advice
Throwing The Bones
Before studying various Western disciplines of healing and divination, I trained to become a sangoma some 30 years ago, on the borders of Mozambique and Kwazulu-Natal in Southern Africa, where I learned among other things the divination method known as ‘throwing the bones.’
A ‘sangoma’ casting the bones is the African equivalent of the Native American shaman, the Old Norse rune reader, or the European Tarot reader. To uninformed Westerners, indigenous African methods of divination are often thought of as ‘witchcraft,’ but just like there is good and bad in all cultures and professions, the true calling of the African diviner or shaman is a spiritual one of seeking advice through the wise ancestors. In the same way modern Western diviners rely on spirit guides, angels or the ascended masters for divine guidance, so the African diviner relies upon the ancestors.
My training came about after I consulted another sangoma and was told it was my calling to become sangoma myself. She also cautioned me that until I took up this calling, I would repetitively become ill – and how right she was!
Eventually I heeded the ‘calling’, as unusual as it was at the time for a young English woman to enter the mysterious realm of African mysticism in the country in those days. Training was harsh and intense with my mentor and included coaching in various disciplines, such as divination, dream interpretation, ritual, indigenous medicines, and herbalism over a two and a half year period.
One of the divination methods I was taught is known as ‘throwing the bones’. Since the beginning of recorded history the notion of throwing tokens, casting the dice or drawing lots to interpret the divine will of spirit and the ancestors has been viewed as symbolically linking the diviner to his or her mission. Casting or throwing the bones is an ancient practice native to many regions of the world, including Africa, Asia, and North America. In Southern Africa it is a long-standing ritual among the sangomas of the Zulu, Swazi, Xhosa and Ndebele tribes.
Each bone or token used for casting is part of a kit the sangoma carefully selects with the guidance of spirit, initially with the help of a mentor. Spirit and the ancestors instruct the seeker as to the symbolism and meaning of each sacred item in the collection, and precisely shows the student where to find it and which one to use in a divination. In Southern Africa, a mentor assists the thwasa (trainee sangoma) in the process of learning to receive information from the bones, and in reading the patterns in which the bones are likely to fall.
Connecting With Your Inner Wisdom
In a world rife with uncertainty and daily challenges, most of us are bound to turn to other people in our life to help us deal with our problems or regain a sense of direction. While this is perfectly normal and human to do, spirit teaches that it is best we also connect with our higher self to find the answers we are seeking.
Unfortunately, trauma and stress can significantly block the clarity of our intuition, prevent us from gaining access to our inner wisdom and divine guidance. The following strategies can help us reconnect with our inner being and build a stronger connection with our inner guidance system.
Ignore The Noise
Stop listening to the opinions and views of others. I am not suggesting that you should never take good advice, but be selective about who you choose to listen to. And if their opinion does not resonate with your inner being, walk away.
Too much external ‘noise’ can really block your instincts if you become preoccupied with what others think. There is also the fear of upsetting others or not living up to certain social norms or family expectations. If you were to give in to this, you may very well find yourself living other people’s dreams and ambitions instead of your own.
Avoid the kind of ‘well-meant’ advice that usually only serve the needs of the one advising you. Politely thank them for their interest and concern, but disregard their opinions and simply go ahead with what your inner voice advises. The Chinese Philosopher Lao Tzu said, “He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened.”
The Truth Be Told
Have you ever been told you are just too honest? Well, I have, and this very statement has given me a lot of food for thought. I have been wondering why being honest does not typically win any popularity contests?
It took a lot of meditation and mulling it over in my mind for several days, for me to finally decide how I felt about people being ‘too honest.’
Truth be told, I would much rather be honest and deal with other ‘overly honest’ people, than the opposite. I prefer not to have people smile to my face, and then later stab me in the back.
A client who has been reading with me for over a decade, came for a session recently. She was very depressed and teary-eyed. Before we even started, I saw in my mind’s eye my symbol for a broken heart. I also saw that she would find healing, but not soon.
It soon unfolded that her boyfriend of two years had in fact broken up with her and moved out. Spirit then showed me that she had been too honest with him. “He doesn’t always appreciate it when you tell him the truth,” I said. “Even when he asked you for your honest opinion, he would be offended when you gave it to him.
“Yes,” she replied, “the reason he moved on was that I was too honest and direct for his liking.” Just unbelievable, I thought to myself.
Apparently, many people feel it’s okay to tell a little white lie. This is usually the case when they feel being very honest will possibly hurt the other person’s feelings. In my mind, when you ask for an honest opinion, then you are open to the truth. If not, then don’t ask. When I ask my best friend if a pair of blue jeans makes my butt look big, then I really want to know – the truth!
This is what I love about doing readings. Spirit only gives truthful and honest answers. The recipient of this guidance then knows how their choices will influence the direction or the outcome of a situation.
Think Before You Speak Or Act
Sometimes, it is wise to move with caution and think things through slowly, so that we truly know what the best decision would be. This is especially true if you are one of those sensitive people who tend to be a ‘people-pleaser.’
Like the game of chess, it is smart to plan ahead and consider your options carefully. You don’t want to make a quick move, without clearly looking at what all the possible outcomes could be. We sometimes tend to make snap decisions to accommodate the needs of others, only to regret it later when we discover that it was a really bad move!
For example, if someone is asking you to do something for them or become involved in their project, and you just don’t know if you should commit yourself, you should say to that person: “You know, I’m so busy right now, I need a little time to think about it. I will get back to you on that as soon as I can.”
This way you do not have to walk away feeling you have let someone down, or harbor guilt or regret. You then take the time you need to simply think it through. Have a look at your calendar, make a few calls and decide how you really feel about this request or offer.
I believe this is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given: think through what you say and do, before you say and do it. Always consider if it is going to have a positive effect on your life and those around you. Never do anything that does not serve your highest good. It goes back to the ‘domino effect’ or the Law of Cause and Effect.
Getting More From Your Psychic Reading
So, there you are, about to spend some well-earned money on a psychic reading. You have decided to get a reading about your life at this time, which is always a good idea.
But before you go ahead make sure you know how to get the best from your reading and how to wrap your mind around what you are going to hear and see. You may be a first timer, or a seasoned veteran of all things occult. It doesn’t matter.
The important thing, the first thing, is to be very sure why you are getting a reading. This must always be your starting point. It enables you to help yourself. It allows your mind to be open and ready to receive. The next thing you must do is to release your attachment to the outcome of the reading. Release all your expectations of what you would like to hear. Easier said than done? Hardly. That is merely an excuse. It only serves to paralyze you, and stems the very flow that you crave.
People often have many questions about what they should do when it comes to getting a reading. Should I carry a crystal? How will I know whom to choose to read for me? Do I just go with a random reader?
The answer to these questions is… do what you feel works best for you. You can carry a crystal if you want to. They have earth-driven qualities and they do help to remind us of beauty, which is always important. Choosing a reader online can be as easy or as complicated as you choose to make it. Choosing a reader in any situation means going with your heart, your instinct and, most of all, an open mind.
Keeping an open mind in a psychic reading is essential. By releasing attachment to the outcome, you allow Spirit to speak through the medium or the psychic, giving you the message that is meant for you alone. That is why you get a reading after all, isn’t it? I would hope so!
The What-ifs That Go Bump In The Night
When I grow up, I want to be a lightworker! Okay, so I’ve grown up and I’ve been a psychic and healer for many years. The question now is, how do I take back, or erase from my mind’s eye all that I’ve seen? ‘Wounded healer, heal thyself’ is a very old truth, which still holds merit after many years of being bandied about.
Perhaps today it is more true than ever. In today’s world we are dealing with much more fear and what-ifs than ever before in our lifetime. Someone, or something, somewhere – the news media for one – is always preying on our fears. Panic and perpetual fear is the name of the game for many in our world these days.
Psychics, astrologers, mediums, diviners, and energy healers, among other, are known by the universal term ‘lightworkers.’ This is ironic, considering we often have to delve into the darkest fears of most people head-first, in order to help our fellow humans come to some form of clarity, healing or conclusion.
And what happens when the lightworker’s battery begins to fade from overuse and not enough recharging? Can helping other people face their fears make our own fears and limiting beliefs become larger by proxy, thus causing our own light to dim?
Lightworkers are born healers and teachers. At our core we want to help everyone. We know that inner peace comes from within. However, some of our clients are open to guidance, while others are not. Maybe I only speak for myself as a healer, but those who refuse guidance often haunt me far longer than those who embrace it. They are the ones who keep me up at night. They are the ones who make me doubt and question what I know in my heart to be true, based on my ability to listen to a Higher Power and relay messages spirit wants to share.
Face your fears, I tell myself. Even as a wounded healer, I must continue to face my self-doubt and remember to look upon the bright side: the countless souls whose lives I have been blessed to change and help make into something brighter, better and more fulfilling.
Still Hanging On To The Wrong Person?
Are you still hanging on to the wrong person? I know you adore him. I know you love her. I understand that you believe you are soulmates and ‘meant to be.’
But be aware that your beloved has free will. If they are not exactly alignment with you, no matter how you strongly feel about them, nothing will come of your ‘situationship.’ They are on their own journey and you cannot will someone to be your lover or life partner. It is nothing more than the beginning of a colossal heartbreak.
I have witnessed many love-struck people hang on for years to someone that has either left them for good, or kept stringing them along. Some of them have even married and had children with someone else, and yet, they still hang on. They often fervently believe their love interest will someday return to them and then they will live happily ever after. Well, the truth of the matter is that they will not. The other person has made their choice and walked away for a reason.
This new year, with all that has been going on in the world, it may be time to take a few deep breaths and have a self-reflective moment. Take a good, hard look at your life choices and your relationships.
If you are making unwise, self-sabotaging choices, consider what it may be that is not feeding your soul? What is it that is really missing in your life? Maybe it is time to release what no longer serves you. Simply let it go. Find your inner peace, and just be happy and content with yourself and who you truly are.
As a psychic advisor, I encounter the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen much trauma and damage done, sometimes almost irreparable, to people in toxic relationships and love obsessions. Marriages of several years simply falling apart or ‘trusted’ partner walking out with zero notice. I have watched many go through failed relationship after failed relationship, always with the same results. The result is always the same: excruciating heartbreak.
When the victims of these bad relationship choices are encouraged to do some soul-searching, to see what it is inside of them that is compelling them to go back to the same type of person, time and time again, they are offended and become angry.