Love & Relationships
How Envy Drains Your Energy And Keeps You Stuck
As a clairvoyant and empath, I don’t just take people at face value. I sense what is happening beneath the surface. I can sense the presence of certain emotions, attachments and energetic cords in a person’s energy field, and how these affect relationships and quietly shape life path and soul growth over time.
Having done psychic readings for people all over the world for many years, I have repeatedly come to the same conclusion about relationships: most conflict is not really about what it appears to be on the surface. When viewed from an energetic and karmic perspective, deeper emotional currents are almost always at play, such as hurt, insecurity, betrayal, resentment or the need to restore balance.
One issue that I repeatedly encounter in these situations is envy.
Conflict can arise from many sources, but envy is one of the common energetic patterns I encounter, but is seldom talked about in everyday life. It often lies just beneath the surface of the tension between people, whether they are siblings, friends, or romantic partners.
First, it is important to distinguish between envy and jealousy, because they are not energetically the same. Jealousy is the fear that someone might take something away from you that you already have, while envy is the desire to have something someone else already has.
Spiritually speaking, the difference goes even deeper than that. Jealousy tends to stem from fear and attachment, often linked to past experiences of loss, rejection or insecurity. Envy, on the other hand, is rooted in comparison and a sense of lack or scarcity. It arises when someone feels disconnected from their own path, gifts or potential.
Letting Go Of Toxic Love
I have been reading for many years for a lady who is one of my dearest clients. I just love her to pieces. But I did not love the situation she was in with the man in her life, and neither did she. But it took her a long time to come to terms with him.
She was raising their child, while she worked and paid all the bills. Meanwhile, he did as he pleased and did very little to contribute to their home or their relationship. Neither did he make any effort to support her and their child. He has substance abuse problems. When he drinks he uses foul language and doesn’t exercise good judgment. Most of all he isn’t a good role model for their child.
He basically just drank and smoked, while he lay around all day. “And on top of that he eats me out of house and home!” she used to say.
“So he eats all your food, doesn’t work, gets to live for free, while contributing virtually nothing?” I asked her many times. I think she eventually had an “aha!” moment when I asked her this again the other day, because recently she told me that she had asked him to move out, and it felt like a breath of fresh air!
She didn’t feel like anything was holding her back now. She is going to start a new chapter in her life and she feels a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.
She was originally afraid of making this change, because they had been together for so long – over 15 years. But she said then she finally realized, “He changed, and he was taking advantage of me, and I allowed it because I thought he loved me, but he is not longer that same person I met.”
Soulmates, Soul Groups And Soul Contracts
I find that many people in the spiritual and metaphysical communities are looking for their ‘soulmate.’ So what is a soulmate? What does this term mean to you?
A soulmate is often defined as the individual that we can completely resonate with, that we can truly love and that they truly love us back unconditionally. In reality, however, due to our humanness, this may not always be possible and then we may become obsessed with the search for a soulmate. In that search sadly we often miss truly wondrous opportunities to connect with love in the most unusual or unexpected places.
So, why do we fixate on soulmates? The reason is because we crave love. For the majority of people, the pinnacle of human connection is having achieved such a true, ultimate spiritual connection with another individual. It is what we attest to in the ceremony of marriage, the birth of a child, and so forth.
But maybe we should choose to expand our view of a soulmate as being an individual that we have the deepest admiration, respect, love and positive connection with. Then as we look around, with this new definition in mind, we will see that each of us has many, many soulmates.
We should change our paradigm from being one of soulmates having to be our intimate romantic relationship to that of being simply a deep, compassionate heartfelt connection. Then our relationships have the potential of attracting so much more, including the pinnacle connection of true love. Soulmates available to you abound throughout the world. Your universal connection can be instantaneously expanded beyond your wildest belief.
Watch Your Tongue, For Less Is More
We all know individuals we sometimes wish had a zipper attached to their lips. You know, those people who constantly gossip and speak out of turn, with a tendency to go on, and on, and on?
Some people just don’t seem to care if people view them disrespectfully, or are annoyed by their verbal outbursts or destructive communication. They just don’t care. Period.
I have some personal experiences that you might relate to, such as a family member around whom you always have to watch what you say. Everyone is constantly walking on egg shells, for fear of saying the wrong thing, because this person will take it as a personal attack.
You dare say something out of line… and you open a can of blah-blah-blah! Some people truly feel the world revolves around them. They take life much to seriously.
What I have found works best – a little gem of wisdom – is to just not say anything to these folks. When you’re around them, keep it lighthearted and simple, and say as little as possible.
Comment on the weather if they start to gossip, or just say “that’s nice” and then change the subject. They will quickly pick up on the fact that you’re not interested in other people’s business, or that you don’t want to be a part of a conversation loaded with such negative energy.
I have known people that I very deliberately stopped spending time with, because of either hearing them, or knowing how they talk about others. I can assure you, if someone is gossiping about someone to you, odds are they will do the exact same thing to you…right behind your back!
‘Under-Doing’ For You And ‘Overdoing’ for Others?
Are you ‘under-doing’ for yourself, or perhaps ‘overdoing for others’ in order to gain approval and love? Many of us fall into this pattern without even realizing it.
When we are raised to be helpful, agreeable and accommodating, it can become second nature to say yes whenever someone asks something of us.
For some people it can take many years, sometimes even decades, to recognize that constantly putting others first may not always be the healthy or loving choice it appears to be.
Learning to set healthy boundaries is not something most of us are taught when we are young, especially if we have grown accustomed to keeping the peace by going along with what others want.
Many of us know what it feels like to be the person everyone relies on. When something needs to be done, we are the first person people think of. When someone needs help, they call us.
At first this can feel rewarding because we enjoy being supportive and dependable. Yet always being that ‘Yes’ person can quietly create an imbalance over time.
When we continually give our time, energy and attention to others without receiving the same in return, the natural flow of energy becomes disrupted. Healthy relationships usually involve a balanced exchange between people.
How To Keep Your Relationship Strong
Why is it that some relationships are successful, and some are not? When you fall in love your hope is obviously that it will last forever.
There is nothing worse than falling for someone, only to end up heartbroken and confused about what had gone wrong, and wondering how you can go back to the way things used to be.
So, the question is, how do some relationships manage to last and stay so strong?
I believe it begins with the simple things, like how we greet each other every day, for example. Making the effort to kiss our partner hello and goodbye every time we leave and arrive, is a thoughtfulness that can go a long, long way. It keeps the flame of intimacy burning so much stronger.
We should also learn to say “I love you” without any restraints. Those three little words mean so much.
Sometimes of course there will be arguments in a relationship. Developing healthy conflict management skills is therefore essential.
We might hit a nerve with each other, but just because we’re mad does not mean we don’t love each other. Every fight does not mean that your relationship is over. Any couple that goes the distance can rise above fights and realize what’s most important.
When it comes to conflict and disagreements, I feel that the two things one should never do is say something that you cannot take back later, and never go to bed angry. Words can hurt terribly and even if you forget about it, your partner won’t.
Love Cord Connections That Last An Eternity
When we truly love someone on a deeply spiritual level, we are eternally connected to that person throughout all of our lifetimes. The sacred cord of divine love between souls can never be severed.
It is true that love is the most powerful force and it is my belief that God is love. We get to bask in this blissful feeling in its entirety, which is much too much for our earthly minds to even comprehend.
I do know that we get to taste a bit of it through the feelings we experience when we deeply love another person. It is our ‘taste of heaven’ here on earth and we can enhance the feeling through gratitude for that person that is in our lives.
In turn we can also treat each other better, appreciate each other more, knowing that the moment truly is all that we have and it can be taken away at any moment.
Whenever I think about love I am reminded of that famous line in the Beatles song The End, “In the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.” There is so much truth in these simple words.
When we love someone, we have all kinds of things we can do with that person. We have what I call ESP email. Using telepathy we can communicate with that person via our thoughts.
When we have out of body experiences (OBEs) or do astral traveling during the night, we can meet up with these people if we want to. All we have to do is focus on the emotions that we have for that person and then we can make that connection with them in the spirit form, when we astral travel or dream.