life lessons
It Just Happened
Too often people justify their poor judgment and bad choices with feeble excuses like, “It just happened.” But we all know that this is seldom the truth. The reality is that every step in our life is a choice. Whether we step forward, sideways, backwards, or stand still, it is a choice. And we should take personal responsibility for our life choices.
In everyday life we do not think much about where our steps may be leading us. We are typically just walking automatically in some direction. Many people simply live by trial and error.
However, when things go bad for us, it is usually because we have subconsciously, or even consciously, made the choice to move in a certain direction – a direction that we intuitively knew was not serving our highest good. And sadly, many times these bad choices also severely affect others.
For example, a friend of mine, who has only been married for one year, currently remains geographically separated from her husband, until she gets her immigration paperwork to be able to join him legally in his country. They had a beautiful wedding, and made the usual promises: to love and cherish, be faithful, in sickness and health, until death do them part.
Despite their long-distance marriage, they were doing everything right during the waiting period – or so it seemed. They called each other daily on the phone, and also talked on video chat. They constantly texted loving messages. He was originally also able to come and visit her here in Canada, but she could not cross the border to see him. However, when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, he was also denied entry. They had no further choice but to wait it out.
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
Manifesting – Does The Outcome Justify The Intention?
You probably know by now, from your personal experiences, that the metaphysical process of manifestation is not always cut-and-dried. Sometimes the results are disappointing, while at other times it truly is a matter of ‘careful what you wish for.’ One aspect of deliberate creating that I never before anticipated, was that it might bring up a personal moral dilemma! Let me explain.
When I was 11 years old, it was discovered that I needed glasses for better eyesight. Like any other normal child, I certainly was not happy about the situation. However, I was smart enough to recognize that it would make seeing the teacher’s writing on the school blackboard much easier, as well as enable me to recognize people and appreciate beautiful sights more readily.
So, I had no choice, but to put up with wearing those awful eyeglasses until I turned 16. It was at that time I started to work and earning my own money, which gave me the ability to make some important decisions for myself and determine what I could purchase on my own behalf.
A lot of people were beginning to wear tinted contact lenses at that time, so I decided I would also get on the bandwagon. Soon, I was exceptionally proud to transform my ordinary hazel eyes into an appealing vibrant green! However, the lenses on the market then were not as easy to wear as they are today. They were very inflexible and abrasive on the eyes and, even while being meticulous with its care, still very easy to tear.
I kept up with this struggle of constantly switching back and forth between lenses and eyeglasses, until many years later when I developed hypoglycemia. One of the side effects of this ailment is extremely dry eyes, and so my contact lens days were pretty much over. I simply gave up the idea and continued with regular eyeglasses for many years after.