfulness and attunement to your own intuition and higher consciousness. While these signs can indicate a deep and authentic spiritual connection, it’s also important to maintain discernment and ensure that the relationship is balanced, respectful, and nurturing on all levels. Don’t rush into a relationship. Work on yourself. Feel yourself, know yourself, love yourself.

The Questions You Should Always Ask

If all else fails and you still wonder if you are with “the right one,” then simply ask yourself these very basic, yet important questions:

Do I feel respected? – It’s crucial that your partner respects you, your choices, beliefs, and boundaries.

Do we communicate openly and honestly? – Good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship.

Do I feel supported in my personal goals? – A partner should encourage and back your aspirations and personal projects.

Are my emotional needs being met? – Feeling emotionally connected and fulfilled is essential.

Do we resolve conflicts constructively? – How you handle disagreements can strengthen or weaken your bond.

Do I trust my partner? – Trust is a cornerstone of any relationship.

Am I happy with our intimacy levels? – Physical and emotional intimacy should be satisfying for both of you.

Do we share common values and goals? – Alignment in key life areas can support a lasting relationship.

Do I feel able to be my true self? – Being authentic without fear of judgment is important.

Are we both contributing to the relationship? – It’s important that both partners invest in the relationship equally.

Do I feel safe expressing my thoughts and feelings? – Feeling safe to share your inner world is crucial.

Do we spend quality time together? – Quality time strengthens your connection.

Do we give each other enough space? – Independence and personal space are essential for a healthy relationship.

Are we both willing to compromise? – Compromise is key in navigating differences.

Do I feel respected by my partner’s friends and family? – The attitudes of close ones can affect your relationship.

Do we handle finances in a way that feels fair? – Financial stress can strain relationships, so it’s important to have a plan that works for both.

Do I feel listened to? – Feeling heard is fundamental to feeling loved and valued.

Are we able to laugh and have fun together? – Joy and laughter can greatly strengthen your bond.

Do we support each other during tough times? – Being there for each other in difficult times is crucial.

Do I look forward to our future together? – A sense of shared excitement about the future can keep a relationship strong.

Take some time to explore the above questions. Remember to be honest with yourself!

Yes, even in true spiritual connections, no relationship is perfect. Challenges and disagreements are normal, but how you handle them can separate a healthy, authentic connection from a fake or toxic one. Trust your instincts, prioritize mutual respect and empathy, and seek relationships that uplift and support your personal well-being and spiritual journey.

I also sometimes find that some of my clients hold on to relationships simply because they fear that they will not find another and that this is all they will ever get. This is all too often a belief on a very unconscious level. I have so often helped clients realize that they are really just clinging to what they hope this person will become, not who they really are. This is a very powerful breakthrough for many and can be very liberating once accepted.

Psychic Readings For Relationship Insight

Gaining clarity in a relationship that leaves you feeling confused or uncertain can be a challenging process. When your own means of understanding and communication seem inadequate, a good alternative is to consult a reputable psychic or medium for deeper insights.

A psychic reading can offer a different perspective on your relationship, possibly revealing underlying dynamics or future possibilities that you may not have considered. A gifted love psychic can tune into your energy and the energy surrounding your relationship, and offer insights into whether current challenges are temporary periods of growth or indicative of deeper incompatibilities.

Sometimes the value of a psychic reading lies in its ability to point out recurring patterns in your relationships. Recognizing these can help you understand lessons that need to be learned, potentially leading to healthier relationship choices in the future.

While a psychic can offer insights and point out possible paths, it’s important to remember that the decision to stay in or leave a relationship is always yours. A psychic reading can illuminate options, but it should complement rather than replace your judgment and feelings. Psychic relationship readings can offer valuable insights, but it is important to integrate them with your intuition and personal judgment. Consider the advice given, but also trust your feelings and experiences. The path to understanding your relationship and finding a true life partner is deeply personal and requires a balance of external guidance and inner wisdom.

The Importance Of Self-Awareness

A true life partner should complement your journey of self-discovery and personal growth. Being honest with yourself allows you to be open to a relationship that truly resonates with your values, desires and spirit. It sets a standard that will help you attract a partner who respects and values you for who you are.

Being honest with yourself about your feelings, needs, and the reality of your relationship is what is most crucial. Self-deception and denying your inner truth can lead to prolonged unhappiness and ultimately even destroy your soul. Acknowledging the truth, even when it’s painful, is the first step toward resolution and healing your broken heart.

The journey to finding a true life partner often involves significant personal growth. Love yourself enough to prioritize your well-being, happiness, and development. This self-love is the foundation upon which healthy relationships are built. Ultimately, the journey is not just about seeking answers from others, but about cultivating a deep connection with your inner self. This connection enables you to navigate relationships with clarity, purpose, and authenticity, paving the way for meaningful and fulfilling connections.

If you keep asking psychics if he will change, the likely answer is: No, he will not! It is important to know when it is best to walk away. Trust your inner guidance. Ask yourself if this relationship is truly spiritual and serving your highest good. All relationships are meant to serve our highest good, and all are ultimately meant for our positive growth, joy and fulfillment. Without this, they have no spiritual basis or purpose and are therefore not meant to be.