emotional challenges
Find Your Calm In Crystals
It’s been a stressful couple of years for everyone, and stress-relief can be hard to accomplish. Stress, if untreated, can lead to a host of physical and emotional symptoms. But dealing with the stress of everyday life can be made easier with the right crystals in your spiritual practice.
When starting to work with these amazing crystals and stones, consider this: what causes stress in your life in the first place? Usually, it happens when we feel out of control and our energies aren’t properly centered and grounded. Earth-toned crystals such as smoke quartz (associated with the Earth element for stability) and tourmaline (release of negative energies) bring us to a baseline of positive energies to de-stress.
Soothing colored colors like blue (chrysocolla, aquamarine, lapis lazuli, larimar), violet (rhodonite, amethyst, tanzberry quartz, lepidolite), and white and grey (scolecite, howlite, agate) are traditionally associated with tranquillity and serenity. The cooler hues reflect the elements of water, or emotions, and air, our thoughts.
If you use some of these stress-relieving crystals in your meditations, imagine them help tame the runaway thoughts or feelings which cause so much turmoil. In the chakras, these are the Crown Chakra (thoughts) and Third Eye Chakra (emotions, psychic intuition), which are also represented by blues and purples.
Sometimes stress is less generalized and more related to one specific area in life. Which area is this for you? Knowing will help select the best crystal for your needs. If you’re overcome with panic attacks, amethyst (a well-known stress reliever) or blue sodalite (the Stone of Peace) are good choices.
Perhaps you’re having difficulty with communication at work or in a relationship, so blue lace agate (opening channels) or lapis lazuli (confidence) will work better for you. The possibilities for your crystals are endless: you might want to keep them with you in your pocket, in a necklace or bracelet, or create a special arrangement in your home or office.
Leave Some Space For Grace
When I read energy, it is shown to me in terms of the strength of that energy. In other words, the strength of the energy is directly tied to its manifestation here in the physical realm. As above, so below.
When we are angry or in conflict, we are often heavily invested in simply being right. And the more the argument evolves… the more virulent the energy becomes. This is never a hopeful, healthy precursor to manifesting better things in our life.
Fortunately, there is the powerful spiritual and emotional energy that love and forgiveness can also manifest in our lives, to counteract the impact of negative emotional energies.
A sister to the energies of love and forgiveness that is not always afforded equal honor, bit is equally powerful is the gift of grace. You may have heard of ‘grace under pressure?’ Essayist William Hazlitt defines grace as “the outward expression of the inward harmony of the soul.”
So, what is grace? Webster’s Dictionary defines grace as both a noun and a verb. Noun: unmerited favor, kindness undeserved. Verb: to confer dignity or honor on, or to add beauty to.
Grace is the ‘breath’ we take between anger and forgiveness. It is a choice to be silent, hold our tongue, and open the door for peace to enter into a challenging situation.
Angels naturally possess infinite grace, and many times the angels I work with have to remind me to hold my tongue, think before I speak, and simply be silent and listen to the person I am angry with. Being heard even if we are not understood is very validating. It says to the other person, “you are important to me, what you are feeling and thinking matters to me”. What you give you will receive.
Keeping The Family Out Of Your Love Life
Family and our relatives have a huge impact on our romantic lives, whether we realize it or not. We bring so much from the way we were raised into our love relationships and marriages.
But having had a difficult childhood does not necessarily set us up for challenges and failure in our relationships. In fact, for those who are self-aware it can be an advantage of choosing not to bring the toxic drama of your childhood home into a current relationship.
For example, if you saw your father treat your mother without respect, you might set your mind to never allowing that happen in your own relationship. This kind of courage and personal responsibility can break the cycle.
We all have things that happen in childhood things that happen that are out of our control, it is all in how you deal with them that forms us as adults. We have a choice always.
The other aspect is culture and the values and customs with which we were raised. Depending on the circumstances it can have a significant impact on our relationships. Once again it is a choice how we want to handle it. Do we follow the family traditions, or not?
It takes courage and an open mind to march to your own drum. Standing up for what you believe can also go a long way. Sometimes this is vital to ensure a healthy, happy relationship that will last.
Of course, the biggest challenge for most couples is having the family up in your relationship business. Do your relatives influence your decisions and interfere in your relationship? Navigating a relationship or marriage successfully in this day and age is challenging enough.
Conscious Conflict Resolution
Dealing with tension and conflict is one of the most challenging dynamics in friendships and relationships. We have all found ourselves in a shouting match with someone we love, or concluding an argument feeling awful and unresolved.
Getting to the root of an issue without all the drama sometimes feels impossible. But conflict resolution is a skill, and one that can be honed with practice and patience.
The following strategies are helpful in shifting from overreaction to consciously seeking resolution when faced with difficult conversations or conflict scenarios.
Pause For Self-Awareness
Pause and identify what you are feeling. Step back from the feeling and merely observe it, as well as any thoughts that come along with the feeling.
Recognize that ‘you’ are not the feeling; it is a simply a sensation you are experiencing. Often people will say they are ‘angry,’ but words are powerful and this indicates that you have identified with the anger. You are actually saying: ‘I am anger.’
Do not choose to ‘be anger.’ You are merely experiencing anger. Shifting this mindset can help to separate your rational mind, from the emotional sensation of anger (or hurt, or whatever feeling you may be experiencing).
Once you are able to observe your emotions and thoughts in this way, it becomes much easier to avoid reacting from them. By not reacting, you give yourself the opportunity to think about your response first, and consciously choose your course of action.
How To Avoid Empath Ego-Traps
Being an empowered empath is a wonderful gift and blessing. But the empath ‘label’ can also become problematic when it is misconceived by some as meaning more than it truly signifies.
There are very common ego-traps that some empaths and highly sensitive people get hung up on with regards their empathic experiences. These ego-traps can be very counterproductive, as it may actually be holding them back from meaningful personal growth and progressing our spiritual path.
These ego traps are easy to get wrapped up in, but they are not a sign of weakness or failure. The experience of being an empath is often intense and confusing. These ego-traps offer lessons for us that often go hand-in-hand with life as an empath.
Some of the typical empath ego-traps are as follows:
Empaths Always Know Best
Assuming we are always right about how we ‘read’ a situation or person, or needing to save everyone and be everybody’s ‘therapist.’ We may have a good read that something is amiss, or that someone is upset, but its unwise to assume we always know exactly why.
Often empaths will feel something from someone and decide for themselves why that person is feeling that way. This is a good way to create conflict and tension in relationships! Instead of assuming, rather ask.
And if the person doesn’t want to talk about it, try assuming it is not about you, and that maybe you have no idea what is really upsetting them. Start there. Give the person space and do not make it about you. Continue reading
Being An Empath Is No Excuse
There’s nothing wrong with identifying as an empath. Actually, it can be beneficial to step into this truth for oneself, and own your empathic experiences as a significant aspect of your life.
But for many people it is difficult to take on this ‘label,’ because they don’t feel worthy or they feel they are saying, “I’m more special than other people.” In these cases, there is great benefit in coming to terms with being an empath because it doesn’t have to mean either of those things.
Being an empath is not something they have to be worthy of – it’s a trait they either have or don’t have. And it’s not a matter of being better or ‘more special’ than anyone else – that notion comes from a fear of being judged.
Being an empath means being highly sensitive to emotional energies, and feeling those emotions in your own body as if they were your own. The term ‘empath’ is just a word we can use to describe this trait.
There is some scientific evidence for the empath experience. Studies* show we all have a very specific group of cells in our brain responsible for empathy and compassion, called the Mirror Neuron System. In the brain of highly empathic people, it is thought this group of cells may be hyperactive or hypersensitive.
Being an empath is a wonderful blessing and gift, instead of it being a ‘curse,’ weakness or disability. However, it is important for the empath to become empowered and own their sensitivity.
In order to accomplish this, it is vital for the empath to avoid adopting a ‘victim mentality’ or constantly blaming everything negative that happened in their life on the fact that they are an empath.
Some empaths erroneously believe many of the struggles they encounter can’t be overcome. They assume that they will always be crippled in some way by their experience as an empath. This is false. They may have specific experiences and lessons because they’re an empath, but these are opportunities for growth. Some of the ways this manifests are:
Maybe It’s Time To Dream Big Again!
The first week of a brand-new year is an opportune time for reflection on the past year, and an opportunity to visualize the upcoming year with fresh optimism and conviction.
For most of us, the past two years have been difficult and even overwhelming with various social restrictions, stress, political upheaval, illness, anxiety, fear, grief, financial loss. We endured a roller-coaster of events that made us hopeful yet kept us off-balance. Our lives and daily routines have been repeatedly disrupted.
However, in spite of the various set-backs, we made it. We showed courage, strength, perseverance and the ability to bounce back. We can now face 2022, trusting that we are slowly but surely heading in the right direction.
So, take a minute to pat yourself on the back. Reflect on some of the hurdles you overcame in 2020 and 2021, whether they involved financial strain, health challenges, family issues or unpredictable relationships. Regardless of the outcomes, you can rest assured that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time. We can take pride in the fact that, despite the constant setbacks and obstacles, we somehow figured things out and made it work. Job well done!
Now, let’s look to the future for the year 2022. Maybe it’s time to dare to dream big? Think of all the things you would like to accomplish over the next twelve months. What would joy, fulfillment and happiness look like for you?
Does it involve changes to be made regarding lifestyle choices, personal responsibility, or perhaps self-care? Might your happiness involve the mutual support of friends and family with group goals? Is a well-deserved vacation long overdue? Would taking a course, conducting some personal research, or working more efficiently improve your chances for a promotion or starting that new business?