Self-Help
Breaking Free From A Toxic Family Curse
Over the past year and a half, I have been working with a client who grew up in one of the most toxic families I have ever encountered in my work. It has been a long time since I have been so moved by a client’s tragic story and ancestral legacy. With her permission, I thought it might be helpful to share some of her experiences.
She was raised by an extremely narcissistic mother who manipulated and emotionally abused her for most of her life with belittling scapegoating and harsh criticism, until she finally managed to break free and set healing, healthy boundaries.
But once those long overdue boundaries were in place, she suddenly discovered that her siblings had taken it upon themselves to continue their mother’s toxic behavior toward her! While she thought she had finally found some peace in her life, and could safely confide in her siblings about her healing journey, she soon found out how wrong she was.
Until recently, she had openly shared her thoughts and feelings about her mother with her siblings. They, in turn, wholeheartedly agreed and confided that they felt the same way. As her younger siblings, they claimed to have endured similar abuse from their mother. No matter what they said or did, they were also constantly verbally attacked and criticized by her.
Meanwhile, none of her siblings claims were true. As the family scapegoat she was in fact the only one who endured all their mother’s abuse. I tried to caution her every time we did a reading, but she suffered betrayal blindness when it came to her siblings, in the same way she did for many years with her mom.
Heal Your Toxic Family Legacy With Ancestral Guidance
Our loved ones in spirit are aware of things that we cannot see. Once they have crossed over to the other side, they begin to connect with us through signs and synchronicities, as well as in the dream state, to guide us on our life journey.
One of the life challenges they can assist with is healing generational trauma and breaking the cycle of toxic family abuse. In their new state of higher consciousness, they are now able to clearly see how they may have wronged us while they were here, and how they contributed to a dysfunctional ancestral legacy, often going back many generations.
As part of their own life review and soul evolution process in the afterlife, they want to provide us with insight and guidance, to help us undo some of the mistakes they made and break the family curse of dysfunction and abuse, so that we can be blessed with healing, joy and unconditional love.
I have channeled many readings for clients over the years to offer them this type of guidance from their loved ones and ancestors in spirit. The spiritual guidance they received proved to be of great value in their lives and brought much peace and healing to their families, as well as their romantic relationships and marriages.
Some of the self-care goodies and nuggets of divine wisdom that my clients have received from spirit over the years include:
Make The Most Of Your Next Saturn Return
Saturn can be a very challenging, difficult planetary influence because of the astrological phenomenon known as Saturn Return, which occurs every 27 to 30 years, which is the duration of its orbit around the Sun back to the same place in the galaxy where it was at the time of our birth. It literally returns to the same zodiac sign, degree, and house.
The three Saturn Return in our lifetime occurs around the ages of 27 to 31; 56 to 60, and 84 to 90. Although it is possible to estimate your dates using an online calculator, it may be best to have it calculated by an experienced astrologer.
This major astrological aspect is not to be taken lightly. Saturn Return is associated with major life transitions and personal upheaval. Such as relationship breakups, divorce, relocations, health challenges, and major career, business, or lifestyle changes.
It is a highly self-reflective time when we must contemplate our path, evaluate the choices we have made thus far, and carefully consider what is no longer serving us. People often get sober, get divorced, get married, change jobs, or decide to have children during this time.
Saturn Return exposes our dysfunctional habits and past mistakes, and we gain a new perspective on our life. If we carefully work through these challenges and redefine ourselves on a deeper level, we are empowered to move into a new and improved next chapter of our life.
My first Saturn return included personal growth and healing work brought on by two dysfunctional relationships.
The first was a crush I had on an older boy when I was 11 years old. I have since been shown that I have shared several past lives with him. This time he wanted nothing to do with me, because I was just the “weird psychic kid.”
Astrology Forecast August 21 – 27, 2023
Increased awareness, focus and attention to detail are at the forefront this week. First, the Moon transits Scorpio today through Wednesday. To top it off, the Sun enters Virgo on Wednesday, followed by Mercury (its ruler) going retrograde.
This cosmic cluster will result in an energetic emphasis on paying attention, practicing caution, and not getting stuck in the minutiae of daily life. Flexibility and compromise will be essential to getting through the first three days of the week.
Be especially careful with financial matters and business dealings tomorrow, for a Venus in Leo square to Jupiter in Taurus tomorrow morning, followed by Mars in Virgo opposing Neptune in Pisces in the afternoon, could cause all kinds of trouble, including financial losses, poor money decisions, overspending, and even fraud. Do not book any events or trips, do not sign up for or order anything, and especially do not sign any contracts. Also, avoid discussing finances with your spouse, partner, business associates, or clients, as conflicts and disagreements are likely to arise.
A more light-hearted energy will bring some balance on Thursday and Friday under a Sagittarius Moon, allowing us to regroup after a trying few days. Make it a point to relax, play, have some fun, and leave the next batch of heavy lifting for another day.
This weekend the Capricorn Moon gives us a chance to re-ground ourselves, look at things from a more logical and practical angle, and work on our self-care. The week also ends with Mars moving into Libra, marking the beginning of a two-month cycle of more balanced movement and improved interpersonal relationships.
Betrayal Blindness And The Family Scapegoat
I have a good friend who was raised by a mother who constantly belittled and talked down to her. She never defended herself, because she grew up believing that she deserved her mother’s abuse, because something was wrong with her causing her to always say and do the wrong things.
Once she graduated high school, she moved out of her mom’s house. Her life became much more peaceful for several years, until she started noticing that her brother was following in their mother’s footsteps by adopting the same kind of toxic, abusive language towards her.
It oddly became evident to her one year at Christmas time, when she gifted him a beautiful, crocheted blanket that she had been working on for many months and he rolled his eyes and made some disparaging remark about it. She then started noticing how pompous, ungrateful, and narcissistic he truly was. Growing up with him, she always assumed he just had bit of an ego or a macho attitude, but now that she had gained life experience and wisdom, she realized he was simply an abusive jerk.
Still, she chose not to criticize or judge him. In fact, she did the opposite, she encouraged his long-suffering partner to stay by his side and continue to support and love him, because she understood that he was also just a product of his upbringing, like herself. Meanwhile, he faithfully continued judging and belittling her. Because that is what he had seen their mother do all his life.
But one day, something inside her finally shifted. She had reached a point of no return and decided to start standing up for herself! Enough already.
The Magical Possibilities Of 6,000 Thoughts
According to a 2020 study at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario, we have more than 6,000 thoughts a day. From a spiritual perspective, this is fascinating, but also potentially troublesome.
Those of us who are metaphysically aware know that our thoughts create our reality. Not only do our positive or negative thoughts determine what will manifest in our lives, but also how we choose to feel and act based on those 6,000 daily thoughts!
In addition, we tend to have lingering thoughts and nagging worries that we obsess over throughout the day. The more we repeat those same toxic thoughts, the more they gain energetic momentum and manifesting power. Thoughts are energy vibrations, and thoughts become things.
We all have the innate spiritual freedom to act of our own free will. Every thought we have comes with choices and options. It can range from a simple decision to stop thinking a particular negative thought…to making a life-changing decision.
Unfortunately, most people make the same choices over and over again. They stick with what is safe, comfortable, familiar, or predictable, while ignoring the other options that may be open to them. This is often how we get stuck in comfort zones, or struggle to manifest the things we dream about.
In order to manifest new things and invite change into our lives, we must carefully examine our thought patterns and habits. If we choose the same responses and actions to the same thoughts every day, we cannot expect to move forward, or create a new reality. Often the problem is not the thoughts we think, but how we choose to feel and act in response to those thoughts.
Embracing Growth Challenges In Your Relationship
At some point in a romantic relationship, we all face challenges that test our connection with our partner or spouse. People disagree, make mistakes, and experience conflict. It’s human nature.
However, it is important to realize that most problems in a developing relationship are often not inherently negative or catastrophic. Instead, they present valuable opportunities for personal growth, healing, and self-discovery.
If you believe that your happiness in a relationship depends on finding the perfect partner, it’s time for a new perspective. The key to a happy relationship is to remove personal barriers one at a time. By doing so, you can fully immerse yourself in love and become a magnet for attracting the right partner into your life.
Consider the following five common issues that many new couples face and how you can learn from them to foster a stronger, more fulfilling connection with your significant other.
The Happiness Myth
Some people go into a new relationship expecting their partner to bring them the complete state of happiness, joy, and fulfillment they have always sought. But others cannot make us happy, joyful, or fulfilled because achieving this is always an inside job. It starts with us.