Healing
Facing Our Inner Demons
I am in the process of relocating, again. Yes, I have done this many times before. I have repeatedly packed up my most treasured belongings to completely reboot my life in a different town, city, or state.
Some people find moving to be a logistical hassle and inconvenience, while others find it very challenging to say goodbye to friendly faces and familiar places. They therefore avoid it whenever possible. But for me relocating to a new place is an inspiring opportunity and invigorating adventure! Settling in a new place, to explore and discover, have novel experiences, and create new memories, is so very exciting. It keeps me young and motivated!
It is however important to note that I do not choose to relocate because I am running away from myself, my problems, or life’s challenges. It is true that some people relocate frequently because they hope it may solve their problems or help them to somehow feel happier. This is never a good idea.
The problem with moving for the wrong reasons is that you pack up and take all your troubles with you. At first, things are interesting and fun in the new location, but within a few months the ‘runners’ find themselves exactly where they were before. The problems they faced before, tend to be the same problems they now have in the new place. Right back to square one.
This kind of repeating pattern is something I often find with clients I do readings for. Someone I supported during a relationship break-up might call me one day, excited to tell me about their ‘perfect’ new love interest. Things are very exciting for a while for the new couple, until the same old patterns of dysfunctional behavior, conflict or drama begin to surface.
How To Deal With Toxic People
Toxic people can be incredibly difficult to deal with in both personal and professional relationships and can be detrimental to your personal happiness and well-being.
A toxic person is someone whose constant negativity and dysfunctional behavior causes drama in your life and drains you energy whenever they are around. Typical toxic traits include negativity, cynicism, apathy, lack of self-awareness, arrogance, entitlement, self-centeredness, domineering behavior, lack of empathy, being judgmental, dishonesty, anger outbursts, to name only a few.
The most extreme forms of toxicity includes personality disorders like antisocial, borderline, histrionic, and narcissistic personality disorder. A personality disorder is a rigid, deeply characteristic way of thinking, feeling and acting that severely affects the person’s mental well-being, personal relationships and social life.
Toxic people can however be tricky to identify at first, as their dysfunctional traits and behaviors can be very subtle. Some of them are also very good at ‘gaslighting,’ which makes interacting with them even more treacherous.
Gaslighting is a very toxic form of manipulation, game playing, or crazymaking in which you are constantly being misled, confused, lied to, and made to question your own truth and reality. You increasingly feel unsure about the accuracy of your own memories regarding certain events and your personal opinions and perceptions of the world. You may even begin to think that you are to blame for the toxic person’s actions, or that maybe something is very wrong with you, or worse, that you are losing your mind.
Stop Surviving And Start Living
The past three years, I have heard many people say they’re living in ‘survival mode.’ For some it has been about health and personal safety, for others it was isolation and loneliness, or bereavement and grief, or loss of employment and financial security.
It has certainly been an unprecedented, challenging time for our generation. And at times it has indeed been an actual fight for survival, which many tragically did not survive. Many families are still grieving the loss of their loved ones.
Sadly, for some it has also been a time of fearing many things that never happened. It has also been a time that revealed how some folks may be in need of a major ‘privilege check.’ For example, I personally know people who were excessively anxious during the quarantine lockdowns because they were eating too much and gaining weight, or were upset because they could not go to the salon or spa, while there are people in the world who were not even able to feed their families, or worse, had nowhere safe to take shelter.
The global pandemic has indeed been a unique opportunity to reflect on our beliefs, values, and what truly matters to us. Not everyone made the most of this prospect. It seems for some it is still difficult to move beyond the self-defeating mindset of ‘it’s a struggle to survive.’
Yes, life is sometimes definitely hard for all of us. The past three years proved that once again on a global scale. Life can throw major curve balls our way and we all handle things through our personal lens on the world. Some of us are more resilient than others; and some of us more privileged than others. Being in ‘survival mode’ is therefore relative to the individual.
The Ancient Art Of Meditation In Motion
I recently attended a Tai Chi class for the first time and absolutely loved it. I have seen this ancient martial art being practiced on television and in films before, and always thought I would like to experience it myself someday.
Tai Chi is an ancient Chinese tradition involving slow movements and breathwork that is essentially meditation in graceful motion. At this recent event, I enjoyed it so much that I intend to continue pursuing this practice.
Our instructor at the event also explained the many health benefits of practicing Tai Chi, which further fueled my interest. This may include reduced stress, improved mood, mental health and cognitive function, enhanced immune function, increased cariovascular health, better sleep patterns, and even reduced risk of falling in mature adults.
One of the key advantages of Tai Chi is that it has no age limit. In fact, I was surprised at the various age groups in attendance that day. It is certainly a wonderful mind, body, and soul pursuit for everyone, because it is a gentle and slow-paced ‘internal’ martial art that does not involve any competition.
The exact history and origins of Tai Chi is unclear. Some scholars believe it originated from ancient Taoist and Buddhist monasteries, while others contend that Tai chi is a purely Chinese art that originates from the spiritual wisdom traditions of Daoism and Confucianism. There are many styles of Tai Chi that differ in execution and training methods.
Should You Get Back With Your Ex?
Getting back with an ex can be challenging, especially if it ended badly the first time around. On one hand, it can be an opportunity to repair the damage and make things work, while on the other it can be a difficult decision with a variety of potential pitfalls.
Should you get back with your ex? It depends on you, your ex, and your unique situation. The pros and cons of getting back together varies depending on the people involved, the nature of the relationship, and the current circumstances. The advantages, opportunities and challenges of getting back with an ex may include the following:
Familiarity
One of the main advantages of reconnecting with your ex is the familiarity. You already know each other, so you don not have to start from scratch. This can be a great advantage, as it allows you to jump deeper into the ‘new’ relationship without having to first discover each other’s likes, dislikes, habits, quirks, expectations, hopes and dreams.
Getting back with an ex can be a great way to re-establish a comfortable relationship. You already know how to communicate with each other, you know what the other person needs and wants, and you know how to make each other happy. This familiarity can be very comforting, especially if it’s been a while since you last saw each other.
A Quantum Leap Into Powerful Manifestation
I have been experiencing profound manifestations in recent times. It all began with an unusual spiritual encounter that led to a heightened connection with my higher self and the spirit realm. It inspired a personal quantum leap that profoundly transformed my life and especially empowered me to achieve greater levels of successful manifestation.
For example, I struggled with limited physical mobility for over two decades due to peripheral neuropathy. It is a nerve condition that causes weakness, numbness and discomfort in my feet and toes that has made normal walking a painful challenge for many years.
But all that has been rapidly changing, due to my enhanced manifesting ability. I have recently begun to walk more frequently without a cane, and I fully expect to soon be able to permanently kick the old crutch to the curb!
One of my friends was so impressed by all the positive outcomes she has lately been witnessing in my life, that she also began making more of an effort with her own spiritual practice.
She used to labor with feelings of insecurity, sadness, and cynicism due to many disappointments in her life. As much as she had dreamed of becoming a wife and mother someday, it never materialized for her. The men that crossed her path never fully appreciated all her beautiful qualities.
Healing From A Relationship Break-Up
Breaking up with someone can be one of the most difficult experiences in life, especially when it is a long and deeply meaningful relationship. It can feel impossible to see any future without that person and very difficult to move on and find joy in life again.
I find many of my clients do not realize that dealing with a break-up or divorce is very similar to processing the bereavement and grief associated with the passing of a loved one. It is often accompanied by agonizing sorrow, intense feelings of despair, and an all-encompassing sense of loss and confusion.
According to clinical psychologist Dr. Tricia Wolanin it is actually “the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person we are losing was a big part of our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and heart space.”
It is however possible to recover, heal and move on after any breakup or divorce. In my work I have found the following strategies to be helpful for clients who go through this kind of life challenge.
Avoid Major Life Decisions
It is usually not a good idea to make any important life decisions if you are working through the aftermath of a breakup. This includes changing your job or career, relocating, or making other drastic changes to your life. It is vital to take some time to heal and reflect on the situation before making hasty life-changing decisions that you may later live to regret.