In One Ear, And Out the Other

We have all had a frustrating conversation with someone that was just not listening at all. I call it ‘the lights are on, but nobody is home’ conversations. In my opinion the world would be a better place if we all communicate more clearly, sincerely, and kindly.

I have one friend with whom it is very easy to tell that she has checked out of a conversation. She gets that blank look in her eyes, vaguely staring into the distance, drifting off into her own thoughts. Then it becomes utterly pointless to continue the conversation with her, as I might as well be talking to myself.

One sure way to tell if a person has checked out of the conversation is when they keep checking their phone. How rude is that? What could possible be on that phone screen that is so much more important than a heartfelt, meaningful conversation with a friend?

During the pandemic, I did not see one of my best friends for more than two years. When we finally met up after all this time, she spent most of our time together checking her phone messages and scrolling her social media feeds. I guess I missed her company more, than she did mine.

Of course, we all ‘space out’ in conversation sometimes, but if it happens constantly then it may be time to find out why? One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is when people feel they are not being heard. Clear communication, sincere interest, and active listening are vital ingredients in a caring, supportive relationship.

Another important aspect in any conversation is our tone of voice. It is often not what we say, but how say it that matters most. It is always amazing to me when I hear someone talk to strangers in a manner and tone of voice that is much kinder and more sincere, than the tone they use with the people closest to them.

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand ~ Karl A. Menniger

Healthy, constructive communication begins in childhood. If children are ignored, disregarded, or dismissed on a rehular basis, chances are they will not be the best listeners as adults. And kids that are constantly scolded, hearing the same old threats and criticisms every day, soon learn to tune it all out. It will ultimately just go in one ear and out the other. Children also never forget unkind words. It becomes a learned behavior that will continue into their adult life.

When I am doing a reading, the information I sometimes have to convey is not always what my client really wants to hear. I always take care to deliver unpleasant news and sobering truths in the kindest way possible, but sometimes it is clear that the message is going in one ear…and out the other.

It is also no surprise to find that those ‘in one ear, out the other’ clients have had readings with several other psychics. “You are just telling me exactly what all the others have also said,” they will confess. Well, the conclusion is obvious: if you repeatedly receive the same guidance from several psychic advisors, you may want to pay closer attention to what they are saying.

Yes, it is always a good idea to get a second, or even a third opinion. But if one feels compelled to consult numerous psychics to find just that one reader who will hopefully tell you what you want to hear, it becomes a pointless pursuit, and sometimes even a hazardous fool’s errand.

Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply ~ Roy T. Bennett

In my opinion someone who does this kind of ‘psychic surfing,’ will eventually find a reading with someone who finally tells them what they want to hear, instead of the truth aimed at their highest good – which usually only leads to false hope, procrastination, disappointment, heartache, and unfortunate life choices.

They say birds of a feather flock together. We tend to associate with like-minded people, with whom we have many things in common. Therefore, if we often check out of conversations, chances are others will check out of conversation with us too. Negative, toxic people find other negative, toxic people to hang out with. And people who don’t care much about pursuing their highest good because they are careless with the truth, will in time find advisors of like mind.