advice
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.
Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone
I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.
I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.
For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.
Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.
It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!
Let’s Make The Most Of This Gift Of Time
There is a cheesy saying, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It may be somewhat cheesy, but it is a brilliant metaphor. You still have those lemons. They are still terribly sour and inedible. But now you’ve added your own sweetness to them.
In recent months we have all suddenly been presented with a sometimes overwhelming new paradigm. Many of us are spending more time at home. Before the pandemic, many of us often wondered where our time went? If we only had more time!
This is especially true for those of us with young children. I have often said I feel like I only have 10-hour-days to fit everything into, including sleep, since my children were born.
It’s interesting to talk to my clients who are currently still going in to work, and often stressed for time, as compared to those clients who are fortunate to work from home, or have a reduced work schedule, or are currently unemployed. They are like parallel universes.
If you currently have the gift of time on your hands, make good use of it. It will lessen your depression and anxiety, and it will help you to think of this unusual time in our lives, which is only temporary, with more fondness and sentimentality. With the internet, so many options are open to us, and the possibilities are endless. Before all of this, I even learned how to crochet and knit online! I am now a very proud intermediate crocheter… and novice knitter.
How To Be A Good Friend
I just read a blog written by a spiritual person feeling angry and lonely. She had reached out to a trusted friend, but the friend only wanted to talk about her own problems. And when she did pay some attention to her plight, the best the friend could offer was to be judgmental and unsympathetic. The author then also reached out for support on a social media group for spiritually aware people. Again, all of the members did the same thing her friend did: they judged!
The woman was having problems with her abusive neighbor and many people on the forum were giving advice for her to leave. They told her to move, find a better place to live, relocate. “Moving is 100% your choice,” one person commented. The first thing I thought was no, it isn’t. This particular woman, for example, had bought the house and had put a lot of money into renovating the house. She would need to sell, at a time when not many things are selling, and possibly suffer a significant financial loss.
Some even told her to get more exercise, so that she can relax and focus on other things. They told her she was responsible for her own choice of reactions and feelings in the situation. The only insensitive, stereotypical thing they didn’t say was to take a breath and calm down. Don’t you just hate it when someone says that? It does everything, but calm you down!
The people responding, in their judgment, needed to feel superior. It was about them, not her. Her responses were defensive, understandably. I felt by her response, they made her feel more lonely. Poor woman.
How To Be Patient In Times Of Crisis
Just about every day, we face some sort of obstacle, delay in communication, or a situation that doesn’t go our way. And in times of an unexpected crisis, our first response is too assume the worst, or panic.
Negative feelings can creep up and overtake the mind, sending us into fits of rage, sadness or disillusionment, due to the lack of patience in surrendering our control and allowing those emotions to pass with total acceptance.
When we become impatient, our entire being is out of balance and the auric energy field becomes muddy and chaotic. Agitation and strain then become the primary motivator, and there is a loss of self-awareness within.
Impatience never makes things happen faster, or better, and the worst way this can manifest is when we try to force an issue, or get a person to instantly say yes, or go along with our vision.
Whenever impatience or uncomfortable feelings arise, it’s vital to make a conscious effort to redirect that negativity and nip it in the bud, so you can stay calm during the toughest times. Here are some strategies to help alleviate impatience when your feeling triggered.
Breathing
Take several deep breaths from your stomach and exhale out the stress, focusing on your third eye as you release your breath. Think of something funny or inspirational so you don’t unleash unnecessary aggression.