Is Your Texting Pushing Him Away?

A new client recently contacted me about a promising romantic relationship. The first thing that became clear as I began to read for her was that she had a long history of dating men who seemed like potential long-term partners, but then suddenly disappeared or broke up with her after only a few months.

It quickly also became clear to me that texting was a significant factor in her dating problems. Misunderstandings due to texting have damaged the romantic, family, and friendship relationships of many people I have worked with as a psychic professional. This client was no exception.

As I read the energy around her situation, I sensed that she had a tendency to push men away by unnecessarily panicking when she did not feel completely in control. Guys can sense panic and controlling tendencies and for most men this is usually a big turnoff.

This kind of negative energy is also stressful and doesn’t improve the outcome of an uncertain situation. Excessive obsession, panic, and worry will not bring someone closer to you; in fact, it can push a potential long-term relationship away forever.

I then had to tell her that while I did see the potential for a long-term relationship in their connection, I didn’t currently see a long-term future for them if she continued with all the texting she was doing. I told her to take a step back, breathe, stop worrying so much, and definitely not try to resolve things through texting any more.

A few days later she called and said that he hadn’t texted her all day, whereas before he had texted her every day. Again, I told her to calm down, not to worry, and not to text him again. He was just busy with work and life. She argued and insisted that he wasn’t working, but later admitted that he had told her that he was working on his house all week. Well, that’s man code for “I need some me time.”

Texting is a supremely secretive medium of communication – it’s like passing a note – and this means we should be very careful what we use it for ~ Lynne Truss

But my dear client was at the end of her rope, and I received another warning from spirit about her behavior. I could feel her panic. I repeated my advice: “Don’t panic, breathe, and don’t text him.” I could tell he really liked her. I didn’t want her to push him away with her “manic panic” like she had before with other guys.

I tried to explain to her that we have become so attached to our phones and addicted to scrolling, tapping, and swiping that when we do not get the immediate responses we expect, a day of no contact can easily seem like a big deal. Before social media and dating apps, women didn’t get worried until at least a few days or even a week or two of no communication. Nowadays, some start to panic after an hour of no response!

I again advised her to stay calm and not to text him since he was still planning to take her camping that weekend. I assured her that he would call within the next day or two. He was planning a fun weekend for the two of them and he wanted to get everything done before they left.

The next day she called again and said it had been a day plus several hours since we last spoke and he had still not called. She counted down to the hour, and by now she was completely freaked out. “It’s noon already,” she said, “when is he going to contact me?”

While I could again feel her obvious frustration and anxiety, what concerned me more this time was that I could now feel him wavering. I could feel his growing disappointment and confusion. I knew she had messed up.

“You texted him, didn’t you?” I said.

Then she confessed, “Well, yes, I texted him again. All I said was, ‘I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know if we’re still going camping.'”

As always, I was direct and honest. I told her that the text sounded hostile and that it didn’t help the situation. I told her that I sensed that he was beginning to withdraw. I also sensed that he had a history with needy, demanding, angry women and that was why he was now magnifying the tone of her text in his mind. He had discovered a lovely woman in her that he really liked and was looking forward to going camping with her and now he was getting this impatient, demanding, hostile message from her.

I reiterated the “no texting rule” and how easily people project their own feelings and interpretations onto texts. I urged her not to text again. But she did. It was obsessive at this point. She was trying to control the situation, and she was doing exactly that — right out of her life!

He finally texted her that he was starting to realize that maybe he didn’t have enough time and energy for a serious relationship right now and couldn’t give her the attention she deserved. That’s man code for “this is not going to work for me.”

Of course, she blamed me and said my prediction was wrong. “You said he would text sooner and that he was planning a weekend trip, and look what happened!” she complained.

If only she had trusted the reading. Psychics work with people who get in their own way every day. We often see how wonderful blessings and opportunities come into people’s lives and how they panic and self-sabotage their way out of them. It is our calling to help and guide. Let us.

People have entire relationships via text message now, but I am not partial to texting. I need context, nuance and the warmth and tone that can only come from a human voice ~ Danielle Steel

How Texting Can Ruin Your Relationship

Texting has become an integral part of modern communication, offering convenience and instant connectivity. In romantic relationships, however, this method of communication can often do more harm than good. In many relationship readings I have given over the years, I have found that misinterpretations, delayed responses, and emotional reactions are some of the typical pitfalls that can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict.

In order to maintain a healthy and strong romantic connection, it’s important to be aware of how texting can inadvertently sabotage your relationship. Here are typical ways that texting can ruin a romantic connection or relationship.

Misinterpretation: Texting lacks vocal inflection and body language, making it easy for messages to be misinterpreted. A simple comment can be interpreted as sarcastic, angry, or dismissive when that was not the intention.

Overanalyzing: People often overthink and overanalyze text messages, reading into every word, punctuation mark, and timing of the response, which can cause unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Clarification: In person or on the phone, misunderstandings can usually be resolved quickly. Texting, however, can lead to prolonged confusion or miscommunication because it lacks the immediacy of spoken words, tone of voice, and body language.

Delays: Waiting for a response can cause frustration and anxiety, leading to assumptions about the other person’s feelings or intentions. This can undermine trust and create tension.

Excess: Sending too many messages can come across as needy or overwhelming. It can make the other person feel stifled and cause them to withdraw.

Overreacting: It’s easy to send impulsive, emotionally charged messages in the heat of the moment, which can escalate conflict and damage the relationship.

Avoidance: Texting can become a crutch to avoid difficult face-to-face or voice conversations, preventing real issues from being properly addressed and resolved.

Fake Intimacy: Texting can create a false sense of intimacy and connection. Without spending quality time together, the relationship may lack depth and true understanding.

Unrealistic Expectations: Setting expectations for immediate responses can lead to disappointment and conflict when one partner cannot meet those expectations due to their schedule or communication style.

Personal Connection: Over-reliance on texting can lead to a decline in the personal, face-to-face interactions that are crucial to building a strong, meaningful relationship. The lack of physical presence can make the relationship feel shallow and less genuine.

How To Avoid Texting Pitfalls

To avoid the pitfalls of texting in romantic relationships, prioritize open and honest communication. When discussing important or sensitive topics, choose face-to-face conversations or phone calls instead of texts. This approach minimizes misunderstandings and allows for immediate clarification of any confusion.

Set clear boundaries and expectations regarding texting, ensuring both partners understand and respect each other’s communication styles and schedules. For instance, agree on acceptable response times and the importance of not overanalyzing text messages. This mutual understanding can reduce anxiety and foster a more relaxed and trusting dynamic.

Another key strategy is to be mindful and intentional with your text messages. Before sending a message, consider the tone and potential interpretations to avoid unnecessary conflicts. If you find yourself feeling emotional or upset, take a moment to breathe and reflect before responding, ensuring your message is composed and thoughtful.

And last, but certainly not least, limiting the frequency of texts can also prevent overwhelming your partner and promote a healthy balance between digital and in-person interactions. Texting can become a weapon of mass destruction in a new relationship. It’s simple really: don’t panic, breathe, and don’t overtext him!