Posts Tagged ‘toxic relationship’
If you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who’s emotionally unavailable, you know how hard it is to get close to that person. People who are emotionally unavailable are evasive.
In the beginning the emotionally unavailable person starts out with flattery, flirting and wooing, but this typically lasts only a short while. They can even offer you a lot of self-disclosure and initially show their vulnerable side, but beware! The emotionally unavailable prefer the chase instead of the catch.
Control is another must for the emotionally unavailable person. They can very inflexible with their schedules and you find that you’re always the one doing all the work and fitting yourself into their schedule. Read the rest of this entry »
If, as many teachings suggest, there is spiritual growth in every experience, and in particular the more difficult times, then being strongly affected by another person’s negative behavior must also be one of life’s lessons.
I have been pondering this because of the increase in psychic reading calls I have been getting related to this very topic. Some of my clients have been profoundly upset lately by the negative outbursts of people in their lives, including family, friends, partners, work colleagues, or even random altercations in public places.
I love these words from the poem Desiderata: “Avoid the loud and the aggressive – they are vexations to the spirit.” How very true. However, more often than not, we are not in the position to avoid those individuals altogether, in order to escape their toxic influence. Even in a friendship turned sour, we often want to give the toxic friend the benefit of the doubt, knowing that they don’t always behave that way. We might even be in love with a negative person, hoping we can change them one day. Read the rest of this entry »
Everything we experience in life is an opportunity to grow and embrace fully who we are. In India they say that the path of the householder is the hardest spiritual path, far harder than that of the monk or hermit. In other words, facing the daily challenges of domestic responsibilities and being in close relationship with others, whether it be romantic, family, or work, is the hardest path to manage.
It is challenging in our everyday life to stay close to God, or remain true to the blueprint of who we were created to be spiritually. The good news is that, as we do learn to manage our challenges, we exponentially strengthen who we are. (Note, I use the term ‘God’ as a convenient, small word to indicate a vast Divine experience too big for me to describe, or define.) Read the rest of this entry »
Relationships flourish when they are put in the proper climate for growth. When it comes to intimate and romantic relationships it is integral for our own personal growth to recognize what we want and expect within the situation. Boundaries are a powerful way to cultivate the experiences that are more meaningful in our relationships.
Often when I am reading for a person that is having consistent challenges, Spirit will identify similar challenges within the situation. This is not universal, because challenges can stem from many sources. However, I would like to identify some consistent messages that do come up related to relationships.
One issue that comes up quite often is a focus on fantasy rather than reality. This is not to say that fantasy is bad, but when an individual expends a lot of their time and energy fantasizing about how a situation will evolve, they can potentially fall in love with the fantasy instead of the reality. Read the rest of this entry »
I have done thousands of readings for people from around the world, and I can assure you that fear is part of the human condition. It is not only a valuable asset to recognize danger (emotionally and physically), but it can also be an opportunity to face the fear that is holding you back from living your best, authentic life.
Fear is a reaction to something, or someone, that one perceives as dangerous, threatening or potentially painful. Fear is not necessarily a bad thing, as it helps us avoid dangerous situations, like touching a very hot surface, or swimming in rapidly-moving water. It can also be related to loss of a loved one. If, for example, a person is between the ages of birth to 18 years and dependent upon a parent to meet basic needs, the fear becomes very deep-rooted, and the same is true if you are older and suffered many or even one significant loss. We can also become frightened before speaking to a large group of people, when boarding an airplane… or just thinking about it! Some of us fear clowns or a wild animals. Read the rest of this entry »
Throughout my years as a professional psychic medium (and even before), I’ve encountered a recurring theme of those who are seeking advice involving intimate relationships. Now, remember, intimate relationships aren’t just our lovers. They can also be close friends and, of course, our family.
Intimate relationships are the ones we have with those closest to us. We know their secrets, strengths and weaknesses, and they probably know ours. It’s those people that we want to help, those we want to love, or those who we just want to love and respect us. Sadly, when people are seeking guidance with these intimate relationships it is most always pain-filled. Anger, fear, frustration and desperation almost always accompany these relationships. Read the rest of this entry »
Gaslighting can be a very destructive component of a toxic relationship. It basically refers to any form of ‘reality twisting’ or ‘crazy making’ that aims to confuse or manipulate the victim. Gaslighting is used to gain power and control in the relationship, by making the victim question their reality.
The phenomenon is typically found in romantic relationships, but it can occur in all kinds of social relationships, including friendships, in the workplace and with neighbors. Sometimes it is done in an obvious way, right under the victim’s nose, but mostly it is done under the radar and you don’t always know who is gaslighting you, or even that you are being gaslighted. Read the rest of this entry »
Addressing our desires, needs, goals and actions is imperative as we go through life. Ideally this happens on a regular and consistent basis. Yet, life sometimes has the uncanny ability to delay our well-defined plans, or simply start it without us. It can also unexpectedly speed up our plans.
If you reflect on your current life status, are there aspects of it that make you cringe a little? Is your career, financial health, relationship, or family life in a space where you are just ‘getting by.’ Are you living month to month on your paycheck? Stuck in a stagnant relationship? Do you hate your job? Feeling overwhelmed?
If such feelings are prevalent, then it indicates that your life owns you, instead of you owning your life. Your life owns you when your everyday routine consists mostly of elements of necessity, not of desirous choice.
There is no doubt that modern society has burdened us with the pressures to succeed, to pay the bills, to live where we live. Navigating the meandering river of our material needs occupies much space in our mind. My brain hurts! Read the rest of this entry »