Love & Relationships
The Sweet Nectar Of Romantic Relationships
The energy of the hummingbird brings immense wisdom to be shared with us. When he appears it is always such a treat, as I have learnt so much from this amazing bird, including about love and romantic relationships.
When the hummingbird comes into my life asking to be painted, my vision blurs. I can then only see my artwork clearly and the brush strokes needed to finish his painting. I have learned that sometimes our own vision needs to become blurred, so that what we are seeking can be shown to us.
I have also learned that the ‘narrowed vision’ of hummingbird is vital to the health and vitality of our relationships, especially those of a romantic nature. When we keep our focus firmly on the present moment and the feelings we share with our partner in this moment, rather than on the negative thoughts, concerns or expectations, we blur out the noise.
This allows for a breaking away from the old energy patterns and lack consciousness that too often govern the roles played out in our relationships. It allows for a simplicity to arise in the communion and communication with our partner.
The hummingbird gathers nectar from the flower through its power of focus and natural instincts. It trusts its own innate nature to choose the flowers that will nourish and feed it. Finding trust in our own feelings and intuition is important, so that our relationships are nourished and allowed to blossom from within.
Dealing With A Narcissistic Partner
We all know at least one narcissist. It’s that toxic person in your life who seems charming and likable at first, but is actually extremely self-centered, has an inflated ego, shows no empathy or remorse, and can even become abusive. But what if that person is your partner, or someone you love?
Narcissists want to control. They want others to see them as important, superior and in charge. To a narcissist, someone who suffers from compromised self-esteem, is easy prey, which is why many people who have a narcissistic partner find it difficult to break it off.
Abuse is not always physical. It also takes the form of verbal insults, emotional manipulation or gaslighting, withholding affection, and unequal sharing of duties. All of these forms of abuse feed into a narcissist’s egotism. Narcissists typically try to rope their partners into joining into these negative, harmful relationship patterns.
So, what do you do when you find yourself attached to an abusive narcissist? At first, it’s easy to try and explain away their abusive behavior by citing times when they shows affection, brought gifts, or offered kindness and emotional support. They are good at pretending, but don’t be fooled.
Setting up healthy and definitive boundaries is the first and best defense. Know that you have the right to say no at any time! Falling for gaslighting, emotional manipulation and blackmail is an easy trap, and most narcissists are masters at these psychological games. If you’re unsure of yourself, role-play with a trusted friend or counselor, or read up on the subject. Like most difficult things in life, it takes practice.
Active Listening – A Message From My Guides
Your ears are working all day long. They hear thousands and thousands of sounds. Most sounds are routine, so many are dismissed as the normal cacophony of a busy life.
Without particularly focusing, you can easily differentiate between outdoor construction work, the squeal of tires on pavement, and the subtle dripping of a faucet indoors. You can also be awakened by an unusual sound while you are sound asleep.
With all this hearing going on 24/7, how often do you really make time to truly listen? Not just to miscellaneous, irrelevant sounds, or humdrum activity, but to the voices of loved ones and your own inner voice?
The key here is time. Everyone is so busy these days, that we are often thinking of something in the past, or planning hours, days or weeks in advance. Meanwhile, golden opportunities to learn more about each other can easily slip by.
People often hide their fears behind words of bravado or arrogance. When strangled by ego, they can overcompensate by sounding obnoxious or condescending. When they are feeling small or insignificant, people can try too hard to impress. Each of these attitudes can be annoying to the listener.
Ignoring The Signs In Matters Of The Heart
Many years ago, while consoling my best friend after a major breakup, it came to me that she was doing everything possible to continue holding on to what Spirit was removing from her life.
Sitting next to her, as she held on to her laptop hoping to find her lover’s name amidst emails, was like witnessing a tragedy. It was a heartbreak that most of us will experience at some point in our lives, either directly or indirectly.
After a year-long courtship, the ‘man of her dreams’ suddenly began to distance himself without any explanation. The calls became less, the frequent text messages disappeared, and there were no longer any plans on the calendar for their usual weekend outings.
I offered my friend a shoulder to cry on, and searched my mind for the appropriate, most comforting words to speak, but I could feel her gradually pulling away. All that mattered to her at that moment was establishing a deeper connection with her missing-in-action lover.
My friend resisted my recommendation to slow down, to find her center, and most of all… to let go. Instead, she suddenly bolted from her chair, threw on her coat and scarf, and fled the scene.
Several hours later, I received a frantic call from her. While parked outside of her boyfriend’s apartment, she saw him leave with his arm around another woman. Apparently, it was very clear from their mutual displays of affection, that he was in love with someone else.
Months went by, with my friend still holding on to the false hope that her love would someday return. Meanwhile, several very nice men attempted to get her attention, but she turned down each and every one. She even received a lucrative job offer, that came with a coveted geographical relocation, but she refused it. She turned her back on this amazing opportunity for fear of moving too far away from her ex.
Change Is A Spiritual Blessing
Changes can happen at any time in your life. It is often spontaneous, but it can also be triggered by major life events, such as the loss of a partner, spouse, or anyone that you love or care about. Whatever it may be, change is what we’re hit with in these times, and it can be so scary.
We often fear change or moving on. We enjoy changing our environment or lifestyle, or letting go of the memories, but change also has so many possibilities! Sometimes it’s actually what you have been waiting for, but we hold ourselves back.
No matter how much you try to avoid it, or fear it, change is constantly taking place in and around us. Our souls are always evolving, whether we want it to, or not. We must embrace this and open ourselves to it, because change can be very positive. For example, when you know that you must leave a bad relationship, because it is toxic, or when you need to move out of a home to downsize, because it makes better financial sense.
Starting over, making new friends, being happy, this is all part of change. Sometimes we have to learn to let go of things, to have more meaning and happiness in our lives. No one should ever force you into change against your free will, but many of us also try to prevent change from happening, keeping things the way they are, because it is convenient. But then they don’t grow personally, neither do they spiritually evolve.
Visualizing Your New Reality
We all want certain things in life: an exciting career, financial success, good health, a fulfilling romantic relationship, and a happy family life. Achieving these goals require dedication, hard work and some sacrifices. What many people do not know is that they can boost their efforts to achieve these goals by using visualization.
To fast-track your dreams, begin by shaping and clarifying your vision. What we imagine in our mind’s eye, is what will become manifest in our life.
Some of our dreams are easy to visualize. It is simple to picture yourself on a tropical island, with a gentle breeze blowing sweetly across your face. Or visualize yourself driving down the highway in your snappy new sports car. Imagining such things are not that much of a challenge for most of us.
But what about the more serious, large scale goals? For example, how do you visualize making the huge leap from a mundane office job to an exciting, globetrotting career, that will offer you both financial freedom and sense of fulfillment? Or how do you envision moving from a tiny cramped apartment to a glorious, well-designed home? These things may be more difficult to imagine, since they are outside your everyday experience and seem out of reach.
The solution is to break these visions down into smaller, more practical steps, instead of focusing solely on main outcome. We must tap into our life experience, as well as the creative juices we all have within. Build an image in your mind of the desired goal or outcome by visualizing the different aspects towards accomplishing the overall dream.
My Tarot Cards For Everlasting Love
Clients often seek out Tarot readings to help them decipher if the relationship they are currently in will eventually become their ‘happily ever after.’ Here are my top ten Tarot cards that indicate longevity and success in romantic partnerships in a Tarot reading.
The Hierophant
This card typically represents a serious, traditional figure who is sincere and prefers monogamy over the dating game.
4 of Wands
A celebration card that symbolizes happiness and harmony, especially within the home.
2 of Cups
When this card is combined with other positive minor or major arcana, it indicates that this is a match made in heaven.
10 of Pentacles
This typically represents family and financial security, so expect the relationship to go the distance.