Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone

I have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.

I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.

For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.

Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.

It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!

You can please some of the people all of the time; all of the people some of the time and some of the people none of the time, and these are the people you pray for all of the time ~ Margareat McBride

Another example is the sibling who makes you feel like whatever you do is not good enough. If you have a brother or sister who constantly belittles you, or looks down their nose at you for not doing what they feel you should be doing with your life, then it’s high time to cut that cord. At the very least you should stop engaging with them, until they start showing you more respect and compassion. We can only do so much, and some people are prone to worry, or judge, no matter what you do. You will never, ever please all the people all the time.

Spirit offers the following guidelines to help curb your desire to people-please…and save the whole world. First of all, take a deep breath and recognize that whatever you are doing in your life is good enough. Frequently repeat the affirmation, “I am good enough. I cannot always make everyone happy all of the time, and that is okay!”

When you stop living your life based on what others think of you real life begins. At that moment, you will finally see the door of self acceptance opened ~ Shannon L. Alder

You were born intuitive. You know your limits. Pay attention to what your gut is telling you. Sometimes we are enabling others to feel worry, anxiety, fear, tension. We may make other people fearful to live if we try and do everything for them. Although we may believe we are doing it out of love, we are really doing it out of guilt, or for our own emotional benefit, and that is something we need to work on for ourselves. Guilt is not something you want to die with. Do what you can, and know that what your doing is good enough. You’re good enough.

Spirit also says that a lot of guilt is brought on by heavy religious upbringing. God is love and Jesus is love. Sometimes our strict upbringing has made us grow into adults who feel guilt all the time. So, we feel we must do, do, do and constantly please people. That is the wrong way. Spirit says sometimes we must unlearn what we have learned.