Are You Stuck In Victim Mode?

We all have had at least one very bad experience in our lives: a twist of fate, a major setback, an intense trauma, a tragic loss. In these moments of extreme adversity, we are usually victims of circumstances beyond our control.

But these challenging life events typically serve a higher purpose. Everything happens for a reason. It is therefore vital that we gather whatever hard-earned wisdom, personal growth or self-empowerment we possibly can from such experiences. If we do not, our suffering would have been in vain.

We can only accomplish this if we get up, dust ourselves off, find resilience within, and courageously begin to move forward.

Sadly, some people tend to become stuck in victim mode long after these experiences. This obviously does not promote their personal growth and well-being, nor does it improve or change their life for better. On the contrary, as long as we remain trapped in a victim mentality, the negative life experience will have served no purpose and the hardship we suffered will have been in vain.

All the challenges, lessons and trials in our life are invitations and opportunities for us to grow and expand. This is true transformation. Easy lives are meaningless lives.

Now, we are sometimes allowed to complain and say ‘life sucks,’ because from at times we also get caught up in the learning and transformation processes of other people. However, we are also allowed to consciously reject that. We are not required to take on the lessons of others.

We are stuck in the maize that we created. Most people keep complaining about being stuck rather than finding the way out, and they call themselves unlucky! ~ Maddy Malhotra

We do not always realize consciously that have become stuck in victim mode. The victim mindset is often subconscious. One way to recognize that we might have a victim mindset is to pay attention to the typical things we tend think and say.

• Everything is always worse for me compared to other people!
• It works for others, but never for me.
• I’ve experienced so many terrible things, there’s nothing that can still shock or surprise me.
• Everyone is happy, except me.
• There’s nothing I can do about it.
• If that hadn’t happened, I would have been so much more successful today.
• It’s my parents’ fault that I’m like this.
• It is the government’s (church’s / my family’s / my employer’s) fault that my life is so miserable.
• No one loves me, because I am not loveable.
• Life is always against me.
• The Universe is not on my side.

The truth is life or the universe is never against us. It is always for us. We all came here with certain soul tasks to fulfill. Our life journey is about personal and spiritual growth, about expanding consciousness, and about recognizing that we are the creators of our own life experience and masters of our own destiny.

After a major life challenge, it is vital we do the necessary work to eventually step out of the victim role. We can only achieve this if we take personal responsibility for our recovery, healing, growth, and future happiness. And this can be a shorter or longer process, depending on our own resilience, courage, persistence, blockages and resistance. Whatever the case may be, just always remember: you no longer need to be a victim.