Forgive, But Never Forget!

I’ve been reflecting on the notion of ‘forgive and forget’ in this season of thanksgiving, joy, generosity, and gratitude. Is it indeed necessary for us to both forgive and forget when others wrong us? Does that not make is doormats or losers? Consulting spirit on this matter, I found that the concept of ‘forgetting’ actually implies something quite different to our typical understanding of it.

True forgiveness is to ‘turn the other cheek’ when we are wronged. It is an essential aspect of our spiritual growth and soul evolution. When we practice forgiveness, we increase dharma, which is essentially ‘cosmic law and order’ and therefore ‘good karma.’  If we have good dharma, we begin to receive more gifts and blessings from the Universe, and spontaneous kindness and generosity from others. We also become more approachable because our ‘gratitude glass’ is always more than half full with spiritual champagne!

Spiritual practice and energetic self-care are the optimal ways to practice and strengthen our forgiveness. Through daily prayer, meditation, candle work, or journaling, supplemented by anointing ourselves with healing essential oils, for example, or taking an Epsom salt bath, we can release all resentment, anger and bitterness that block our energy flow and holds us back.

The other person does not need to know that we’ve forgiven them. It is of course even better if we tell them, but their participation or approval is not necessary. Forgiveness is a private matter and a gift we give to ourselves.

Forgetting harms and hurts is however an entirely different matter. If we forget too easily, we also tend to stop reflecting gratefully on our joys and blessings. Bad things happening to good people increases our appreciation and gratitude for the good things in our lives.

Don’t ever underestimate the power of forgiveness. I’ve seen it free people. I’ve seen it lift burdens that had weighed them down and kept them from moving on ~ Buffy Andrews

Forgetting also means we let go of the critical lessons in our life that tend to ‘take the brakes off’ our lower self.  If we retain the insights and wisdoms of these lessons, we can avoid repeating the same mistakes repeatedly and learn to intuitively seek out better people and more uplifting experiences. The creation of our reality begins with us.

To forget is to create a karmic debt that, like a spiritual backpack, becomes heavier and more burdensome to carry over time. We obtain less ‘value’ from unpleasant events and situations and people who wrong us. To forgive, but also remember, empowers us to get our fair share from whatever we had to endure. Forgiving and remembering is in other words the best form of ‘revenge’ or ‘getting one’s own back.’ A sincere ‘turning of the cheek’ makes us wiser and stronger, not more of a victim. Personal power is inversely proportional to karmic debt. This is because a heavy karmic load inhibits our integrity and inner peace, creating blockages that prevent us from manifesting our highest good.

But one must be patient and brave during the forgiveness process. Some situations require more time and effort than others. Furthermore, some of us inherited more karmic debt in this lifetime compared others, due to our own past mistakes, as well as the follies of our ancestors.

If you want to see the brave, look at those who can forgive. If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred ~ Wayne Muller

Fortunately, someone with a higher karmic debt releases that massive load once they truly find forgiveness. It results in a much greater dharmic abundance, which is always very welcome! It also grants the recipient deep knowledge, wisdom, and compassion that they may share with others. They can be of meaningful service to more people because they have endured the journey at a slower pace and accumulated much deeper knowledge and wisdom.

So, if you’re feeling annoyed or angry with relatives this holiday season when old feuds and grudges resurface, aim to practice ‘forgiving and remembering.’  Say, “I forgive you and I’m grateful for how this circumstance is releasing my karmic debt.”

When we forgive, we release karmic stress. Sincere forgiveness will send your serenity skyrocketing! And external influences and toxic people no longer hold any power over you. Forgiveness is often mistaken to be a gift for the recipient, when in truth it most benefits the forgiver. When we turn the other cheek and forgive more often, our vibration soars to the heavens.