Love & Relationships
Learning To Check In With Spirit
It is likely you have a friend, co-worker or relative that is in an unhealthy or even abusive relationship. We all know people who are kind, sweet, giving, and thoughtful, who become involved with emotionally absent, dysfunctional, abusive partners.
I know someone who is currently in such a situation. Her loving nature and generosity far exceeds anything I have ever experienced in another person, and I count myself exceptionally lucky to have her as my friend.
We have known each other for many years, but have only recently developed a much closer relationship, because we have both experienced a deep loss in recent years. Grief and bereavement becomes somewhat more tolerable if one has a close friendship in which you can safely express and share your sorrow.
Judging by my friend’s gentle, kind nature one might expect she would be with a life partner who has similar traits and appreciates her, but shockingly she is in one of the most toxic relationships I have ever encountered. She is not being physically assaulted, but she is subjected to unbearable verbal and emotional abuse.
It has been going on for a very long time. I continue to offer her my unconditional love and support but feel at a loss beyond that. I have asked her why she is still in that situation with so very little to indicate there will ever be any miraculous changes? But she has always evaded these questions.
Recently, she finally confessed her reason for staying with him: she is worried about what people might think and say if she leaves him! I asked her what people? She replied, her friends and family. They might find fault with her for breaking up the family.
How To Heal Your Broken Heart
In the 1960’s Roy Orbison belted out the song, It’s Over. Even at four years of age, it stirred my emotions hearing it on the radio. In 1984, I heard the exact same words from a man I very much loved and believed to be ‘the one.’ Thankfully, he was not, but that is another story.
He turned to me and said, “We’re not a good match.”
I remember that moment as if it were yesterday. My heart jumped and my knees turned to jelly. I felt so lost and alone, as well as almost every other negative emotion possible…from anger and hurt, to frustration and hopelessness. All these emotions coursed through my body like a freight train.
How was I going to cope without him in my life? What will become of me? What do I do now that it is over?
At 24 years of age, I did not have much experience dealing with loss, disappointment, and grief as I do today. Today, as a practicing psychic with many years of professional experience, I would offer my younger self the following spiritual advice regarding healing a broken heart.
Acknowledge
I believe we can also mourn the living, just as much as we grieve for someone who has passed away. Indeed, acknowledging finality, in whatever form the finality presents itself, can be a challenging thing to do, especially if you are emotionally involved with someone. That said, it is much better than holding onto false hope, which is far worse. Continue reading
Be True To Yourself To Find Your Soulmate
How do I find my soulmate? This is indeed the magic question. Many people are constantly searching for that special person, but just seem unable to find them.
Actually, achieving this life goal is often simpler than most people believe it to be. The direct path to your soulmate is paved with clarity of intention. Many people do not find what they wish for in life simply because they don’t know what they are looking for.
Sometimes, people end up finding the person they used to be looking for a decade or two ago, because they never ‘updated’ their intention. As we grow and evolve in our life, our priorities, goals, wants and needs change. But we do not always make the effort to match our intention and energy vibration to it.
To find your soulmate, the first thing to recognize, or reconsider, is what do you truly want? Make a list of traits you wish for in a partner: caring, sense of humor, fun-loving, adventurous, happy, joyful, good listener, honest, dependable, loyal, respectful, kind, confident, nurturing, strong, ambitious, trustworthy?
Keep the list short and concise, as the more complicated your wish list becomes, the longer and more complicated the manifesting process will become. Nobody is perfect, do expect too much. Instead identify your shortlist of ‘must have’ qualities that are non-negotiable. Identify your absolute deal-breakers.
You must look at what is really important to you; what is a priority. Once you have decided, stick to those items of priority. Every time you meet someone new, make sure the person has these qualities. If they don’t, move on. This is key to finding your happiness and fulfillment – not to settle for less than you deserve.
You need to believe you deserve this and to be happy. It sounds basic and simple, but you will be surprised to know how many people tend to put their own needs last and end up with someone who who treats them poorly…just to be with someone. It is important to remember you are important. Ask yourself honestly what you want, need and deserve.
Stop Blocking Yourself!
Have you ever felt like your life is just going nowhere, or you can’t connect emotionally to another person? At these times there is always one thing after another, and events in your life simply don’t seem to ‘gel’, or go right. Maybe you can’t get the job you want, or you are lonely.
There are so many barriers we have to deal with, but there is a way to overcome all of this. The best way to do it is by truly knowing yourself – through self-discovery – and by letting go of people and material things that hold you back.
So many times we invest so much wasted energy in people-pleasing. Instead of constantly trying to please others, we could use this time to live a happier life, with greater more spiritual awareness, which will in turn make us much more useful in our service to others. Instead we spend so much time thinking about things we may have done wrong, the wrong others have done to us and regretting what we could have done differently
When we try and reason about our mistakes it just leads to anguish, because we have a lack of faith – faith in God and in ourselves. But, if we go before the thrown of God and get on bended knees, we will find that inner peace, grace and forgiveness that so many people venture off to far of places, looking to find. That inner peace and joy is always there and available, we just have to look up!
Also, we are concerning ourselves too much with the things of the world, putting too much value on financial success and material possessions. These can become obstacles that keep us from connecting with those we love, or want to love. It is pure self-sabotage.
Learning The Lesson Is The Only Way Forward
Doing readings for people all over the world, I am asked ‘why’ questions every day. Why am I so unlucky? Why does nothing ever go right for me? Why is God punishing me? Why can’t I ever win in life? Why am I never successful and happy like everyone else?
Prior to coming to this earth plane, each of us asked to experience certain life challenges and lessons for our soul growth. For example, some of us asked for the lesson of unconditional love. However, to achieve unconditional love, someone must first cause us harm or hurt, for us to learn to truly forgive them. Only then can we truly experience unconditional love.
I have had many clients tell me over the years that they will never forgive someone for what they had done to them. They refuse to let it go. It is indeed a difficult lesson. In fact, all life lessons are very challenging. To make matters worse, if we do not successfully learn the lesson to complete the process, the same lesson will be presented to us again, and again, until we do.
This is why you someone will repeatedly have the same relationship issues with different partners. No matter who they form an attachment with, the complications, challenges and dramas are always more of the same. The spiritual growth lesson is never dealt with and released. Many people spend a lifetime in these never-ending loops.
Ask yourself what you want to see change or happen in your life. What do you consider to be the most positive, best outcome for your future? Then imagine for a moment that you have already achieved this life goal. Now, how does it feel to be in that positive place? If you can see yourself in that place and sense the love of your guides and angels in that place with you, then and only then, are you truly ready to move forward with the positive energy you need to actually achieve it.
Balancing Sun And Moon Energies
The Sun and Moon have very different metaphysical energies and we are strongly affected by both. For example, a circumstance or event that might make you sad during the day, may completely wipe you out emotionally at night. This is because our hormones shift at night.
I worked for many years teaching prenatal Yoga and helping expectant moms. Their emotions typically ran very high at night. Their concerns about labor was latent in their thoughts during the day, but at night they would sometimes become terrified. Most women also go into labor at night and give birth during the day.
Things become surreal at night. I believe our hormones, the Moon’s energy, and a lessened ability to see in the darkness all greatly affect us.
At night, the right side of the brain is dominant. This is our spiritual, intuitive, subconscious, feminine side. During the day, the left hemisphere of the brain is dominant. This is our practical, thinking, productive physical, masculine side.
The left side of the body is controlled by the right hemisphere of the brain and is Sun-based, while the right side of the body is controlled by the left hemisphere and is Moon based. The Moon exudes feminine energy. The feminine rules the right side of the brain, which is the maternal, emotional, creative, dreamy side. The Sun rules the left side of the brain, which is the paternal side which rules logic, production, protection, and work.
When you are having difficulty sleeping it is usually because the left hemisphere of the brain has kicked in when it should be inactive. This is when you start thinking about all the things you need to do the next day, or the stressful challenges you faced the day prior.
Reversing The Reversals
You’re moving at a breakneck pace and everything is going like gangbusters. Good health, great job, satisfying relationship. You just moved in with the person of your dreams and you’re banking some major coin that gives you many options in life. Travel, designer clothes, flashy car with all the latest bells and whistles. You’re the belle of the ball, the center of attention, feeling like Ms Scarlett O’Hara in Gone With The Wind.
Any problems you might have, like those recurring nightmares in which you’re being chased and can’t get away, you simply disregard. You’ll rather think about it tomorrow. Every morning you simply turn a blind eye and start another glorious day. Today is good, forget about last night. No time to see the truth in the rear view mirror.
And then a global pandemic hits. Suddenly the entire world is reversed and upside down. Everywhere people are dropping out and tuning into misery. You’re stuck at home with your new live-in partner who no longer looks so shiny, neither does the new car, even with all those bells and whistles.
You’re feeling shell-shocked, overwhelmed, scared. You feel like a trapped lab rat, waiting for an insidious disease to strike. Meanwhile you are getting a crash course in relationship 101, learning about all your partner’s peccadilloes, those annoying little quirks and habits you used to find so cute. Then the awesome job goes away, and you and lab rat partner are left to fight all the time. One of you needs to leave. But neither of you can go anywhere.
All you can do is go within. Sleep becomes a refuge, until those nasty nightmares become more of a reality to you than your waking life. And now you feel like a zombie; the dead version of your former vibrant self.
This is what’s called a reversal in life. Dramatic? Yes. Depressing? Absolutely. We all encounter it from time to time, the reversals, the spiritual contrasts. Sometimes not quite so dramatic, other times even more so.