suffering
Not Everyone Chooses The Path Of Healing
You’ve probably heard the phrase “what they don’t know can’t hurt them.” Sometimes this is true, but there are also times when what people choose to ignore or disregard can cause real harm – not only to themselves, but also to those around them.
For those of us with psychic or spiritual gifts, there’s an added complexity: the ability to sense the struggles of others, which leads to the question of when and how to help.
Intuitives, channelers and healers are very aware of the energy of others, even when we’re just going about our daily routines. Whether it’s a stranger in the grocery store or a friend across the room, we tend to sense when someone is struggling with grief, trauma or stress.
We may choose to quietly send them comforting or healing energy, hoping it will ease their pain, even if only for a moment, yet the urge to help can be very strong in these situations. And while reaching out and offering help can be very uplifting or rewarding for everyone involved, there are times when our attempts to help are met with resistance, or worse, denial.
It’s especially challenging to see someone we care about turn a blind eye to their own needs or pain, and even more so when our support is disregarded or unappreciated.
One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn in both my personal and professional life is that I can only help those who are willing to help themselves. The sad truth is that sometimes people choose not to act on information that could improve their lives or change their destiny. Instead, their negativity, anger, or fear allows the problem to fester or the behavior to grow, affecting not only themselves but also their loved ones. Over time, this denial creates a cycle of suffering that affects physical, mental and karmic health and well-being, sometimes for generations.
Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself ~ Deborah Reber
I once confided in a friend my psychic insights regarding a family member of hers who was struggling with behavior that was detrimental to her health and the well-being of the family. I hoped that sharing my concern would encourage her to intervene, but she chose to direct. A year later, her relative’s health deteriorated significantly, an outcome I sensed would happen if left unaddressed.
In such situations, I believe that major setbacks such as illness often act as a wake-up call from the divine – a siren to awaken us from our denial so that we can face our truth, change our ways, or find healing.
Allowing Others To Walk Their Path
Over the years, I’ve had many experiences where I’ve witnessed the effects of people’s resistance to change. For example, just this morning I noticed a man in the grocery store with an aura so weak it seemed as if his last life energy was ebbing away. As I tuned in, I sensed that he had struggled with alcohol and nicotine addiction for decades and that many loved ones had tried to help him quit. I quietly sent him healing energy and whispered a prayer on his behalf and moved on, only to see him later in the parking lot smoking another cigarette.
Moments like these are important reminders that people must want to help themselves for true change or healing to occur. We can read for them, pray for them, offer guidance and support, but if they’re not ready to let go of their suffering, it’s important to respect their journey of free will. This can be especially challenging with family and friends, as it’s hard to witness their pain without wanting to intervene.
Ultimately, we cannot force someone to choose healing, no matter how much we want to help. If someone you love is caught in a cycle of denial or self-destruction, we can turn the situation over to God or the universe. We can pray for their peace and well-being, but ultimately they must go their own way.
This can be a painful realization for healers, empaths and parents. But as we learn to let go, we open ourselves to a healthier way of supporting others – one that respects their choices and sustains our own energy. And as we let go, we create space for people who are truly ready to embrace change and growth.
The Karma Of Denial In Families
Every holiday season I used to gather with a group of people whose lives seemed to be filled with tension and unhealed wounds. It’s painful to see how resentment, unresolved conflict and toxicity prevent them from embracing the joys of life and their many daily blessings.
One family member, now deceased, couldn’t even travel with her family in peace. Their holidays were always filled with frustration, impatience and drama, while negativity suffocated the atmosphere. Her choices created a painful void that no one could fill, no matter how much anyone wished for her healing, including me.
In such cases, I believe that denial can lead to physical illness and mental dysfunction. Anger, fear and bitterness take a toll on the body over time and slowly manifest as dysfunction and disease. When this energy permeates a family, it’s as if an invisible web of negativity surrounds each member, affecting their mental and physical health. As much as I wanted to help them find peace, I ultimately had to accept their resistance and let go.
Parents have a particularly profound influence on the emotional and spiritual well-being of their children. When children grow up in an environment of anger, impatience, or resentment, they often carry these energies forward, creating karmic patterns that affect not only their adult lives and their own families, but also many future generations. By choosing kindness, compassion, tolerance, patience, and positivity, parents can instead give their children the gift of a karmic legacy of resilience, well-being, fulfillment, and joy.
Remember, children’s inner dialogue is shaped by what their parents do, not what they say. Positive reinforcement, love, and patience teach them to value themselves, which protects them from the cycle of negativity that many families unwittingly perpetuate. Think before you speak or act in anger; each word and action leaves a mark that can either uplift or burden them for life.
But until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise” ~ Stephen R. Covey
How To Protect Your Own Energy
For psychics, healers and empaths, the desire to help can feel almost automatic, but we must remember that not everyone is ready to receive healing. Here are some strategies for protecting your own energy and well-being when dealing with those who aren’t open to receiving help or who are trying to take advantage of your energy:
Set clear boundaries: Determine when and how to engage with people who drain your energy. Limit the amount of time you spend with them and, when necessary, communicate your boundaries kindly but firmly. Being around people who radiate anger or despair for long periods of time can be draining. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t care; it’s a way to maintain your own well-being.
Use affirmations: Reinforce your boundaries and protect your energy with affirmations such as “I am protected and grounded” or “I allow only loving, healing energy to enter my space.
Limit emotional investment: Remind yourself that it’s okay to care without absorbing the struggles of others. Disconnect from their outcomes by focusing on what you can realistically offer and letting go of what you cannot control.
Let go with love: Recognize that everyone is on their own journey. If someone resists or refuses your help, release with compassion, recognizing that sometimes the most healing act is to let them learn in their own time and way.
Stop offering help uninvited: It’s natural to want to step in and help or send healing to someone in pain, but if the person hasn’t asked for it and isn’t seeking change, sending energy can be counterproductive. Recognize that some people have chosen their path and trying to intervene can drain your own resources. Let Spirit guide you in this process and trust your intuition. Just as our ancestors, spirit guides and angels will not interfere with our free will unless we ask for their help, we must accept and respect the free will of others.
Ask for divine intervention: Sometimes the best and only way to help is through prayer, turning the situation over to a higher power and the universe. We can’t heal, save, or help everyone, especially those who are not ready or willing. Through prayer, we can place our intentions positively into the capable hands of God, Source, Spirit, the Divine, while accepting the limits of our own influence and abilities.
Ground yourself daily: Use grounding techniques such as visualization or meditation to connect with the earth’s energy. Imagine roots extending from your feet deep into the earth, releasing any negativity and drawing in stabilizing energy.
Engage in energy clearing: Regularly clear your energy field with sage, palo santo, or other tools, especially after interactions with draining people.
Practice shielding: Visualize an energetic barrier around you-like a protective bubble or cloak-that filters out negativity and prevents unwanted energies from attaching to you.
Use protective crystals: Wear crystals such as black tourmaline, smoky quartz, or amethyst, which are known to absorb and transmute negative energy, especially during interactions that may be challenging.
Limit your exposure to negativity: Avoid people, places, situations, or activities that are overly negative, toxic, or draining. Be selective about how and where you spend your time, and disengage when situations become too intense. Social media exposure can also be a significant source of negativity and emotional triggers. Limit your time scrolling, especially on days when you are feeling vulnerable, and follow accounts that inspire and uplift you rather than those that add to your stress.
Replenish through self-care: Engage in activities and spiritual practices that recharge you, such as spending time in nature, practicing yoga, praying, or meditating. Maintaining a strong sense of self helps to buffer against energetic depletion.
Prioritize your inner circle: Invest your energy in relationships that uplift and support you. Surrounding yourself with like-minded, positive people helps sustain your energy and builds resilience.
The Unresolved Karmic Bonds Between Souls
Have you ever found yourself thinking about an old friend or flame that you haven’t spoken to in years, and they suddenly show up in your life in the most unexpected place? This often happens when we are still energetically connected to someone.
There are invisible energy cords that connect us to many different souls across dimensions and incarnations. These karmic connections are deep soul bonds that transcend time and space and span multiple lifetimes.
Those we love (or hate) – whether a partner or spouse, family members, friends – are all karmically connected to us.
Karmic connections aren’t easily severed. They also don’t simply disappear when we physically part ways in this world. These invisible cords keep us tied to those we’ve loved, lost, or even hurt—until we consciously choose to break free.
Karmic connections continue across lifetimes unless they are consciously severed and dissolved. But these energetic cords of attachment can be difficult to break. We may believe that a relationship is over on a logical level, but energetically the connection remains.
When betrayal or heartache occurs, an energy cord remains between the heart chakras of both individuals, often leading to a recurring cycle of pain and energy depletion due to these lingering connections.
Traumatic events, emotional or sexual attachments, promises, contracts and vows all create strong connections between souls. We often feel a sense of unfinished business when a promise or vow is broken or left unfulfilled.
I Am Soaring Free
When I do readings for clients to help guide them through the struggles or confusion they face in their lives, I understand what they are going through. I can relate on a deeply personal level, because I have been there myself, and I have experienced more than most.
Back in 2004, I had reached a devastating point in my life where my confidence, happiness, courage and self-worth were essentially non-existent. Fortunately, I was able to overcome those challenges with the guidance of spirit, and I now know from hard-earned experience that we can overcome much adversity.
As part of this journey of growth and healing, one of my guides gave me my spiritual name: Soaring Free.
Everyone has at least three guides in their lives. There are other guides and guardians that come and go in our lives, but the primary three stay with us throughout our lives to support and guide us.
It was my main guide who gave me my spirit name in a dream. I was to be known as “Soaring Free.” When I asked what this meant, I was shown that my life was to change direction significantly and that I was to live it as if I were soaring free like an eagle every day. I received several profound messages to awaken me at that time. It brought me to a higher level of understanding (and much confusion at first) than ever before.
What was the meaning of all this, I wondered? Why did I need a new name? Were these guides coming into my life real or just my imagination? Was I losing my mind? Was I really hearing and seeing these things, or was it just my own subconscious playing tricks on me? I had many questions at the time, and so began my journey of awakening and transformation.
The Hidden Wisdom In Our Traumatic Life Experiences
In the thousands of readings I have done over the years for people from all walks of life, I have repeatedly witnessed how the crucible of life’s trials and tribulations offers profound opportunities for spiritual growth and personal transformation.
It never ceases to amaze me how there is always a spark of wisdom or hidden blessing to be found in every life challenge or traumatic experience. Even in the worst-case scenarios, Spirit is always able to reveal the life lesson or karmic opportunity in these situations.
In a psychic reading, spirit in the form of our ancestors, spirit guides, angels and the divine can offer profound insight and guidance into our hardships and challenges.
With the akashic wisdom gathered through many generations, your higher self, ancestors, and members of your soul family can offer perspectives and experiences that shed light on your current life circumstances.
Their presence in a reading can provide a deep-rooted understanding of family patterns, ancestral karmic debts, and inherited gifts, allowing you to navigate life’s challenges with newfound clarity and resilience.
In addition, our spirit guides and angels serve as divine messengers, offering support and illumination on our journey through life. Their presence in a psychic reading brings messages of encouragement, protection and divine intervention.
The Value Of Anger In Manifesting Your Desires
A client recently talked about her struggles with anger and that no matter what she did, she could not get rid of her ‘anger issues’. She was concerned that her anger would inevitably attract and manifest more negativity in her life.
Spirit’s response was that there is value and wisdom in anger. The reality is that sometimes we get smoking hot, furious, explosively angry! It is a human response to events that go against our wishes and desires. If it were not a natural reaction, the experience of anger would not be part of our physical life journey.
The truth is that all negative emotions are actually a dear friend who is there to tell us something. It indicates that we are out of alignment with our Higher Self, Spirit and the Divine. When we experience fear, anxiety or anger it indicates that we are out of alignment and no longer in the flow.
A common “pain-causing” tendency is the stories we tell ourselves about the future. One of the most common narratives I find when working with clients is the one that begins: “I will be happy when…”
We create a story about the fulfilment of certain desires and then focus more on the result or outcome rather than the process and the present moment. When our happiness depends on the future fulfilment of a story, we are no longer in resonance with the present reality and out of alignment with the universal flow. We are no longer living fully, we are merely playing an impatient waiting game.
Grieving The Loss Of Loved Ones With Grace
Few of us have not experienced the loss of a loved one, a parent, a partner or even a child. Most of us have also witnessed or experienced the many ways in which people try to cope with such an insurmountable loss.
Coping with the huge gaping hole that such a loss leaves in our lives can have a negative impact on people’s behaviour. Some turn to extremes: alcohol, drug abuse, overeating, prescription drugs, or any of the other things people use to numb their pain and deflect the overwhelming feelings associated with loss and grief.
What we ultimately learn is that there is no set time frame in which such profound pain can be dealt with. It can take weeks, months, years or even decades for some. But even when the worst is over, we never really get over the sense of loss. We simply learn to cope and get on with our lives, forever changed, as best we can.
However, the greatest tribute we can pay the loved ones we have lost is to grieve with grace and dignity. Abusing substances or indulging in other distractions may temporarily numb our pain, but how does that honour the memory of the one we professed to care so much about? It also does not allow us to confront and process our emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Grieving is natural and necessary. When we try to avoid our grief, we miss out on opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and ultimately finding peace with the loss.
A Christian Mystic’s Guide To Dealing With Pain
Our search for the meaning of pain, hardship, and suffering is a profound and enduring human endeavor.
Throughout history, our spiritual beliefs and religious teachings have helped us understand and find meaning in life’s challenges and painful experiences.
These interpretations provide comfort, guidance, and a sense of peace in the face of adversity as we learn that suffering has a purpose or can lead to spiritual growth, enlightenment, or a deeper connection with the divine.
Our spiritual quest to better understand pain is driven by a deep desire to make sense of life’s challenges and to discover how these difficult experiences fit into the larger tapestry of our existence.
Religions and spiritual wisdom traditions around the world offer different perspectives on pain and suffering, each with its own explanation for why these experiences occur and how they should be approached or understood.
These diverse perspectives all share certain common threads: that the origins of pain and suffering lie in the concept of duality; that there is meaning to be found in suffering; and that through faith, reflection, and spiritual practice we can transcend the pain caused by duality and connect with something greater than ourselves.