self-delusion
Actions Speak Louder Than Words!
Actions are key in a relationship of any kind, whether it be with family, friends, co-workers, romantic partners, or spouses. Actions indeed speak louder than words! Our behavior and deeds reveal who we truly are. If I was only allowed to offer my clients one piece of relationship advice for the rest of my life, then this would be it: trust what they do, not what they say.
Here is how to look at it. Let’s say you have arranged to go on a date with someone, but they do not show up, and they have all kinds of excuses later. Okay, life happens. So, they did not notify you of their no-show, and they did not care about your feelings in contacting you. Not good. I am not saying dump them right away, but carefully consider how they handled the situation with you. Do they at least appear to care?
This may be a pattern of theirs, so here is where you already need to start watching their actions more carefully. This event may have been due to a random set of unfortunate circumstances beyond their control, or it is an early ‘red flag’ of who they really are. If someone is okay with disappointing or hurting you with the little things, they will have no problem doing the same someday when it truly matters.
Here is another example that I often find in readings: cheating. Let’s say your boyfriend cheated once, and you caught them. He is all upset with himself, and you guys talk it out. He promises he will never do it again. Now, it is one thing for him to say it, but quite another for him to actually keep his word! His future actions will ultimately reveal the truth. If he repeats the same behavior, then his cheating is not just a mistake or a red flag – it is a dealbreaker!
Your Life Reflects Your Inner Being
Sometimes people have many issues with others in their life while they neglect to acknowledge that many of these problems are merely a mirror reflection of their inner being. This denial of personal responsibility is often the main cause of conflicts and drama in many people’s lives.
Everyone faces challenges in life. It is how these challenges are managed and released that gives one inner strength and peace. The answers are always within. But when we refuse to go within and face our inner truths, while instead venting our frustration, anger, envy, fear, and other pent-up negative emotions, it just brings so much more of the same crashing down on us.
That person you see with a huge smile on her face…her life is not necessarily all ‘sunshine and roses.’ Maybe she has just chosen to live with joy and gratitude in the present moment, instead of dwelling in the past or obsessing over the future. Maybe she has chosen to release that person or circumstance that had caused her pain or grief, and have chosen to move forward in her life with a knowing that bigger, better blessings are awaiting her on the other side of the pain.
The concept is simple, but the work is difficult. I am just as guilty of this human shortcoming as the next person. In my own life, I have also held onto things for so long that it stunted my spiritual, emotional, romantic, and financial growth. I held on to the resentment, bitterness, and vengeful thoughts, and it stunted me to the point that I found myself stuck in a very dark state of mind for a long, long time.
However, once I realized that both my psychic reading work and energy healing practice are absolutely dependent on clarity, love, compassion, and positive energy, I became determined to find ways to release the past and move forward, without any ill will towards another. Was it easy to find my way back to my inner truth and higher self? No, it was not. Was it worth the effort? Definitely!
In One Ear, And Out the Other
We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.
I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.
One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?
During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.
Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.
Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.
The Self-Fulfilling Fear Of A ‘Bad Luck Curse’
Some folks who consult with reputable psychics for the first time sometimes believe that the many unfortunate things that have been happening to them is due to some ‘family curse’ or ‘bad luck hex.’ While it may indeed seem like certain people and their families do have more than their fair share of ill-fated things happen to them, sometimes through several generations, this kind of superstition is usually just an overreaction to challenging life events, and too often merely an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for one’s own choices.
An famous example of a so-called family curse is the Kennedy family, who suffered a series of bizarre accidents, premature deaths, assassinations, and various other setbacks and calamities, including several ill-fated romantic relationships that all started out great, but then took a turn for the worse and ended in tragedy and disaster.
Whenever I read for a client who believes they are somehow ‘cursed,’ I always advise them that blaming a so-called ‘curse’ for the challenges and adversities in their life will never solve their problems, nor help them create a better life in the future.
Sometimes people are not ready and open to take an honest look at their own part in creating certain life events through their free will choices and decisions. When a relationship ends badly, for example, it is so much easier and convenient to simply imagine, “Oh, well I am probably cursed in the love department.” Meanwhile, the red flags for this relationship were waving high and bright since the very beginning, but they so desperately wanted a relationship that they ignored the early warning signs.
If we would only listen to our gut, and to the people who truly care about us, we will more often experience the blessing of good fortune, instead of ‘bad luck.’ Spirit always warns us early on when we are making bad life choices and heading for disaster. Some of these messages come courtesy of our intuition and inner guidance, some are revealed to us in dreams, signs, synchronicities and psychic readings, and some warnings reach us through our friends and relatives. Sadly, some people blame everything instead on ‘bad luck’ or ‘curses,’ as they would rather believe they have been cursed than take any personal responsibility by accepting they made a poor choices or decisions.
New Beliefs To Live Your Best Life
The stress and challenges of late and the negative energies in our world in recent times have brought many of us to a point of feeling anxious, frustrated, worried and confused. Some people have even become fearful of leaving their homes. But the time has come to move beyond the negativity and fear and start living our best life again.
Fear is powerful. Fear can keep us trapped in a mental prison of our own making and can prevent us from moving forward. More often than not our worst fears are unfounded and not based in reality or truth.
Belief is also powerful. Beliefs can be negative or positive, true or false. Beliefs originate from within and, again, it is up to each of us to decide if our beliefs are true, or if merely keeps us stuck.
Look deeply at your fears and beliefs. Consider all the fears and beliefs that you sense may be holding you back. Make a list and leave some spaces between each line. When you are done, carefully review your list. Read each line carefully. Once you have done this, think of a truth or positive belief to counteract each of the items on your list and write it underneath each one. Now read the new list out loud to yourself. For example:
False belief: I have no money to do anything.
Counter belief: I do have some money. I have food on my table, a roof over my head, clothes on my back, and I a few extra nickels in my wallet. I do have money to do things. And if I set my mind to it, I can earn some more money.
It is that simple to come up with new beliefs. However, the difficult part is programming each positive statement in your psyche. Therefore, it is important to keep it simple, realistic and truthful.
For example, ‘having a few nickels’ is a simple truth that counters the false belief that you ‘have no money.’ it is simply not true that you have no money. You do have a few extra nickels…and that is indeed money. In other words, you have now erased the lie that you believed and changed it to the truth that is. That is the simplicity of this exercise.
Dating A Married Man
The subject of dating married men and being ‘the other women’ is something that for obvious reasons is seldom talked about. But I feel it might be healthy and necessary to discuss this more openly, as it is a much more complex issue than is often realized.
For example, many women who become involved with married men do not always know initially that he is married. In my experience, helping many female clients over the years in this predicament, many woman get into it by default after being misled by the man, only to find out later that he is married and has no plan of ever leaving his wife.
I could write a book on all the reasons why married men do not leave their wives. But instead, I think it is more important to focus on why so many women continue these affairs, once they find out he is married.
Now, you would think the empowered, modern woman of today would not put up with such a situation, but they do. I find these women are often so much in love and hopeful for what might be someday, that they convince themselves their situation is unique or different, and that he is unique or different. The truth is usually quite the opposite.
How to break free from this dead-end situationship? It can be challenging for sure, but certainly possible. I believe the key is self-love and self-worth. It requires the courage to step forward and say, “I deserve more.’
If you are caught up in a relationship with a married man, know that is seldom ends well for any of the parties involved. The chances that the outcome of your situation will be the exception to the rule is most unlikely. Stay true to your highest good and make the necessary changes for your future happiness.
Are You Married To A Cheater?
Are you married to a man who you think might be a cheater? It is more common than one might think. The bulk of my calls are about just this question: is he cheating?
Usually, if a client is asking this question, they already know the answer. They simply need either confirmation, or clarification. Their intuition is telling them something is going on. Often there are also many clues.
However, many callers still do not want to believe it is true, when I see that their partner is indeed being unfaithful to them. Some continue to ignore the signs and live in denial it until everything eventually comes to a head and they finally have to face it.
What to do if you think your husband is cheating? Question him by being open, direct and honest. Get the answers you need.tru
If he is not forthcoming, find other ways to uncover the truth and piece things together. Get a psychic reading. Hire a private detective. Check his credit card statements and chat messages. You have a right to know the truth
If you find out that he has been cheating, then seek counselling first, before making any major decisions or drastic changes. First find out exactly what kind of situation you are in and if and how it can be fixed, or not.
Getting to the core and extent of the problem in a sensible, calm manner is usually the best first step. Don’t allow his bad choices to turn your entire life upside down.
I remember a client who gave everything to her marriage, while her husband was cheating. She was suspicious, but never followed her gut. It all came crashing down when he arrived home one day and dropped the bomb that the other woman he was having an affair with was now pregnant with his child. This was an unbearable shock, as my client was unable to have children.