Love & Relationships
Active Listening – A Message From My Guides
Your ears are working all day long. They hear thousands and thousands of sounds. Most sounds are routine, so many are dismissed as the normal cacophony of a busy life.
Without particularly focusing, you can easily differentiate between outdoor construction work, the squeal of tires on pavement, and the subtle dripping of a faucet indoors. You can also be awakened by an unusual sound while you are sound asleep.
With all this hearing going on 24/7, how often do you really make time to truly listen? Not just to miscellaneous, irrelevant sounds, or humdrum activity, but to the voices of loved ones and your own inner voice?
The key here is time. Everyone is so busy these days, that we are often thinking of something in the past, or planning hours, days or weeks in advance. Meanwhile, golden opportunities to learn more about each other can easily slip by.
People often hide their fears behind words of bravado or arrogance. When strangled by ego, they can overcompensate by sounding obnoxious or condescending. When they are feeling small or insignificant, people can try too hard to impress. Each of these attitudes can be annoying to the listener.
Ignoring The Signs In Matters Of The Heart
Many years ago, while consoling my best friend after a major breakup, it came to me that she was doing everything possible to continue holding on to what Spirit was removing from her life.
Sitting next to her, as she held on to her laptop hoping to find her lover’s name amidst emails, was like witnessing a tragedy. It was a heartbreak that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, either directly or indirectly.
After a year-long courtship, the ‘man of her dreams’ suddenly began to distance himself without any explanation. The calls became less, the frequent text messages disappeared, and there were no longer any plans on the calendar for their usual weekend outings.
I offered my friend a shoulder to cry on, and searched my mind for the appropriate, most comforting words to speak, but I could feel her gradually pulling away. All that mattered to her at that moment was establishing a deeper connection with her missing-in-action lover.
My friend resisted my recommendation to slow down, to find her center, and most of all… to let go. Instead, she suddenly bolted from her chair, threw on her coat and scarf, and fled the scene.
Several hours later, I received a frantic call from her. While parked outside of her boyfriend’s apartment, she saw him leave with his arm around another woman. Apparently, it was very clear from their mutual displays of affection, that he was in love with someone else.
Months went by, with my friend still holding on to the false hope that her love would someday return. Meanwhile, several very nice men attempted to get her attention, but she turned down each and every one. She even received a lucrative job offer, that came with a coveted geographical relocation, but she refused it. She turned her back on this amazing opportunity for fear of moving too far away from her ex.
Change Is A Spiritual Blessing
Changes can happen at any time in your life. It is often spontaneous, but it can also be triggered by major life events, such as the loss of a partner, spouse, or anyone that you love or care about. Whatever it may be, change is what we’re hit with in these times, and it can be so scary.
We often fear change or moving on. We enjoy changing our environment or lifestyle, or letting go of the memories, but change also has so many possibilities! Sometimes it’s actually what you have been waiting for, but we hold ourselves back.
No matter how much you try to avoid it, or fear it, change is constantly taking place in and around us. Our souls are always evolving, whether we want it to, or not. We must embrace this and open ourselves to it, because change can be very positive. For example, when you know that you must leave a bad relationship, because it is toxic, or when you need to move out of a home to downsize, because it makes better financial sense.
Starting over, making new friends, being happy, this is all part of change. Sometimes we have to learn to let go of things, to have more meaning and happiness in our lives. No one should ever force you into change against your free will, but many of us also try to prevent change from happening, keeping things the way they are, because it is convenient. But then they don’t grow personally, neither do they spiritually evolve.
Visualizing Your New Reality
We all want certain things in life: an exciting career, financial success, good health, a fulfilling romantic relationship, and a happy family life. Achieving these goals require dedication, hard work and some sacrifices. What many people do not know is that they can boost their efforts to achieve these goals by using visualization.
To fast-track your dreams, begin by shaping and clarifying your vision. What we imagine in our mind’s eye, is what will become manifest in our life.
Some of our dreams are easy to visualize. It is simple to picture yourself on a tropical island, with a gentle breeze blowing sweetly across your face. Or visualize yourself driving down the highway in your snappy new sports car. Imagining such things are not that much of a challenge for most of us.
But what about the more serious, large scale goals? For example, how do you visualize making the huge leap from a mundane office job to an exciting, globetrotting career, that will offer you both financial freedom and sense of fulfillment? Or how do you envision moving from a tiny cramped apartment to a glorious, well-designed home? These things may be more difficult to imagine, since they are outside your everyday experience and seem out of reach.
The solution is to break these visions down into smaller, more practical steps, instead of focusing solely on main outcome. We must tap into our life experience, as well as the creative juices we all have within. Build an image in your mind of the desired goal or outcome by visualizing the different aspects towards accomplishing the overall dream.
My Tarot Cards For Everlasting Love
Clients often seek out Tarot readings to help them decipher if the relationship they are currently in will eventually become their ‘happily ever after.’ Here are my top ten Tarot cards that indicate longevity and success in romantic partnerships in a Tarot reading.
The Hierophant
This card typically represents a serious, traditional figure who is sincere and prefers monogamy over the dating game.
4 of Wands
A celebration card that symbolizes happiness and harmony, especially within the home.
2 of Cups
When this card is combined with other positive minor or major arcana, it indicates that this is a match made in heaven.
10 of Pentacles
This typically represents family and financial security, so expect the relationship to go the distance.
Is It Worth Your Health And Happiness?
We are usually deep in conversation, accompanied by a lot of belly laughs, when I meet with my group of crochet girlfriends every other week. We meet around a large table, yarn in hand, to make lots of wonderful goodies to give away at Christmas, or whatever festive holiday is upon us.
Things turned serious at a recent gathering, when one of the gals in our group starting talking about her daughter, who recently separated from her husband. She said a few things about their situation and then looked up at me, but decided not to ask, as I was there for fun and not to be asked any psychic questions.
My friends know that when I’m at our crochet circle, it is about taking a break from my work and just having some fun with the girls! But it’s not always so easy.
She quickly tried changing the subject, but the other ladies started to talk about their own children. Some of the older gals even brought up their grandchildren who were recently divorced, or separated.
Many comments were made like, “Times are tough,” and, “These days things aren’t the same as they were when we were growing up,” and “Life is no longer as simple as it used to be back in the day,” and also, “Technology is ruining a lot of couples these days.”
Free Yourself With The Power Of Forgiveness
How can we possibly reconcile the feelings of anger and betrayal with a need to forgive? Are we compromising our integrity in doing so?
Forgiveness can seem like an impossibility… but it doesn’t have to be. It’s really one of the few things in life that really matters, whether it means forgiving ourselves, or someone else. It is said that allowing someone to continuously upset you, is to allow them to ‘live rent-free inside your mind.’
Others hurt us all the time. Holding on to this hurt for long periods of time can damage us physically and psychologically. And then there are those ‘little things’… like someone cutting you off in traffic, or forgetting an important date.
One thing forgiveness does not do, is make us forget the source of the pain. What it does is allow a reconciliation with what happened, and allows us to move on in a productive way. When you were a child, perhaps you got hurt with a hot stove burner or electrical outlet. You didn’t (hopefully) spend the rest of your life being angry at stoves or electrical outlets! This is basically how forgiveness also works. We can acknowledge that someone or something caused us to hurt, and be aware of how that happened, but still move past it and get on with our lives.
Holding on to anger and bitterness will color all your relationships, until you learn to forgive and let go. If, for example, you ended a toxic relationship and decided to start dating again, you might not be able to fully trust, because of the possibility of reliving that pain. A truly intimate relationship will never happen without forgiveness.