News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

judgment

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Maintaining A Lasting, Loving Relationship

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWe’ve all seen couples who have been together for many years. How do they make it last? Any relationship just beginning will feel magical when it’s in the infatuation stage. But when that’s gone, what then?

Whether it’s a friendship or a long-term partnership, keeping and maintaining a good relationship is generally a lot harder than the fairytale myth of ‘happily ever after.’ But it doesn’t have to be with the basic elements that enable relationships to stand the test of time.

Mutual Respect

Mutual respect is something everyone appreciates. Everyone loves to feel wanted, respected and loved. Avoid belittling or bullying your partner or friend, and don’t compare them negatively to yourself, or someone else. Respecting differences helps is to better see someone else’s point of view. Respect is a two-way street: don’t take too much and don’t expect someone else to give more than their fair share.

Relationships which endure are based in real love and respect. If you’ve been with someone for five years, or for 50, remind yourself why you fell in love with them in the first place. Have date nights and tell the other person that you love and respect them.

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Let Your Authentic Self Sparkle

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comToo many relationships are ruined by worrying about what other people think of us. We worry about what people will say, what people will think. I’ve seen many people disconnected from their loved ones in this way, with their only means of continued communication being social, or texting. They’re so afraid of expressing the things they should say, and so on.

If we could just remove our hardened shell and reveal who we really are, and allow our souls to sparkle, be authentic and keep it real with one another, I think we would connect perfectly.

In today’s world we are so brainwashed to think we have to be something we are not. I see so many people communicating, but putting on airs, acting like they are someone they are not, to try and impress, or to sell an idea, or sell themselves as someone else. It can take a toll on the body, mind, spirit. If only we could allow ourselves to show the world who we truly are, and to speak our truth, and sincerely connect with our loved ones, family members, friends, we would all have happier, richer lives.

Sometimes we stop being who we truly are, because the person we communicate with snaps at us, or has a problem with our opinions or how we view the world. When we share our thoughts and opinions freely, these people make us feel like we can’t be who we truly are around them.

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An Accelerated Path

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comMany people come to me after years, sometimes decades, of trying everything else: Astrology, Numerology, Genetics, Past Life Regression, therapy, and so on. Years of being understood, validated, affirmed, and being told narratives regarding why they are the way they are, did not bring them all the answers.

There is worth in all of the above practices, both in Psychology and Spirituality, or Metaphysics. However, growth requires challenge, and we are now in a ‘feel good’ culture, where if anyone gets upset, there is the potential of backlash, or even a lawsuit.

In the 1960s there was an amazing education role play called Brown Eyes, developed by an elementary school teacher. You can look up the video online, as well as the reunion footage years later with the kids, who are now adults. The game created a scenario in which children, and later also adults, were able to experience the profound effects of discrimination, prejudice and racism.

However, teachers were eventually sued for doing this role play in class, because of the emotional upset caused by the experience. Of course, the role play was not upsetting to the minority children who experienced the discrimination and prejudice all the time in their daily lives.

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The Integrity Of Being Non-Judgmental

click here to get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.com

This is the age of being non-judgmental. So, does this mean you love and accept your neighbor who is a registered sex offender? Do you not say anything to your best friend when her partner is cheating on her, or stealing from her, because you don’t want to judge and be negative? Where does being non-judgmental begin and end? And what if non-judgment is really cowardice instead?

Native people all over the world, before so-called civilization, did not have police or prisons. Tribal members held each other accountable, on many different levels. You could not act in a way that was harmful to the rest of the tribe, without someone calling you out and bringing you before the elders, the shamans, or the tribal council. Tribes would punish or exile any person that caused harm to the tribe.

These days, if you dare call anyone out for their misconduct, you risk being branded as negative and judgmental, and told you need to practice unconditional love. Sadly, this means that it usually takes decades of abuse, before something like the Me Too movement, or any form of human or civil rights abuse is finally brought into the light and confronted.

Sociology and Social Psychology label tribal culture as form of collectivism, meaning the good of the majority comes first, before the needs of the individual. But in some circles fearmongers prefer to label collectivist behavior as ‘socialism’ or ‘communism.’ Continue reading

Protect Your Energy From Toxic People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIt is vital to protect ourselves energetically from toxic, negative people. It is essential to our health and well-being. To one degree or another we’ve all have experienced negative, toxic people. These people are sometimes easy to detect, but not always.

The most typical scenario I have encountered is the unkind or rude family member, or distant relative. These are also the most difficult to dealt with, because we often time have no choice but to spend time with them at family events and gatherings. Usually we feel we have no choice in the matter, bit this is actually not true. We do have a choice.

We don’t have to attend every family event. If you know the toxic person is going to be there, you simply don’t have to rise to the occasion. Stop feeling guilty for not attending. Of course, there are usually other family members who make you feel like you have to be there. “It just won’t be Christmas without you,” they might say.  But what it really comes down to is your personal well-being. Sure, you may only have to absorb their negative energy once or twice a year, but just like once you have heard something disturbing you can’t ‘unhear’ it, once you have had the experience it is now a part of your memories.

I prefer to be proactive when it comes to managing my energy. And we do have the right to decide who we choose to spend time with, or not. I prefer spending time with those relatives and friends who are compassionate and kind, instead of those who lack tact, are rude, cruel and inconsiderate. I prefer to avoid those who think their opinions are fact, and who are constantly dropping poison upon others with their negative comments. Not okay. Not ever.

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Crippled By Our Failure To Express Honest Emotion

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comExpressing our truth openly and honestly, provides a channel for further rites of passage in real intimacy. When we do not convey what is actually bothering us, we impede our communication and inadvertently cripple our relationships.

Because we are gods in the making, who have temporarily assumed a physical form as human beings, we are subjected to the basic emotions of earthly existence. These undeveloped emotional sensations constitute real and necessary experiences, while we take on the Earth experience.

When we are unwilling, or seemingly unable to express these innate feelings, an overt shyness takes hold which manifests as a manipulative need to gain control over other people. As paradoxical as this may seem, repressing our true feelings can make us ever more capable and adept at employing a favorable charismatic strategy over people and situations in order to remain ‘hidden.’

To cover up a deep sense of experiencing oneself as ‘wrong,’ accompanied by a genuine knowledge of presenting oneself as ‘phony,’ a loss of innate power is reverberated throughout the body and mind, coupled by the need to present oneself as invincible and correct.

The soul knows this act of contrition is deceptive, but will support the gesture, so that the human enacting her role may survive in her particular social environment. The person will continue to enact a subversive way of calculated behavior, by seeming to comply, but all the while, determined to be more perfect, right and flawless in personal presentation. In other words, to get her way in the end, a deceitful manner concocts undue pressure, along with the vulnerable defense of protecting one’s motivations from being detected.

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Forgiveness Is The Solution

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comForgiveness may be the path to a truly happy and fulfilled life. In his book The Forgiveness Solution, Dr. Philip Friedman puts forth the idea that all our emotional concerns, such as judgment, anger, and grievance, come from our inability to forgive. When we hold onto this emotional baggage, it harms everything. Hurt people hurt people. Taken to the extreme, it may lead to self-harm, or harm to others. But there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.

The first and most important step is to learn to forgive ourselves and develop, what Dr. Friedman calls ‘self-regulation skills.’ In essence these skills are defined by the classic Serenity prayer for courage to change what we can, acceptance of what we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. In addition, becoming wholly healthy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, will better allow self-forgiveness.

When we engage in our daily spiritual practice, we should ideally include a mantra about forgiveness. It may take a while for the idea to take root. Habits take about 30 days to become routine, but after you’ve begun to forgive, you can let the pain go by the wayside.

Keeping a positive attitude is essential to the process of forgiveness. This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time. What is does mean is that setbacks and obstacles are regarded as challenges to overcome, rather than insurmountable hurdles.

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