shadow work
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Our Deepest Wound Can Become Our Greatest Power
Mercury retrograde thankfully ends today! Astrologers predicted this retrograde would allow us the freedom to purify our lives by releasing people, circumstances, and behaviors that are holding us back or no longer serve us. It certainly kicked up a lot of old wounds and baggage for many of my clients, and also for myself.
This was probably due to a number of reasons, including Uranus and Venus both being retrograde at the same time, and the combination of Mercury retrograde occurring along with a Full Moon in Cancer on January 17th. Many people I did readings for during this astrological period were all dealing with painful memories, unhealed traumas, and intense emotions.
At one point I decided to take a break myself, to create some space and allow my own unresolved emotion to surface. Every time I found becoming unnecessarily defensive, or attempting to place blame on others, I immediately pivoted my attention back to myself and ventured within – to where the origination of this pain truly stemmed from.
I especially found my thoughts were constantly going to my parents and particularly to my mother. My maternal grandmother passed away when my mom was only 13 years old. This has been a recurring theme throughout my life, with me wondering if this had anything to do with my mom always being so hard on me? I, fact, it became the official ‘excuse’ for our difficult relationship.
My recent retrograde self-exploration made me realize that no matter how hard my brain might try to rationalize this old pain, my body still would not accept it. For the first time in all these years, I finally allowed myself to go inside this wound, to examine my inner truth. I had a conversation with this old wound and allowed it to speak to me directly.
The Lotus Flower Reading
I recently attended an online psychic development workshop. In one of the tasks, we had to partner with another student and do a ‘flower reading.’ I know touching an object using psychometry works well in readings, but this is something else.
Our teacher paired us up and we didn’t know in advance with whom. We also had to intuitively pick a flower for our partner beforehand. At the beginning of the session, we had to show the other person the actual flower or a color photo of the flower we had chosen for them on our shared screens.
In preparation for this, I placed many pieces of paper, each with the name of a different flower on it, into a bag, shook it up, and drew one. Spirit guided me to select the Indian lotus flower or nelumbo nucifera.
When it was my turn to read for my classmate, I relaxed and observed the image of the lovely white lotus in front of me. The depth of information that came forth in the reading about her past, how her life was now, and what lay ahead, was truly amazing!
The reading revealed that she was going to be blossoming soon like the lotus, because she currently finds herself in a strong development stage. I later learned that she’d been through some dark times, almost giving up on herself. She had recently begun doing deep shadow work, as well as exploring her psychic development.
She is also recovering from a recent trauma and the lotus is traditionally known for being the ideal gift for someone recovering from any traumatic experience or physical injury. Many years ago, I attended a Yoga class during which the challenges of the lotus position was discussed in-depth. The teacher said that through proper breathwork and becoming more flexible, one’s body will allow you to achieve this pose.
I was only 19 years old at the time and not very supple. I saw no hope of achieving that position for quite some time. However, only a few classes later, we did a session during which a lot of emphasis was placed on our breathing. And to my amazement, I was able to easily get into the lotus position!
The Signs of Spiritual Awakening
Spiritual awakening is not just about inner peace, raised consciousness or becoming a role-model of enlightenment. It’s also a messy journey!
So, what exactly is a ‘spiritual awakening?’ Well, there isn’t one universally accepted definition, because the experience or journey is unique to each person. Also, it’s a lifelong process, and the time of awakening is just the beginning.
Essentially spiritual awakening is firstly a significant shift in one’s personal perspective, typically characterized by a recognition of observer consciousness. It is the realization that the true self or ‘I’ is the observer of your thoughts, feelings and experiences. You are not your thoughts, feelings and experiences, but merely the observer of your thoughts, feelings and experiences.
Awakening also brings a sense of expanded awareness which prompts us to examine our beliefs about ourselves and the world through a more critical lens. This usually sparks a quest for authentic truth and a thirst for deeper knowledge and understanding of ourselves and the world.
The awakened person begins to rebel against what they have been told to believe on all levels of their experience of themselves and the world. Awakening returns us to a state of newfound curiosity about our existence. We begin to explore what actually informs our existing beliefs, to determine if they serve our highest good, or not.
The awakened person also accepts their role as a conscious co-creator and takes responsibility for healing and releasing that which doesn’t serve their highest good.
In recent times more and more people all over the world are beginning to awaken. Triggers for awakening are often major life events such as marriage, divorce, pregnancy, bereavement, loss, trauma or traumatic events, major transitions, career changes, and so on. But anything can trigger a spiritual awakening. It can also simply happen due to a sense of general dissatisfaction with life and yearning for more depth, meaning and purpose.
Making The Most Of Today’s New Moon In Pisces
The New Moon in Pisces today offers us the chance to get in touch with out creative side and enhance our intuitive gifts.
Pisces is the zodiac sign of fluidity, inspiration, sensitivity, perception, softness, and going within. This cycle gives us the opportunity to connect with spirit and trust in the mysteries of life, without over analyzing every detail.
Going with the flow and patience is the key to thriving during this month’s New Moon. Since Pisces ends the zodiac wheel, it is a wonderful transit to release and tie up any loose ends, before the Aries New Moon next month.
Pisces is a water sign. So, staying hydrated, getting in touch with our deeper emotions and beautifying our physical bodies will create lovely results moving forward.
The shadow side of Pisces involves being too passive, self-defeating, over-indulgent, having a victim mentality, lacking focus, addictive behavior and holding onto unhealthy situations or people who are toxic.
Pisces often times has dualistic tendencies in extreme, which means that it will be vital to question anything that is out of balance and correct it. These changes don’t necessarily have to happen overnight, but acknowledging them now will allow you to heal whatever is holding you back from living your best life.
The What-ifs That Go Bump In The Night
When I grow up, I want to be a lightworker! Okay, so I’ve grown up and I’ve been a psychic and healer for many years. The question now is, how do I take back, or erase from my mind’s eye all that I’ve seen? ‘Wounded healer, heal thyself’ is a very old truth, which still holds merit after many years of being bandied about.
Perhaps today it is more true than ever. In today’s world we are dealing with much more fear and what-ifs than ever before in our lifetime. Someone, or something, somewhere – the news media for one – is always preying on our fears. Panic and perpetual fear is the name of the game for many in our world these days.
Psychics, astrologers, mediums, diviners, and energy healers, among other, are known by the universal term ‘lightworkers.’ This is ironic, considering we often have to delve into the darkest fears of most people head-first, in order to help our fellow humans come to some form of clarity, healing or conclusion.
And what happens when the lightworker’s battery begins to fade from overuse and not enough recharging? Can helping other people face their fears make our own fears and limiting beliefs become larger by proxy, thus causing our own light to dim?
Lightworkers are born healers and teachers. At our core we want to help everyone. We know that inner peace comes from within. However, some of our clients are open to guidance, while others are not. Maybe I only speak for myself as a healer, but those who refuse guidance often haunt me far longer than those who embrace it. They are the ones who keep me up at night. They are the ones who make me doubt and question what I know in my heart to be true, based on my ability to listen to a Higher Power and relay messages spirit wants to share.
Face your fears, I tell myself. Even as a wounded healer, I must continue to face my self-doubt and remember to look upon the bright side: the countless souls whose lives I have been blessed to change and help make into something brighter, better and more fulfilling.