News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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The Path To Self-Love

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn the words of Esther Perel, when did we learn to live on crumbs? Who taught us not to need much and where did we learn to refrain from wanting, asking, needing? Wise words! I see it so often, in myself and in so many others. We dim our own lights so that others feel better about themselves. We sell ourselves short through self-criticism. We settle for mere crumbs in relationships. It is a common tendency especially among healers and those who are more empathic. The question is why do we do this and how can we alter the pattern?

Why do we do this? At the core of the issue is self-love – simply not feeling good enough about ourselves or worthy enough, because on some deep level our self-worth and self-love is damaged or wounded. No one escapes these issues as a result of being in this physical body and feeling like we are separated from our ultimate Source. We therefore are constantly searching for ways to prove our worth, to feel acceptance and love from others to validate ourselves.

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Dealing With Dysfunctional Family Dynamics

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comFamily dynamics can be tremendously complex. These relationships are multi-layered and may have played out for ages. Next to love relationship, and then business, family relationships are at the top of the list for many of my clients.

For many family is a love-hate scenario, which can be particularly challenging. It is said we cannot choose our family, but we can choose how and when, or if, we interact with them. However, severing family ties is a big step and not one taken lightly. By the time this happens the drama, or abuse has been ongoing for years – many times beginning in childhood. A childhood that in spite the passage of time is as fresh and painful as it was when it occurred. If money and or control are woven into the mix, the matter doubles in complexity.

It’s an unfortunate truth that many of the people that I speak with, especially empaths, intuitives and highly sensitive people, have family histories that are rife with conflict, and often also abuse. They often share a feeling of not belonging, being singled out, or being the scapegoat of the family. The suffering is long-term and tragic, with the scars running deep.

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Healthy Boundaries – The Best New Year’s Resolution!

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThe best New Year’s resolution many of us can work on in 2019 is to create healthy boundaries with the people in our lives. These boundaries don’t have to be all about just creating space or distance between you and a few toxic people and things in your life. It can also include keeping yourself from being exposed to negativity on social media, or avoiding those foods you are intolerant to. In 2019 I recommend we all take a moment to think about the things we do, say, consume, and the people we spend our time with. Whatever it may be that brings us down, or steals our energy, needs to go. And no more people-pleasing.

Dr Seuss says, “Those who matter don’t mind, and, those who mind, don’t matter.” Well, it’s true. Those people who have a problem with you, because your belief system is different from theirs, for example, are absolutely out of line! I have said it once and I will say it again: the world will be a very boring place if we all had the same ideas and way of thinking. Diversity is what keeps our world going. So it’s okay to be different. I am big on keeping it real and being authentic. I refuse to be a conformist.

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Tarot And The Future

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThe Tarot is a wonderful resource for gauging which direction we are heading in life. However, too often people seeking information will misunderstand the system. They want to know the future, but the Tarot does not create the future. The Tarot is a metaphysical tool and does not negate metaphysical laws. We can certainly see which direction we are headed in our lives, based on the insights the Tarot can provide. However, it is important to pay attention to the whole message that is coming through.

Rushing to the end of a Tarot reading is unwise, since there are often elements of change that are integral to the outcomes. I often explain it like this: the Tarot works in much the same way as a Global Positioning System (GPS). The end point will represent the coordinates that we either desire, or are currently headed toward. The other cards represent the path to get there. At times, the Tarot will provide directives that help us along the way. Just like with a GPS, we cannot expect to get to the right location if we are unwilling to follow the instructions necessary to get us to the right place.

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Why Empaths Fall Victim To Narcissists

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhy are narcissists and empaths often drawn to one another? This is a phenomena many of us empaths fall victim to. Which, at first, may seem odd, since empaths and narcissists are polar opposites! But, maybe that is the key? Opposites attract.

But, what’s more profound, is that the narcissist preys upon the empath’s dedication to healing those who are emotionally wounded or scarred. By nature empaths are deeply caring, compassionate people. The empath’s purpose in life is to support healing in others, yet due to their intense sensitivity, empaths often struggle to create healthy boundaries for themselves, giving in to martyrdom, victimhood, co-dependency, and chronic self-sacrifice.

An empath will do anything in their power to help or heal another. And, will not easily give up or walk away. This makes them prime targets for the narcissist.

There are different types of narcissists. But, for this article, I will discuss the most common. And, that is the Amorous Narcissist. They tend to measure their self-worth and grandiosity by how many sexual conquests they have conquered. This type of person is known for using their charm to ensnare others with attention, flattery and gifts. But, they dispose of their target once they become bored or when their needs have been served. The target typically won’t so much as get an explanation, much less a goodbye.

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Connecting To The Universal Power

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI have been in a very contemplative situation lately; probably because there have been so many deaths of loved ones that I have been so attached to. We all accept the idea that one day we will leave this existence and move on to another. But what happens in between? Where do we go immediately after leaving this realm? Is it safe? Will we enjoy it there? Do we get to come back? All of the above may be a small part of what plagues us, while we are trying to establish and maintain ourselves in the meantime.

My greatest desire for myself right now is to find a way to connect to the grand Universal Power and to solidify that connection. This will enable me to go about my daily existence with inner peace and calmness, and not allow myself to get mired down in the minutia of circumstances that I cannot change.

My first step is to understand why I am here. I feel part of the reason I incarnated into this world was first of all to help repair my karmic debt, by becoming immersed in some pain and suffering as a human being. There is no other world that I have been made aware of that would enable me to do this.

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