News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

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Forgiveness Is The Solution

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comForgiveness may be the path to a truly happy and fulfilled life. In his book The Forgiveness Solution, Dr. Philip Friedman puts forth the idea that all our emotional concerns, such as judgment, anger, and grievance, come from our inability to forgive. When we hold onto this emotional baggage, it harms everything. Hurt people hurt people. Taken to the extreme, it may lead to self-harm, or harm to others. But there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.

The first and most important step is to learn to forgive ourselves and develop, what Dr. Friedman calls ‘self-regulation skills.’ In essence these skills are defined by the classic Serenity prayer for courage to change what we can, acceptance of what we cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference. In addition, becoming wholly healthy, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, will better allow self-forgiveness.

When we engage in our daily spiritual practice, we should ideally include a mantra about forgiveness. It may take a while for the idea to take root. Habits take about 30 days to become routine, but after you’ve begun to forgive, you can let the pain go by the wayside.

Keeping a positive attitude is essential to the process of forgiveness. This doesn’t mean that you have to be happy all the time. What is does mean is that setbacks and obstacles are regarded as challenges to overcome, rather than insurmountable hurdles.

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The Holy Guardian Angel Within

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThere are angels all around us, guiding us, whispering to us in our dreams, trying to get our attention. Life can get so busy that we often don’t see or hear their subtle messages.

I was at a spiritual expo recently, doing readings and sharing messages. Several clients who sat down for a session, mentioned the intense energy they felt in the building that day. Some even experienced a glow or halo effect around the building, before they walked in.

Energy was indeed everywhere that day. There was the energy emitted by crystals on display, which we can entrain to balance our energies, as well as the many other sacred items the vendors were selling. There were also various kinds of healing techniques being practiced, as well as the many other metaphysical services being offered. But, most importantly, I believe there was the light inside each person that was amplified by our own Holy Guardian Angel.

There was an invisible connection happening with all of us there that day. We were seekers on the same path, acknowledging the Divine spark within each of us. Everyone was kind and patient.  I have experienced this phenomena repeatedly at spiritual retreats and events, but also in the everyday places of life. Life is sacred and we are magical beings.

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How To Be That One Person

click pic for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comBeing a ‘helper’ in someone’s life is a sacred task. To be the one person who believes deeply in another, who ‘sees’ them despite their current circumstances, to be that person who expects them to be bigger than they are, who helps them see and reach beyond where they are now, and who never abandons them, while managing to hold your own space and not get victimized or abused by their lashing out… these are the actions and  expressions of spiritual maturity expressed as universal love.

Universal love and tolerance is not a choice for ‘weenies.’ It is in fact a hero’s journey. By the way, I do not use the term ‘unconditional love,’ because I feel it is an overused cliché and it too often implies a world of hugs, kisses, complements and affirmations – and that is not all that love is. Those expressions of love are often the self-gratification addiction of a wounded person, who needs to be thanked and adored for giving ‘love’ to someone else. It is typically also the trademarks of a co-dependent, or narcissist.

Hugs and kisses represent only one aspect of love. It is the safest and most fun aspect of ‘showing love.’ However, love is not simply all about physical tokens and making someone else ‘feel good,’ so you also can feel good. To be a loving, spiritually aware, humble, strong ‘secret agent’ of love goes way beyond dishing out hugs and kisses.

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Communicating Kindness – A Message From My Guides

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comOur focus today is on being kind to those who are close to you and improve your communication with those you love. Sometimes people are inclined to take their loved ones for granted and speak with them entirely differently than they would speak to a stranger.

It is easy to be kind when showing genuine support and encouragement, but it can be more difficult when giving disagreeable advice, or chastising. Overall, it is much more challenging to be kind when expressing any kind of criticism. To counteract these challenges, we have three recommendations that might help.

Our first proposition is to listen actively. Many people are so compelled to answer while another is speaking that they formulate their responses without actually hearing what is truly being said. They assume that they know where the conversation is going so they miss any nuance or undercurrent within the comments being made.

Staying silent without interrupting can be very challenging, especially when you are eager to expand on positive commentary or ready to disagree with every fiber of your being. It might take an inordinate amount of practice, however, if you can master the art of listening well, people will soon think of you as a great conversationalist.

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The Powerful Gift Of Self-Compassion

Get a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comEmpaths do not only have the capability to discern another person’ suffering or pain. We also have the gift of compassion – the ability, as well as the desire, to mitigate someone else’s pain, or alleviate it all together. The two abilities go hand in hand. I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t express deep compassion and a sincere desire to mitigate pain and suffering. It’s a wonderful gift that the world could use a lot more of right now.

According to Emma Seppälä, a writer for the Harvard Business Review, compassion is a much better business management tactic than toughness. Research shows that the more compassionate response will get you more powerful results as a business manager.

Compassion inspires loyalty according to a study by Jonathan Haidt of New York University. Haidt found that the more employees looked up to their leaders, and were moved by their compassion or kindness (a state he called elevation), the more loyal they became to them. It follows then that responding with anger or frustration has the opposite effect.

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‘Handling’ People

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comWhen people ‘handle’ me, it makes my skin crawl, literally. Why do people feel the need to ‘handle’ others? What is the difference between say being diplomatic with someone, being professional, or having boundaries, all of which are healthy behaviors, compared to ‘handling’ someone? The simple answer is energy.

Handling someone means you are a closed book, you have an agenda with a person and you want to accomplish that agenda, whether it is to get something from the person or to make that person go away (without you simply setting a boundary or being honest).

People who ‘handle’ others often do not know that is what they are doing; it is their unconscious ‘go-to’ behavior, their norm. Some ways of discovering if you are handling versus relating to someone, is to look at your other choices.

You may not realize that addicts always need handling. So, if you are an addict (of any kind — drugs, alcohol, sugar, sex, anything you feel compelled to do in excess), or if you tend to date, marry or make friends with addicts of any sort, you are more than likely someone who ‘handles’ others, as well as yourself. A handler type person will choose addicts often without realizing or admitting to themselves that they are an addict, because addicts do in fact need to be ‘handled’ until they come out of denial and start to participate in their recovery.

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The Path To Self-Love

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn the words of Esther Perel, when did we learn to live on crumbs? Who taught us not to need much and where did we learn to refrain from wanting, asking, needing? Wise words! I see it so often, in myself and in so many others. We dim our own lights so that others feel better about themselves. We sell ourselves short through self-criticism. We settle for mere crumbs in relationships. It is a common tendency especially among healers and those who are more empathic. The question is why do we do this and how can we alter the pattern?

Why do we do this? At the core of the issue is self-love – simply not feeling good enough about ourselves or worthy enough, because on some deep level our self-worth and self-love is damaged or wounded. No one escapes these issues as a result of being in this physical body and feeling like we are separated from our ultimate Source. We therefore are constantly searching for ways to prove our worth, to feel acceptance and love from others to validate ourselves.

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