Facing Our Inner Demons

I am in the process of relocating, again. Yes, I have done this many times before. I have repeatedly packed up my most treasured belongings to completely reboot my life in a different town, city, or state.

Some people find moving to be a logistical hassle and inconvenience, while others find it very challenging to say goodbye to friendly faces and familiar places. They therefore avoid it whenever possible. But for me relocating to a new place is an inspiring opportunity and invigorating adventure! Settling in a new place, to explore and discover, have novel experiences, and create new memories, is so very exciting. It keeps me young and motivated!

It is however important to note that I do not choose to relocate because I am running away from myself, my problems, or life’s challenges. It is true that some people relocate frequently because they hope it may solve their problems or help them to somehow feel happier. This is never a good idea.

The problem with moving for the wrong reasons is that you pack up and take all your troubles with you. At first, things are interesting and fun in the new location, but within a few months the ‘runners’ find themselves exactly where they were before. The problems they faced before, tend to be the same problems they now have in the new place. Right back to square one.

This kind of repeating pattern is something I often find with clients I do readings for. Someone I supported during a relationship break-up might call me one day, excited to tell me about their ‘perfect’ new love interest. Things are very exciting for a while for the new couple, until the same old patterns of dysfunctional behavior, conflict or drama begin to surface.

People can change, learn, and grow, and it’s better to face your demons instead of perpetually running away from them ~ Jessica Rothe

The recent hope or excitement soon turns into frustration or disappointment. Then the client cannot understand why, no matter how many different people they have dated, the same problems always keep repeating. The truth is we cannot find the answers to our own shortcomings or dysfunction in another person, or place.

Wherever we go, whomever we date, there we will be…exactly as we were before. Much as we would like to place the blame for our problems on external factors and influences, including other people, the core of our problems often lie within ourselves.

Think about it and be honest. What is the only common denominator of all our failed relationships, disastrous relocations, unsuccessful job changes, botched friendships? It is usually us!

Wherever you go, there you are! You can’t run away from yourself, or the underlying situation, no matter where you go ~ Andrew James Pritchard

No matter who we connect with romantically, where we work, who we hang out with, or where we move to – if we do not take personal responsibility for healing our inner demons, they will find their way into every new relationship, situation, or circumstance.

It is essential to reflect on what is causing us to repeat the same toxic patterns in our life. It is most likely due to something that is unresolved or missing within us, or an internal wound we must first heal, before we can build a healthy relationship with someone else or build a successful life elsewhere.