Love & Relationships
What To Believe When You Come Undone
So much of the typical human belief system is actually in direct opposition to the concepts of spiritual law. Let’s take the idiom “Life is too short,” for example. This saying is used to essentially suggest or convince oneself or another that we don’t live long…so just live for the now and just do what’s desirable regardless of the consequences. Well, wrong!
The soul’s journey is quite a long one. We reincarnate through many centuries of lifetimes, until our souls have completely evolved, returning to each new life with lessons to learn based on beliefs, karma and decisions made in our prior lives.
For example, a slave master born might return in his next life as a slave, to face his karma and endure what it’s like to be treated as such, and ultimately understand why it’s wrong. So, in reality, life is ‘too long.’ Every action has a reaction – an energetic effect. Thus, we need to be cognizant and conscientious of all that we say and do in this life, and not just engage or divulge in whatever we please, because of a physically limited life span.
That same theory of misunderstandings and contradictions between spiritual concepts and human beliefs, more detrimentally applies to life struggles and emotional well-being. How many times have you prematurely mourned a relationship…then wound up reuniting with your partner? Or maybe you lost your favorite job and felt hopelessly valueless and depleted, foreseeing eternal darkness, only to find your dream job shortly after? Moments, days, weeks, months, years, where you either take on a defeatist attitude, and suffer, or become a control freak and try to take matters into your own hands. Thinking you are, but not trusting that you are not, the wizard behind the curtain?
Authentic Feelings Are Not Always ‘Sunshine And Rainbows’
What a comfortable, easy life this would be if everyone could just feel like ‘sunshine and rainbows’ all the time. The truth is that the many of the most worthwhile things in life do not come from ‘easy’ and ‘comfortable.’ And when we suppress our true feelings, it is ultimately detrimental to our health body, mind, and spirit.
Revealing our true feelings does not come easily for many of us. I am not trying to make up an excuse, but I just was not brought up that way. My parents’ generation were masters of the art of concealing their true feelings, good or bad. When I am doing a mediumship reading, and a departed parent or grandparent shows up, they often say things like, “I wish I told you more often how much I love you.”
I could count on one hand the moments in my childhood that I can remember my parents showing affection for each other in front of us children. Those of us who had been brought up in such a stoic family environment, tend to struggle when are encouraged to express our deepest emotions. As an adult, I do however see the bigger picture today. And I do feel it is necessary to express one’s feelings in a considerate and healthy way.
In my family my parents also never argued in front of us kids. My dad just gave my mom the silent treatment. We grew up thinking he was just be the ‘strong silent type.’ Consequently, I felt that this was what communication in a marriage should be like.
Of course, reality hit me badly with my first marriage, when my ex-husband and I had our first serious argument! I thought it meant the marriage was now over, because I had no coping skills or frame of reference for this kind of authentic self-expression in a relationship. I also had no clue how to have a good, healthy argument.
Healing The Pain Of Losing Your Beloved
Understanding the true nature of our soul journey, how does one cope with the pain of physical separation when our loved ones leave the physical form? There is no easy way to cope with the grief of separation from a beloved. It opens the water ways of deep emotion that rise and fall like the waves on the sea.
Even in the super-excellent times of Radha and Krishna, the supreme divine feminine and masculine described in the ancient spiritual texts of Srimad-Bhagavatam, waves of love in separation were displayed and described to the ultimate pure degree. These transcendental writings identifies the eternal realm of divine love as the original clear source of all that we experience here in a dimly reflected form, including the pain of being parted from the physical presence of a dear soulmate.
So, what can we learn from this source that we can mirror in undergoing this heart aching distress in our own lives?
The first lesson we can take away from the transcendental example is that pain in separation is a gift of love. It arises in direct proportion to the depth of the soul-to-soul connection shared between two people. Thus, every pang, however painful, is like an ornament decorating the heart with the truth of that blessed union. It embodies a reminder not only of the person, but of the great treasure we were fortunate to hold in our arms…and still in our hearts. It invites us to feel grateful for the rare opportunity we had received to experience such deep love in this world. Continue reading
Manifesting A Better Life
The best time to work on manifesting better things in your life is when you are alone and everything is quiet around you. Ask the Universe for what you want and what you need in your life.
Writing down your wishes is a good starting point, Make a list of what you want in the next year, then five years. Make a list of the things you desire and be clear about what you want and need. You can ask for anything: a new job, new love, a better relationship with your family, and so on.
Once you have made a request, be aware as you guides will answer you, and guide you in the right direction. The key here is being aware of how they direct you, if you want to ensure you will accomplish your manifesting goals.
You need to be aware how your guides are directing you, or you could miss important opportunities along the way. They place ideas and thoughts in our minds, give us signs, and send us messages all the time. You need to be aware that they are there to help you always – just call on them!
And if your guides want you to learn a lesson, for example, such as ending a relationship that is toxic, in order for you to find a new, better relationship, then that is what you will need to do to accomplish your goal. Manifesting is seldom about simply receiving everything on a silver platter. It often also requires hard work, patience and sacrifices to achieve your end goal. Continue reading
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Let Your Authentic Self Sparkle
Too many relationships are ruined by worrying about what other people think of us. We worry about what people will say, what people will think. I’ve seen many people disconnected from their loved ones in this way, with their only means of continued communication being social, or texting. They’re so afraid of expressing the things they should say, and so on.
If we could just remove our hardened shell and reveal who we really are, and allow our souls to sparkle, be authentic and keep it real with one another, I think we would connect perfectly.
In today’s world we are so brainwashed to think we have to be something we are not. I see so many people communicating, but putting on airs, acting like they are someone they are not, to try and impress, or to sell an idea, or sell themselves as someone else. It can take a toll on the body, mind, spirit. If only we could allow ourselves to show the world who we truly are, and to speak our truth, and sincerely connect with our loved ones, family members, friends, we would all have happier, richer lives.
Sometimes we stop being who we truly are, because the person we communicate with snaps at us, or has a problem with our opinions or how we view the world. When we share our thoughts and opinions freely, these people make us feel like we can’t be who we truly are around them.
Protect Your Energy From Toxic People
It is vital to protect ourselves energetically from toxic, negative people. It is essential to our health and well-being. To one degree or another we’ve all have experienced negative, toxic people. These people are sometimes easy to detect, but not always.
The most typical scenario I have encountered is the unkind or rude family member, or distant relative. These are also the most difficult to dealt with, because we often time have no choice but to spend time with them at family events and gatherings. Usually we feel we have no choice in the matter, bit this is actually not true. We do have a choice.
We don’t have to attend every family event. If you know the toxic person is going to be there, you simply don’t have to rise to the occasion. Stop feeling guilty for not attending. Of course, there are usually other family members who make you feel like you have to be there. “It just won’t be Christmas without you,” they might say. But what it really comes down to is your personal well-being. Sure, you may only have to absorb their negative energy once or twice a year, but just like once you have heard something disturbing you can’t ‘unhear’ it, once you have had the experience it is now a part of your memories.
I prefer to be proactive when it comes to managing my energy. And we do have the right to decide who we choose to spend time with, or not. I prefer spending time with those relatives and friends who are compassionate and kind, instead of those who lack tact, are rude, cruel and inconsiderate. I prefer to avoid those who think their opinions are fact, and who are constantly dropping poison upon others with their negative comments. Not okay. Not ever.