Love & Relationships
Let Us Not Wait Until It’s Too Late
In a deep meditative state, I was contemplating how people are doing things differently because of the current state of affairs with the Covid-19 pandemic. Most are being highly cautious to prevent the spread of the new coronavirus. They are wearing masks, staying at home and doing various things to bolster their well-being and immunity.
The response is typically similar when there is a diagnosis of a serious illness, such diabetes, heart disease or cancer. The afflicted person often immediately makes changes to their lifestyle, for example changing their diet and eating healthier foods.
When there is a war, or a crime wave, or a terrorist attack, people become more vigilant and practice better safety precautions, while having a greater awareness of their surroundings, also known as situational awareness.
I was reading for somebody recently, who lives in a condo community. She described how none of her neighbors ever spoke to her, although she went out of her way to always be friendly and talk to others. Apparently, they were often very short with her.
But then many of the residents became victims to criminal activity, such as delivered packages stolen from their door. Suddenly, she noticed, more of her neighbors started to talk to each other, and more of them wanted to be friendly with her. In fact, they even started to meet in the park, to talk and discuss the safety of their shared living community.
Now Is The Time To Invest In Yourself
Throughout our childhood, we receive advice from family and teachers on how we should succeed in life. Study hard. Get good grades. Go to college for a quality career. Get married and have a family. Buy the dream home. Financial success and prosperity. Provide for your family. Send your kids to college. Become proud grandparents.
In reality, our real life experiences can throw us major curve balls, and impact what we envision as our dream future. In the same vein, life experiences create magnificent opportunities. Well-meaning guidance and suggestions from family and friends is beneficial. It is to be part of our consideration. It can give us goals, and affirm what we know about ourselves.
Careers can include being of service. A social worker, doctor, nurse, lawyer, first-responder, accountant, veterinarian, military, waitperson. A career in science. A researcher, chemist, biologist, architect, engineering. A career in entertainment. An artist, musician, dancer, playwright, author, actor, composer.
The career you choose is, however, to be one that nurture’s your heart as a priority. It should give you a feeling of passion and purpose, rather than financial security. Financial security is a goal one needs to have a degree of focus upon. We do need money to pay our bills, to support our family and lifestyle, to finance our dreams. Money being ‘the root of all evil’ is a fallacy. Money is a form of energy exchange. It has no judgment. It can influence or impede financial security. It is what you do with it that matters. But financial security is often temporary and based on your decisions and emotions.
Enter into your career choice with enthusiasm, passion, and a zest for knowledge. It may turn out that your career changes as you grow older. Jobs will definitely change through the years. You may be an individual who says, “Money does not matter or drive me.” This is a learned, mental paradigm picked up from your upbringing and childhood environment. Change it. Start thinking of how you can use financial security to benefit others.
The Truth About ‘Twin Flames’
If you are confused about the spiritual concept of ‘twin flames’ and ‘soulmates,’ you’re not alone. Perhaps, I can shed some light on this very misunderstood subject.
I could never have understood or imagined it myself either, until I found myself going through the ‘madness’ myself, over 20 years ago. If you have never gone through a so-called twin flame experience, you won’t understand it. It’s a romantic connection like no other! But the biggest lesson I learned for it is that it is also no reason to stay in a toxic relationship.
My twin flame relationship was highly important to me, regardless of it being a one-way street. I meant so much to me that I ended up travelling to Mumbai, India, to obtain advice and assistance from a highly skilled gurugi (spiritual teacher). I was convinced that she could fix things for me, since my relationship was surely ‘meant to be.’
The feelings were so intense, for me, anyway. And, I was convinced that my beloved’s feelings for me were of the same exquisite level. In fact, I had no idea or any way of gauging otherwise. The ultimate fantasy, right!
Further, I thought that it was up to me to heal this person that had captured my heart. It seemed to me the more painful the relationship was, the more healing I had to do for him. As a result, I carried the entire relationship energetically, and emotionally.
For example, although I had always been a passionate ‘foodie,’ I began to look anorexic, as I continued on this healing mission for him. I was eating plenty of good food all the time, but I realize now that I was so drained, as a result of giving him so much of my energy, that it wouldn’t have mattered what, or how much I ate.
When Too-Close-For-Comfort Reveals The Truth
So, here is something new, which I have not heard before in my work: distraught clients asking for help while quarantined with their partner or spouse. For some, being cooped up with their significant other is apparently not going very well!
The circumstances that we are all going through at the moment, is forcing us to take another look at our closest relationships and see if they are meant to be long lasting, or if it is only a chapter or season in our life. Some relationships start off wonderful like a TV commercial, one minute it is heavenly, and then one day not so much.
So, let me share a recent Tarot reading I did for a gentleman, who said it helped them a lot during this too-close-for-comfort time at home with his wife. Who knows, maybe it will be of value to you too? It might just rescue your mental health, happiness and well-being…until they let the two of you out of the house again.
He said that he is a great problem-solver, but just can’t figure out how to make this marriage work. He never saw certain aspects of his wife’s personality, until he has now been forced to have to be around her for a very long extended period of time during the Covid-19 lockdown. He also admitted that sometimes it’s hard to really connect his feelings to things going on in his life, only because he “can be moody.” But we soon discovered the real truth about his toxic relationship.
In the reading, I saw that he has had many relationships in his life and he acknowledged that he had been married several times. I said that I felt it did not work out because he didn’t get the necessary support he needed from his mates in the past.
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
On The Positive Side Of A Pandemic
These are painful, difficult times. There is a lot of uncertainty in our world and it is so hard to see so many people suffering. However, there are also many beautiful, magical, heroic moments happening everywhere on the planet.
These moments of unity and love, occurring at the same time as so much hardship and pain is occurring, is what will matter most in the end. It is important during times like this to balance the darkness with the light. In today’s post, I wish to therefore focus on some of these more uplifting, inspirational trends of recent weeks.
There is a man in Spain whose upstairs neighbor was in the hospital due to a Covid-19 infection. The man reached up high every night and fed the hospitalized man’s dog on the balcony of his apartment, thus keeping the dog alive throughout the owner’s hospitalization. Sometimes the smallest act of kindness can have the most lasting impact.
In some places, pet shelters have been emptying with more people recently adopting cats and dogs as companions. In the process more animals are being spared euthanasia and given good homes. Many people are now being comforted and loved by their new fur babies during a difficult time.
Nurses, doctors, truck drivers, janitors, grocery store workers and many other service workers are now being praised as heroes. There is a new appreciation for the important work they do. Some wealthy people have donating money, time and energy to feed people and support the unemployed.
A Unique Time For Human Connection
This is a unique opportunity in human history. We have more time now to expand our awareness and understanding, and to take the guidance from the sages of the ages to find peace in a tumultuous situation. One of the most unique aspects of the current situation is related to human connection.
At a time when we are being asked to practice social distancing, we also have a unique opportunity to be connected through social media and video conferencing. I am amazed at the opportunity that the miracle of technology has given us. Many of these technologies were not available 20 years ago.
Recently, I have been seeing stories about the kindness and compassion people are showing during this time. All the communication technology we have at our disposal enables us to connect with one another at a deeper level.
I would also recommend not focusing too much of your mental and emotional attention only on yourself at this time. The current situation is not just about you, and when we focus too much energy on what we are going to do or how this will affect us on a personal level, it only increases our sense of anxiety about the unknown.
If you are currently finding yourself with more free time, also do not just use this as an opportunity to only binge on television or movies. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with watching television or movies, but this is also an opportunity to expand your interpersonal connections in a unique way. This is a time where we can extend our energies on compassion and kindness toward our fellow humans.