suffering
How To Deal With Energy Vampires And Psychic Bullies
Someone or something draining your energy? Most of the time it’s someone whom you are either trying to please, or get approval from, or someone you’re trying to help. You may begin to notice that something changes in your energy field each time you are around this person, or that you feel an imbalance of some sort afterwards. When I say being around a person, this can mean exposure to them through meeting in person, texting, talking over the phone, and even energetically, or psychically.
Energy bullies and psychic vampires are very good sucking the life force right out of you. Unfortunately, you may not notice this is happening, until after the fact. However, once you realize what has happened, identifying it is the first step to proactive healing, regeneration, and protection from allowing it to happen again.
Let’s have a closer look at what is actually taking place during an energy drain. Suppose you have a friend who is always complaining about her life, or often has a negative outlook on every situation she is involved in. This could also be a family member you meet for coffee, or whom you chat with over the phone regularly. And dealing with this person leaves you always energetically drained, deflated or emotionally unsettled.
I’d like to preface this with the fact that we all have times where we need to vent, or reach out for help when we are struggling with something. On the other hand, we also have moments where we need to be the voice of reason for someone else, or have an open mind and heart to listen and truly be there for the people we love and care about. Listening is so important in relationships, but if only one person is talking and one person is listening, over and over again, it is a drain on the listener.
Crossing Over Into Unconditional Love
Is my mom okay? Is my dad still in pain? Is my friend trying to speak to me? Is my grandmother proud or ashamed of me? Does my husband forgive me?
These are just a few of the many questions that I am asked by bereaved family members and friend, when they lose someone dear to them.
Firstly, it is important to understand that we are all spirit with a temporary physical body. And we have free will in how we choose to live our lives. Some of us choose to be kind and giving, while some are abusive and filled with anger. It is not our place to judge each other, simply to know that free will was a gift given to us before we came into this current physical body.
When I am asked these questions, the initial part of the answer is always going to be the same. The person that you lost simply left their physical body behind; their spirit never faltered.
When someone crosses over, no matter who, or how, the moment of crossing is always met with pure love. Their angel reaches out a hand and when they touch the light shows them that there is nothing to be afraid of.
They instantly know that the place where they are returning to is a place of light and harmony. It is a place of pure, unconditional love. Hate disappears, hurt or pain disappears. There is no shame, not disrespect. And there is only unconditional love for those that remain here on earth waiting for our turn to join them.
Maybe This Is How We Mend Our World
I have certainly been trespassed against over the years, as I suspect you may have too: maligned, misunderstood, abused, betrayed. Many of us have been hurt and wounded.
For many of us lifetimes of pain also seem to rise to the surface now, as if this era has come to collect on both the debts and the blessings.
Some of my wounds in this lifetime occurred at a young and tender age, when there seemed to be no healing granted; when the best I could do then was retreat and lick my wounds alone. There was no wise elder at my side, no sacred ceremony to mark the grief, no balm from the spirit realms. Just the aching silence of pain, and the quiet hope that one day, perhaps, I would understand why.
Since that time so long ago, I have also seen much vindication. This ability to witness what I have called “the coming around of the going around,” hasn’t been only in seeing karmic issues resolved for little slights, but for big wounds as well.
I’ve watched as Spirit, with its own perfect timing, allowed clarity and closure to emerge…sometimes years later, sometimes through unexpected channels. There is a strange and sacred justice to the Universe that rarely moves on our schedule, but always, always moves.
Justice. Yes, always in the end. But what of forgiveness?
It all shifted for me when I came to know the ‘big picture’ in the powerful prayer, “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those that trespass against us.” These words are not just religious rote, but an energetic key to spiritual evolution. Continue reading
The Magicless Misery Of ‘Compare And Despair’
I once attended a Toastmasters meeting where a gentleman was delivering his first speech to this specific group. It was an ice breaker to have us get acquainted with him. Instead of the typical short autobiographical introduction this speaker chose to give us an overview of his philosophy of life.
He told his audience that he sees himself entering a new phase of his life right now. He spoke about how important it is to get to know yourself and to take care of yourself first and foremost, and to always live in the moment.
After the speech and applause, the toastmaster reflected briefly on what the talk meant to him as he had listened. He said it reminded him of a mentor who had once, many years ago, said to him, “Compare… and despair”. If in life you are constantly comparing yourself to others, or comparing what you have with what others have, or what you feel you lack, or need to achieve, then all that will do is bring yourself unnecessary despair.
The only thing you should ever compare yourself against, his mentor added, is yesterday. Today did you do something constructive or grow in some way that makes you a better person than you were yesterday?
Too often we compare ourselves with our peers, both in our personal and professional lives. Why did he get a raise and not me? Why can I not find a soulmate like she did? Why can’t I be a successful entrepreneur like him? How come they get to have all these wonderful vacations?
The Empath’s Sacred Gift Of Compassion
Being an empath is more than just having a high sensitivity to the suffering of others. It is also the sacred gift of compassion. Empaths do not only perceive other people’s pain, but we also want to soothe, heal, and uplift them. These twin gifts of discernment and compassionate action are inseparable.
I have yet to meet an empath who doesn’t feel the calling to alleviate suffering in some way. In a world that so often feels cruel and chaotic, our tender hearts are now needed more than ever.
Compassion, both inward and outward, is a powerful force. It can transform relationships, heal roots of insecurity, and reshape the texture of our inner lives.
In leadership settings, compassionate responses consistently foster trust, deep connection, and lasting loyalty. Harsh reactions, on the other hand, often erect walls and breed resistance.
When someone feels seen, supported, and deeply cared for, their loyalty and dedication follow naturally. This principle applies not only in professional spheres but in every relationship we nurture.
I’ve come to see self-compassion as just as vital as the compassion we extend to others.
Empaths especially can be our own harshest critics. We measure ourselves against external standards and comparisons, often coming up short in our inner dialogue. But offering ourselves a warm, non-judgmental embrace opens new doors: to deeper confidence, heightened clarity, and a grounded sense of worth that doesn’t depend on outperforming someone else.
My Childhood Psychic Awakening
Being gifted from an early age, I had lots of questions, and wanted specific, detailed answers about psychic phenomena, spirituality and the mystical. This later became my norm to everything, and the world around me. The why’s and how’s continue to fascinate me in every aspect of my life.
My spirit guides have been very helpful over the years, as I found that humans can seldom answer my questions clearly, nor adequately. Over the years, my guides provided me with the stepping stones for my personal psychic development.
My guides assured me early on that they would never give me more than I could handle. They also made it clear that the truth of anything can always be confirmed by simply asking. I believed them, and each time I had an unusual sense or feeling, I asked for confirmation. I still do.
My first paranormal encounters and psychic experiences were with the animals. Their energy and communication is easier to understand, just like my guides, and they always communicate with unconditional love.
This also led to a special bond with nature, and especially the trees. Soon after came the wind, and the water, their sounds so soothing and calm. As a child, I always experienced a deep, tranquil feeling of well-being, serenity and inner peace whenever I was outside in nature. I still do.
My next extra-sensory experiences were of premonitions and forebodings concerning the safety and well-being of others. At such a young age these presentiments were tricky to relay to adults.
Your Spirit Guides Will Never Lead You Astray
“My guides must hate me! Why else would they lead me to things that cause me so much pain?” someone once said during a reading. “And where is my guardian angel when I need him?”
It was not the first time I’ve heard such sentiments from a distressed client. This kind of disappointment and frustration is not uncommon because it cuts to the heart of spiritual seeking.
It is certainly a valid concern. If angels, guides, and ancestors are meant to guide, support, and protect us, then why do they sometimes lead us to pain, heartache, and even trauma? Do they really have our backs, or are they inflicting suffering upon us for some strange reason?
I confess that there was a time in my own life when I also asked these kinds of questions.
But after years of working as a professional psychic and energy healer, as well as through my own spiritual growth journey, I’ve since come to a comforting conclusion. Our spirit helpers always operate from a place of divine wisdom, unconditional love and compassionate support.
Then why, you may ask, do bad things sometimes happen to good people? It’s simple, really. Any detour from our highest good does not occur because spirit somehow miscalculated, neglected, or misrepresented anything.
When we encounter trouble, it is usually our own doing, or something we co-created with others. Whatever the reason or cause, we alone are always the common denominator.
Below are a few examples of such self-inflicted calamities that I have repeatedly come across in my work, as well as how they differ from actual spirit guidance and divine intervention.