emotional challenges
To Hate Is A Self-Destructive Choice
When I was in middle school, around the age of 13 or so, I remember an older, more popular girl used to constantly bully me. I also remember coming home from school and telling my mother about it. I told my mother that I hated that girl, but she very sternly said, “Oh no, you don’t hate anyone!”
I defiantly replied, “Oh yes, I do!”
My mother then patiently replied, “Okay, well if you are going to insist on hating her, please go and do it somewhere else, young lady. I do not want to hear about it anymore!”
She never explained to me why she felt it was inappropriate for me to hate anyone. I didn’t figure this out until much later in my life.
My own daughter is now also a teenager and she sometimes comes home from school with similar complaints. A girl at school has been spreading false rumors about her. Just like I did all those years ago, my daughter also told me how she hated this girl. And I replied the same way my mother did, except I also explained that hate only breeds more hate.
To hate someone or something only hurts you, no one else. My daughter hating this person she feels has wronged her, will only cause her to hurt herself more with negative emotion, every time she thinks about this person. Every time she tells a friend or family member about this girl, she will be refueling her own negative fire. Thus, she will only end up hurting herself more.
The other girl does not feel every occasion my daughter is upset, or reliving the hurtful situation that occurred. In reality, my daughter is punishing herself every time she thinks about how this person wronged her. This is what we all tend to do, when we find ourselves in similar or hurtful situations.
Love, Joy And The Pursuit Of Happiness
According to the United States Declaration of Independence “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness” are the inalienable birthrights of every human being given to us by our Creator, God, Source, the Divine.
Sadly, I find very few people to be successful in their pursuit of happiness. The same is true for finding love and joy. It seems many are merely stumbling through life trying to find it.
A teacher once told me life is like school. For some of us it’s like kindergarten – easy, uncomplicated, and lots of fun. For others it’s like graduate school with lots of difficulties and challenges to overcome.
Searching for joy, love and happiness does seem to be a ‘wild goose chase’ for many people. It truly is like chasing wild animals. The faster we run after it, the more it seems to flee. I don’t believe joy, love and happiness can be found. Well, at least not in the ways that many of us are hoping to find it.
Like happiness, the right to love is also the natural inheritance of every person. The well-known channeled text, A Course in Miracles, delves into the idea of love from a spiritual perspective. It states that it is impossible to teach love. Instead, the goal should be to remove the blockages or obstacles we have to allowing love’s presence in our lives.
I have seen repeated evidence of this in doing readings for many years now. Certain reading themes are repetitive and common themes are ‘finding love,’ or the ‘lack of love,’ or ‘loss of love.’ In all these readings one thing always becomes very clear: love itself is not an ‘out there’ thing. It is also not something that can be received from another person or thing.
In readings, Spirit will often say, “Love is not a feeling.” This one initially took me a while to understand myself, until I realized that love is in fact an intrinsic quality of being. It is already within each of us. We refer to it as the Higher Self, the Soul, or the Spirit. No one is ever separated from this innate love because it is an intrinsic aspect of our very being.
Beware The Power Of The Quartz Crystal
I love crystals and stones and have traveled all over the world to retrieve some of these beautiful gems of color and purpose. They carry with them amazing energy and metaphysical healing properties.
I have used crystals and stones very successfully in helping many of my clients rebalance and heal their lives, be it for the purpose of health, love, relationship, career, business, finances, or personal growth. Working with stones can assist you in achieving your goals and fulfilling your needs.
There is however one stone that I respect and revere more than the others, to the extent that I never recommend it as a ‘quick-fix’ remedy to others. This precious mineral is the pure quartz crystal. It is a very powerful energy conductor that essentially has a ‘mind of its own.’ It has no compassion, just purpose. Its energy is very direct.
The clear quartz is a stone that needs to be used to do a specific job of goodwill or serve a benevolent purpose, because it can magnify energies as much as tenfold and even higher. It must be used with great respect, for it can be harmful and even dangerous if used carelessly.
A clear quartz crystal casually worn as jewelry, for example, amplifies your mood and personality. If you are at peace with yourself and the world, and in a happy place, you will experience even more joy and happiness, and also spread it to everyone around you. But if you are angry, anxious, or depressed, the exact opposite will be true.
In other words, a little road rage, for example, could escalate to a disastrous scenario if you happen to be wearing a quartz crystal pendant. Oh my, things could get very bad! I therefore do not recommend people wear quartz crystals as everyday jewelry, because even the slightest shift in mood or emotional reaction could create havoc and derail the wearer’s day.
Ask Spirit To Guide Your Every Step
As babies we learned to walk on our own. We may have had some guidance and support from our parents or caregivers, to protect us from falling, but in the end we mastered it on our own. And once we learned to walk, we could in time advance to running, skipping, jumping, and so on.
Similarly, we must learn to make major life decisions for ourselves. We may receive guidance and support along the way from others, including Spirit, but in the end, we must master our life choices on our own.
One of the major challenges we all face in life is how we choose to manage stress and hardship in our life. Stress is a given. Setbacks happen. Overcoming adversity is part and parcel of our journey in this lifetime. No one can live an entirely peaceful and easy life of serene bliss, without dealing with some drama and chaos from time to time.
But we choose different ways to cope with the daily challenges of life. Some people choose to lead a healthy, uplifting lifestyle, as well as practice spirituality, while others sadly opt for destructive ways to ‘cope,’ such as substance abuse, various forms of addiction, and self-sabotaging behaviors, which only serves to make their troubles worse.
When it comes to spirituality, everyone must choose their own path. It is usually what works best for you personally that is ultimately the best way to go. But some choose to not have any belief system. One thing I have learned in this life is that spirituality is essential.
You don’t have to go it alone. There is a great force, a powerful presence known as God, Source, Universe, Spirit, the Divine that guides and protects us. All we must do is ask.
Another important life lesson I have learned is that no one can truly know what you are personally going through, except yourself. Others will have their ideas and opinions of who you are, and what you may be going through, but none of that really matters.
The Self-Healing Miracle Of Letting Go
In the mid-90s, I had the opportunity to attend The Sedona Method Technique Teacher Training course in Arizona. The experience pierced the core of my being and changed my life forever.
Initially, I was reluctant to go, because I was living in Michigan at the time with my husband and two young daughters. My youngest was around a year old and our older daughter was only five. We had not been living in Michigan very long as we had only recently moved there, and I was terribly worried about leaving them for two weeks!
Nevertheless, I convinced myself to go, because my husband had gone to a previous workshop and raved about how it transformed his life. I sensed it would be good tool to incorporate into my psychic readings and metaphysical work.
When I arrived at the workshop there were attendees from all over the world, including psychiatrists, psychologists, and even scientists. To be honest, I felt a little awkward being thrown in with a bunch of ‘genius nerds’ with various fancy post-graduate degrees. It was a bit intimidating to feel that many of them probably had a much better understanding and formal education on human behavior than I did. However, that did not prevent me from also learning this wonderful technique.
The Sedona Method is based on the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It is different from intellectual intelligence, because it refers to our ability to recognize and regulate our own emotions, and how skilled we are at using social awareness to find solutions to daily challenges and life problems.
The Sedona Method therefore teaches one how to improve your EQ. In the same way we can go to the gym to strengthen a muscle, or do brain training puzzles to improve our memory, we can also train and develop our emotional intelligence.
Our natural impulse when something makes us sad, angry, or fearful, is to resist and fight back, or shut down emotionally to it. Emotional intelligence requires that we take a step back, take a breath, and release the urge to go with a kneejerk reaction of firing back or shutting down.
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.