News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

toxic relationship

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How To Deal With Toxic People

click here for a free reading at PsychicAccess.comAt times most of us have to deal with toxic people. It seems these days they are popping up everywhere in some way, shape or form. We do our best to understand them. And often we make excuses for why we continue to tolerate them. Year after year.

Fact is, some folks just aren’t going to change. No matter how much patience we give them. We may make up excuses for why we continue to share and hold space for them. But it is in vain.

Sometimes it takes a wake-up call from a doctor who tells us we suffer from stress-related illness, such as high blood pressure or anxiety, to make us realize that dis-ease does in fact cause disease.

I have done readings for several women who have told me they have serious health issues and they believe it is caused from the stress they have to endure from co-workers, or the people they have to live with, or those whom they are married to.

I have given lots of helpful advice to my clients in these matters, but I decided to step it up a notch and spend a month connecting with spirit and asking for a good list of items I can share in this blog that could maybe help you too.

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Releasing A Toxic Relationship

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comMany of us have held onto a toxic relationship (which includes friendships) because of our mind trying to convince us that it will change. It will get better. I can fix this other person. I will wait for this other person to realize what they have in me. This person is my soulmate, I know it. This person is the only one, there will never be another.

So many excuses, so little truth.

It will not change. If a relationship or a friendship is toxic today, yes, it will change and become more toxic as the days, weeks and months pass.

It will not get better. You are trying to convince yourself it will get better with time with someone, when they finally start to realize that you are there no matter what. This is a huge misconception. Toxic relationships cannot change and the loss will be harder the longer you hold onto this person.

You cannot ‘fix’ your partner. No one can fix another person. No one can change another person. Each individual has to do their own work to clear the toxic or damaged parts of themselves. They have to do it for themselves, or it will never last.

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How To Trust Your Spiritual Teacher

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIf you have a spiritual teacher, how do you know you can trust her? Weren’t you told to trust yourself first? Wait, how do you know you can trust your therapist, or even your doctor? Especially with all the sexual assault cases coming to light these days, it is scary to think that someone who is supposed to be your protector, care-giver, or mentor will use that position to manipulate you into a situation that is abusive, sometime violently abusive. Thinking about this can be horrifying, but so is not thinking about it.

What about the idea ‘trust yourself’? The problem with just trusting yourself is that if you grew up in an alcoholic, drug-abusing, violent family, or in some of the more subtle dysfunctional family dynamics, such as having a narcissistic or wounded parent, your radar for self-care is damaged. You do not yet have the skills to discern what is healthy for you. Your brain and nervous system is literally wired for dysfunction as your default normal setting. This means you will choose the dysfunction you know, because it is all you know. You will seek out an alcoholic lover; or you will find jobs with narcissistic bosses, for example.

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The Spiritual Teacher As The Enemy

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comIn psychology, therapists are trained to handle what is known as transference behavior in some of their clients or patients. Spiritual healers, readers, and teachers generally do not have much knowledge or skill in this regard, which can be detrimental for both the practitioner and those who come to them for services.

What is transference? When people go to spiritual professionals, they are often hurt and in psychological, emotional or spiritual pain, which sometimes also manifests as physical pain. People mainly are ‘hurt’ by other people in their lives, with whom they have emotional connections. When emotional connections are damaged (real or imagined) people feel hurt, betrayed, abandoned or experience various other emotions. When seeking healing or guidance (in whatever modality) those feelings of hurt are often transferred to the healer, teacher or other ‘authority figures.’

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Finding Your Perfectly Imperfect Partner

click photo for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comAll too often single people are guilty of trying to find the perfect person, our better halves, our soulmate match. Unless you have never dated before or are extremely unique, we have all gone through a few relationships that have not worked out. These failed relationships leave wounds in our hearts and scars that come from being hurt. They leave us with lessons carved deep into our souls.

I do not see these relationship experiences as ‘failures.’ I believe they are trials. My mother always used to say, dating guys is like trying on shoes. Not to trivialize dating, but you get the idea? Shoes have to fit well for them to be reliable and comfortable. You don’t buy shoes that don’t fit you, unless you plan on being constantly uncomfortable.

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Needing The Love Of A Spiritual Teacher

click photo for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comThe love of a spiritual teacher is not human love and this is often misunderstood in our Western culture. Many people are drawn to spirituality because they are profoundly lonely. For those looking for the love of a teacher, you can count on that loneliness to be a profoundly unconscious desire to be connected to the Self and to Spirit.

On a dangerous note, this is how cult leaders thrive, by preying on those who don’t realize they are seeking spiritual love, and by offering a manipulative human love. Human love can never fill the gaping hole, and because cult leaders tend to be sociopaths, it can take years for cult followers to wake up. By then there will be a great deal of damage control needed in order to heal.

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Choose Your Life Partner Wisely

click photo for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comMany people are looking for that soulmate who will truly be a life-long partner. But because they are so desperate to find that special person, they sometimes align with those that do not necessarily have all the qualities that are important in a healthy, fulfilling relationship. This is unfortunately not how you find your ‘forever.’

In the old days divorce was not even something someone considered once they got married. Neither did couples live together, unless they were married. It was frowned upon when a baby was born out of wedlock. If someone did get pregnant, there was usually a quick wedding, and that was that.

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