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True Healing Begins With Holding Space
A work associate and friend recently offered me a free healing session, which he describes as ‘holding space.’ It involves the healer simply ‘being present’ and mindful in the moment with the client during a video call.
He explained the process beforehand and informed me that was going to simply talk and express myself, with no prompting from him. I gratefully accepted his kind offer.
I was not sure what to expect, but having studied various healing modalities myself over the years and being naturally curious about all aspects of spirituality and holistic health, I was open to the experience.
To begin he invited me to just relax and focus on my breathing. Once he senses that I was ready to proceed, he encouraged me to simply begin talking about whatever came to mind.
“Oh no,” I secretly thought, “what on earth will I talk about?”
Well, I soon discovered that it wasn’t difficult at all! I spontaneously began talking, and soon it was pretty much non-stop! I kicked off talking about my concerns for my aging pets, and then went on to other everyday worries and domestic matters. Eventually, I switched to my family history – specifically focusing on all the times I had felt invisible or let down by relatives.
About halfway through, I briefly hesitated and asked my friend if he was not maybe getting bored? But he assured me that he was perfectly fine, adding that this kind of work was very much a calling for him. He later explained that he has overcome several life challenges and tragedies himself over the years, and subsequent soul-searching, as well as further training in various holistic practices, ultimately led him to begin holding space for others.
The Romantic Challenges Of Being An Empath
I frequently do readings for clients who are discovering their empathic abilities, as well as awakened empaths who are still working on their self-empowerment. The majority of empaths that I have worked with over the years have all been in very high-stress romantic situations that do nothing but magnify what these highly sensitive people are already experiencing. While this is no doubt confusing, frightening and intense for the empath, one must consider the fact that it also greatly impacts their partners.
An empath a highly sensitive person who is very aware of the feelings, moods and motivations of other people and are deeply affected by the energies around them. This is experienced by the empath in many ways, including as physical sensations, moods, and emotions, as well as an inner knowing of what lies beneath the surface of other people’s words and actions. An empath has the ‘psychic radar’ to hone in intuitively on the truth of a person or situation.
Relationships, especially romantic ones, can therefore be a nightmare for empaths, and their partners. While their partner may be saying one thing, the empath ‘knows’ or ‘feels’ something different, and can sense if their partner is being dishonest or deceitful. While this can be useful at times to protect the empath from pursuing relationships with the wrong kind of person, it can also be very damaging and destructive to a potentially happy, healthy relationship with loving partner.
It can be very disconcerting and intimidating for the romantic partner of an empath to feel so constantly questioned, judged and exposed. I get many calls from empaths who are deep in an argument stemming from their partner’s refusal to come clean about what is really going on, or what they are truly feeling. The more the partner protests, the more the empath pushes and prods, leading the partner to shut down, withdraw, or disconnect completely.
Don’t Walk On Eggshells Anymore!
Do you often find yourself around people that make you feel like you have to monitor every single thing you say, for fear you may be hurting their feelings? Do you constantly have to be cautious and guarded around certain people in your life, because they internalize everything you say? It really is like walking on eggshells!
I used to have a friend like that. At first I complied, but then one day I decided to start talking like I would normally talk to my other friends. I wanted to see what effect it would have on this person. Well, it actually helped in the end, as it soon made her see how silly she was being. In fact, she even confessed to how she felt bad for reacting as if the entire world revolved around her and her feelings. It turned out to be a meaningful opportunity for her personal growth.
Also, have you ever known anyone whom you shared some inner most concern or anxiety with, and they act like you are making a mountain out of a molehill? You trusted them by sharing your inner most fear or heartache, and they react like it is nothing or you are just being silly. They may even turn around and act as if what you are saying is just plain wrong, or irrelevant! As a highly sensitive person I have experienced this many times in my life and it’s no fun, trust me. And if you’re like me, you just stop talking to this person all together about anything that may deeply matter to you.
These interpersonal experiences can be frustrating and hurtful, but also very valuable to learn from. As soon as this kind of interaction happens with someone, it is useful to reflect on whom you can really trust and have faith in, and who not. If you become more aware of whom you surround yourself with, more people will come into your life that will truly hear you and really have compassion and a deep understanding of what you’re trying to impart. They will also be willing and able to give great advice and be a great sounding board for you, without being egotistical or simply uncaring!
Start Your Lifetime Of Happiness Today
What does it take to be truly happy? This seemingly simple question is one of the most difficult to answer. As a psychic advisor who has been relaying guidance from spirit for over wo decades, I have come to understand that happiness is determined by several factors. Spirit has repeatedly shown me over the years that true happiness is a holistic thriving of the mind, body, and soul. It is also a unique state of being for every person.
Sometimes people are also more, or less happy than they might realize. And in my experience reading for people all over the world, many folks also have no idea what would truly make them happy. Have you ever asked yourself what makes you happy, or will make you happy? It certainly is not fame and fortune…that much I do know.
In the many relationship and career readings I do, I also find some of my clients tend to put their own needs aside to take care of others. They prioritize other people’s happiness, instead of their own. This is at times very kind and noble, but spirit says it is always important to remember that you matter most in your life, because if you are not happy…you can also not offer others very much for very long.
Too many people give, and give, and compromise, and sacrifice, yet never get much, if anything, in return. Which in turn leaves them feeling empty and miserable to the extent that they are no longer able to be there for themselves, nor anyone else. Taking care of yourself first is not a luxury, but a necessity…and a spiritual duty.
Ask yourself today: Am I happy? If the answer is ‘no’ or ‘not sure’ then ask yourself why? What seems missing? Which of your needs are not being met? When was the last time you felt content or fulfilled, and why? Carefully consider what changes you can make in your life to fill in your happiness gap. This might seem silly or simplistic, but do give it some thought…you might just surprise yourself.
The Blessing Of True Friendship
Too often we make a self-limiting choices in life based on negative past experiences, which then keeps you from enjoying new, wonderful experiences, meeting new people, or learning a new talent or skill. To truly be free we must allow ourselves to let go and just be. We must remain willing to live an authentic life and selectively make ourselves vulnerable. Replaying the past over and over in your mind is draining and counter-productive.
I normally don’t open myself up easily to new friendships. I work with people all day, so that is how I get much of my social interaction. I love to help people and my clients are pretty much my family. I feel very connected to my regular callers, as they tend to be the most open-hearted and like-minded people. In my personal life I haven’t been so lucky, as many people are just not open to the alternative ideas, lifestyles and beliefs. In fact, some people are completely closed-off and narrow-minded about the mystical and the metaphysical.
I am not alone in this. A 2019 study, for example, revealed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. The study also found that he average american has three best friend and five reasonably good friends, as well as about eight people they like but do not spend any time with. However, this does not automatically guarantee that these people we consider to be our friends always feel the same way about us. A 2016 study found that this is probably only true for about half of friendships. Yes, only 50 percent of our perceived friendships are actually mutual and reciprocal!
Recently, I took a chance on a new friendship outside my work life, and I am very blessed to say that it reminded me that it’s okay to let the walls down so sometimes, and not to worry about stepping on toes or feeling like you have to walk on egg shells. I guess we just need to be smart about our choices. I have always been drawn to calm, centered, casual people who have a good sense of humor.
Letting Go Heals Our Silent Pain
Too often we are not aware of the emotional pain in others. We are blissfully ignorant of the invisible pain that they are suffering. This is the secret pain of grief, of tragedy and loss. It is often the silent pain that many of us carry inside, a pain we secretly endure every day.
Our grief and sorrow is something we hide from the world, because we tend to feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty for not being ‘stronger.’ The fast-paced modern world we live in has little patience with those who need time to mourn and heal. Life goes on, they say.
Those who are grieving must get through their pain as best they can, often without having anyone to talk to or no one wo cares to understand. They must simply put on a happy face and get through the day.
Sometimes people are having a hard time processing a loss or disappointment because they do not want to let go. Why would anyone choose to hold on to the pain, you may ask? Well, there is sometimes a strange comfort found in a state of holding on. When our world feels upside down and the future seems uncertain, we tend to hold on to the familiarity of the past, of the life we once knew.
The energy of such an ongoing state of silent pain soon becomes an imbalance in the throat chakra and blocks our ability to heal. The throat chakra plays a very big part, because it is our energy center of truth, the seat of our power to communicate our free will and talk about our true feelings.
Suppressed mental and emotional pain in time manifests itself in our body in many debilitating ways, such as migraine headaches, stomach aches, physical discomfort and a variety of other symptoms and potential health problems. Only when the pain is addressed and processed, will it go away and will our well-being improve.
The Courage To Rescue Your Inner Child
Many people wish they had better memories of their childhood. For some the traumatic experiences of their youth is something they would much rather forget. But spirit has shown me that each piece of our life happens for a reason.
Learning to overcome and rise above the negative events in our life enables us to grow and expand. We do not get to pick and choose the parts we like, and discard the rest in the deepest closet of our mind. We become an empowered, improved version of ourselves when we find healing and forgiveness by redeeming even the worst parts of our life experience.
We all matter. We all bring unique gifts to this world. No matter what has happened to us, we must rescue every lost or damaged moment of our life journey. Those tragic events and awful experiences are what molds us into who we are today and who we are meant to become.
Nobody chooses some the things that might happen to them: family dysfunction, separation, divorce, rivalry, abuse, loss, death. As children we often blame ourselves for the things that happen around us, or we block it out, never wanting to remember it again. But this only means that you have left a part of yourself behind in the darkness of the past. But now that you are older and wiser, wouldn’t it be awesome if you could go back and save that part of you?
As a little girl I loved horses and dogs, but we could not afford to keep any. I made up for it by drawing them. My parents could also not afford to buy me expensive drawing paper, so I had to wait until my mom returned from the grocery store, because I would then get the used brown paper bags to draw on. It may seem somewhat silly, but to this day I still buy lots of paper whenever I get the chance! One would think there was going to be a shortage on paper, based on how I tend to stock up.