Love & Relationships
Learning To Truly Be With Yourself
A fellow psychic encouraged me many years ago in a reading to be ‘with myself’ and not just ‘by myself.’ There was a difference she explained, as this was a process of getting to know our own true essence. But being yourself can be an uncomfortable pathway for introspection! It is a lot easier to distract yourself with work, entertainment, chores, socializing and all the other ways we tend to divert our attention away from looking within.
A wise client told me recently that it was during the recent pandemic lockdowns that her journey towards true self-love really began. My clients are often my most important teachers, as they prompt me at times to look deeper into a situation.
She had been going through intense periods of intense reminiscing, especially regarding relationships. Most of her flashbacks related to two significant past relationships which, after investing so much of herself, had not worked out.
One of her partners just didn’t want to commit and was wrapped up in a materialistic obsession of striving to achieve business success. The other, whom she loved very much, left her for another woman.
Ironically, after years of loneliness and looking for ways to fill that void, this ex she whom she used to love so much, recently got back in touch with her. Apparently, he wants to be a part of her life again, once he´s finally sorted out his disastrous relationship with the woman he left her for.
But she now feels she has healed, forgiven him, and truly fallen in love with her own company, and therefore she wouldn’t want him in her space too much, and that any future moments they do spend together will be on her terms.
She has nailed it when it comes to truly being ‘with yourself,’ instead of lonely ´by yourself.’
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.
The Soul Purpose Of Your Life Lessons
Each one of us arrived on the planet with a hand-picked bundle of life lessons we signed up for before birth. These challenges serve as the corner stones our life journey and spiritual path.
Some of our karmic lessons are fun and exciting, while some can be shockingly difficult, even traumatic. How you will ultimately manage to handle them is a lesson within itself.
Our lessons are what will bring us to our highest good in this lifetime, but only if we manage to truly learn from them. Unfortunately, we sometimes tend to hold on to denial and simply refuse to learn. If learning your lessons have slowed you down, rise up and seek the purpose. Begin your move forward to achieve all that has been laid on your life plate.
Life lessons must be dealt with in a manner that will help you gain insight, and possibly even humble you, to seeing life and the world in a different light. Our lessons are however never meant to devastate or destroy us. In the extreme it might bring us to a dangerous edge of realization, but in the end it will always bring forth our most hidden qualities and profound gifts and blessings.
If we take our lessons head on, one by one, and learn each one of them fully, we will never have to learn that same lesson again. But if we choose to block the process and refuse to see the truth, we will experience it over and over, until we have learned.
Over the many years of doing psychic readings, I have found people with benevolent hearts often have many more life lessons to learn. Often these people are spiritual lightworkers or serve in the helping and caring professions And because of their empathy, loving kindness and compassionate generosity towards humanity, nature and all the sentient creatures of the earth, they bear a heavy responsibility in the world. They are the anchors of goodwill toward mankind. They are the keepers of joy, truth, peace, and hope; the Universal healers and earth angels.
Dealing With Negative Energy This Holiday Season
What do you do when you have to go to a family holiday gathering you have dreaded all year? What is supposed to be a positive, happy reunion this time of the year is often a negative, argumentative and energetically draining occasion!
I know from experience that diverse personalities show up to these types of gatherings and over the years I have learned to keep quiet, and smile, and muster through it. I have helped several of my clients lately find solutions to deal with these challenging situation.
There was the uncle that swears around the children who my client is trying to raise in a loving, Christian environment. I have also helped a client find out why her sisters-in-law and mother-in-law constantly gossip about her behind her back. I have helped bring light to a client’s ongoing problems with her siblings’ argumentative nature.
I want you to know that the choice is yours if you choose to deal with these people. Remember you always have free will, even in the most dire circumstances. You don’t have to be around family members who steal your energy and drop their poison of negative energy and comments on you.
It’s unhealthy to put yourself in situations that are uncomfortable, especially when the environment is saturated with dis-ease. Sometimes you have to exercise your right to say: “No thank you, I will pass!” If you do this, you will find you have more energy for those that do treat you well and don’t talk about you behind your back.
Also, do not allow yourself to feel guilty that your not going to attend. Make positive changes this holiday season by saying no to unnecessary stress, negative people and toxic energy. Embrace your own assertiveness for the betterment of your health and mental well-being.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Shine Your Heart Light This Holiday Season
Times have been tough this year. The alignment of the stars have not been overly kind to most of us. Public health crises, economy, politics, mayhem. And in this atmosphere relationships are even tougher than ever to navigate, especially with Venus and Pluto aligning in Scorpio.
My beloved dad, who passed twelve years ago, often said, “It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.” Situations or people may appear hopeless and dark in these times, but it is important to remember that even the smallest flicker of just one tiny candle can shine a light for others to hold on to. Astrologer Pam Gregory, reminds us to breath into our heart centers, to raise our vibrations. In doing so, each one of us can be that tiny candle, flickering in the dark.
The holidays will bring families together. But holidays can either be celebratory occasion of merriment and cheer… or a war zone of toxic viewpoints and unwelcome meddling. It can often be an unresolved issues ‘free-for-all.’ A nosy sibling might tell you what they think, while you did not ask their opinion! Or, Uncle Bob may dip a little too frequently into the spiked eggnog, drowning all the fa-la-la in his wake.
It occurs to me now that the happy Bing Crosby tune Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate The Positive I heard on the radio earlier was no accident.
You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
Dealing With ‘Unawakened’ Friends And Family
Spiritual awakening is a profound shift in our perception that forever alters the way we experience life. But after we have made the shift it can be difficult to relate to less spiritually aware friends and relatives and leave one feeling lonely and deeply isolated.
The following strategies can be helpful in cultivating more harmony between yourself and ‘unconscious’ people without compromising your own energy vibration.
COMPASSION AND EMPATHY
At one time you were also not awakened. Think back to what that was like. What kind of thoughts dominated your mind? How did you feel about your life? How did you feel in general? The truth is, although you’ve gone through a spiritual awakening, you can still relate to those who have not. You have a point of reference for this.
Someone who is unconscious typically doesn’t have a pleasant inner world, because they aren’t intentionally governing it. Think back to what your life and most importantly – your relationship with yourself and your mind – looked like before your awakening. What did your own resistance look like? At some point your perspective shifted. But prior to that point – how receptive were you to changing your views and ideas? Especially when a family member came to you and said, “Hey, you’re doing it wrong.”
Put yourself in their shoes. Now that you’ve awakened you have the pleasure to start putting it to use in a way that serves the highest and best good of all. Remember that every soul is a spiritual being, and just because you have awakened to this fact, does not make you ‘better than’ anyone else. This is a trap that the ego likes to throw up early, and often along the spiritual path.
The ego is something we must constantly be mindful of. You are not more spiritual because you are vegan, or because you meditate, or because you do Yoga. If you are living in judgment of others through these practices, you are trapped in ego. Be mindful of yourself and come back to a state of compassion and empathy. Allow people to awaken in their own time.