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The Blessing Of True Friendship
Too often we make a self-limiting choices in life based on negative past experiences, which then keeps you from enjoying new, wonderful experiences, meeting new people, or learning a new talent or skill. To truly be free we must allow ourselves to let go and just be. We must remain willing to live an authentic life and selectively make ourselves vulnerable. Replaying the past over and over in your mind is draining and counter-productive.
I normally don’t open myself up easily to new friendships. I work with people all day, so that is how I get much of my social interaction. I love to help people and my clients are pretty much my family. I feel very connected to my regular callers, as they tend to be the most open-hearted and like-minded people. In my personal life I haven’t been so lucky, as many people are just not open to the alternative ideas, lifestyles and beliefs. In fact, some people are completely closed-off and narrow-minded about the mystical and the metaphysical.
I am not alone in this. A 2019 study, for example, revealed that the average American hasn’t made a new friend in five years. The study also found that he average american has three best friend and five reasonably good friends, as well as about eight people they like but do not spend any time with. However, this does not automatically guarantee that these people we consider to be our friends always feel the same way about us. A 2016 study found that this is probably only true for about half of friendships. Yes, only 50 percent of our perceived friendships are actually mutual and reciprocal!
Recently, I took a chance on a new friendship outside my work life, and I am very blessed to say that it reminded me that it’s okay to let the walls down so sometimes, and not to worry about stepping on toes or feeling like you have to walk on egg shells. I guess we just need to be smart about our choices. I have always been drawn to calm, centered, casual people who have a good sense of humor.
Letting Go Heals Our Silent Pain
Too often we are not aware of the emotional pain in others. We are blissfully ignorant of the invisible pain that they are suffering. This is the secret pain of grief, of tragedy and loss. It is often the silent pain that many of us carry inside, a pain we secretly endure every day.
Our grief and sorrow is something we hide from the world, because we tend to feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty for not being ‘stronger.’ The fast-paced modern world we live in has little patience with those who need time to mourn and heal. Life goes on, they say.
Those who are grieving must get through their pain as best they can, often without having anyone to talk to or no one wo cares to understand. They must simply put on a happy face and get through the day.
Sometimes people are having a hard time processing a loss or disappointment because they do not want to let go. Why would anyone choose to hold on to the pain, you may ask? Well, there is sometimes a strange comfort found in a state of holding on. When our world feels upside down and the future seems uncertain, we tend to hold on to the familiarity of the past, of the life we once knew.
The energy of such an ongoing state of silent pain soon becomes an imbalance in the throat chakra and blocks our ability to heal. The throat chakra plays a very big part, because it is our energy center of truth, the seat of our power to communicate our free will and talk about our true feelings.
Suppressed mental and emotional pain in time manifests itself in our body in many debilitating ways, such as migraine headaches, stomach aches, physical discomfort and a variety of other symptoms and potential health problems. Only when the pain is addressed and processed, will it go away and will our well-being improve.
The Courage To Rescue Your Inner Child
Many people wish they had better memories of their childhood. For some the traumatic experiences of their youth is something they would much rather forget. But spirit has shown me that each piece of our life happens for a reason.
Learning to overcome and rise above the negative events in our life enables us to grow and expand. We do not get to pick and choose the parts we like, and discard the rest in the deepest closet of our mind. We become an empowered, improved version of ourselves when we find healing and forgiveness by redeeming even the worst parts of our life experience.
We all matter. We all bring unique gifts to this world. No matter what has happened to us, we must rescue every lost or damaged moment of our life journey. Those tragic events and awful experiences are what molds us into who we are today and who we are meant to become.
Nobody chooses some the things that might happen to them: family dysfunction, separation, divorce, rivalry, abuse, loss, death. As children we often blame ourselves for the things that happen around us, or we block it out, never wanting to remember it again. But this only means that you have left a part of yourself behind in the darkness of the past. But now that you are older and wiser, wouldn’t it be awesome if you could go back and save that part of you?
As a little girl I loved horses and dogs, but we could not afford to keep any. I made up for it by drawing them. My parents could also not afford to buy me expensive drawing paper, so I had to wait until my mom returned from the grocery store, because I would then get the used brown paper bags to draw on. It may seem somewhat silly, but to this day I still buy lots of paper whenever I get the chance! One would think there was going to be a shortage on paper, based on how I tend to stock up.
Now Is The Time To Celebrate Life!
The time has come to recognize how far we have come and celebrate the sheer joy and privilege to be alive. Although Covid-19 is still around, and I personally know several people who are just now recovering from the illness, we are in a much better position now than a year or two ago. We have a lot to be grateful for as we start to work our way towards the future.
So, let’s celebrate! While still taking appropriate precautions, it is wonderful to be able to go out again, eat in restaurants and shop inside stores. A feeling of lightness is everywhere these days, with people really appreciating the ability to get back to some semblance of normal.
I see people smiling and laughing again while they are out and about, doing their daily errands, meeting friends, and attending functions and events. It seems even strangers are friendlier and more open to positive conversation and a more optimistic outlook nowadays. What a welcome change!
It is particularly satisfying to focus on and reconnect in person with the people who are important in our lives and make us feel happy. This year Mother’s Day was especially meaningful for many of us. It is always a beautiful opportunity to showcase the love for our mothers, both those who are still with us in this life, as well as those in spirit.
However, spirit impresses on me that honoring our mothers should happen more consistently than just one day per year. Each May, many of us resolve to show our love and respect all year through. So, how are we doing so far? Are we still honoring our mothers long after her special day is over?
A quick call, some surprise flowers, a little gift for ‘no reason’ are all lovely gestures that don’t take a lot of time or money, but can mean the world to mom, or stepmom, grandma or other maternal role-models who have touched our lives.
The Transformative Power Of The Moon
Does your energy change for better or worse when there is a Full Moon? Every person has some notion of what a Full Moon means to them.
When the Moon is full, it has an energy pull and charging capability that is unlike the new or quarter moons. During a Full Moon, I usually find it difficult to sleep – no matter how hard I try. The energetic pull is powerful. This is when my mind is most active.
A Full Moon is in fact the best time to open yourself to receive healing or spirit messages, to recharge your energy, or set intentions for manifestation to transform your life for the better. Crystals can also be put out under the Full Moon to charge them up and bring new life to them.
The Full Moon is a time to breathe in the good, release what does not serve you, and allow the Moon’s energy to take lighten your worries and lessen your burdens. A simple clearing ceremony becomes ‘super-charged’ under a Full Moon. Write down what does not serve you: your hurts, your disappointments, your anger and so on. Then burn this list outside, under the Full Moon, while asking the Universe, Source, God, Spirit, the Divine to cleanse the energy from your being.
I live close to a lake and when the Moon is full, no matter what time of year, it reflects off the lake in its various hues and colors. I always take a walk to the lake to allow this energy to feed my soul. It uplifts my spirit and makes me smile. Gazing at the beauty of the Full Moon brings new energy to you if you do it properly.
The next time there is a Full Moon, venture outdoors, look up and contemplate her beauty and power. Ask yourself, how do you feel standing there under the Full Moon? Ask yourself what you want to accomplish or change in your life? You need not do anything further. The manifesting and healing powers of the Moon will carry your intentions forward.
Trusting Your Inner Truth
Who in your life would you define as someone you could completely and totally trust? A parent, your spouse or partner, best friend, or a co-worker? Do you rely instead on the support of your angels, spirit guides or loved ones that have passed on? If you have someone you feel you can unconditionally rely on, be it in this life of the next, consider yourself blessed and fortunate.
However, if you struggle to trust anyone or anything, there is one source you can always trust if you allow yourself to be open to it. In fact, if you accomplish this you never have to rely on any external sources, both secular and spiritual.
This one true source is your inner guidance, your inner voice, your intuition, your soul wisdom. When we become more aware of our inner guidance we can discern for ourselves when there is a ‘twinge’ or a ‘gut feeling’ that we are being presented with a truth. If you are in alignment with what truly resonates within, it creates a strong bond with your higher self that ultimately places you in a position of complete self-trust.
To achieve this we need a strong personal belief system. Our belief or faith must be such that we are able to accept without question that we have an inherent ability to discern complete truth. We must have total faith in our own inner guidance and embrace our spiritual wisdom within.
If we do not believe and do not honor the inner wisdom that exists in all of us, we need to ask ourselves why not? What can we possibly find in the external world or in others that is more reliable than our own inner voice? Why might we trust what is outside ourselves more than what resides within.
Empowering Life Lessons From My Abusive Father
My father Jim had to grow up quickly in the tough pre-war years. He was the eldest of six children and he did not have an easy childhood, nor tolerant parents.
But life became even more challenging for Jim as he reached adulthood. My parents were married at the age of 21 and had three kids by 23, and another baby at 34.
Jim faced many challenges. As a result, to vent his frustration and process all the stress, he often took it out on those closest to him, namely his wife and children.
Let’s just say my father was not always the ideal husband and parent. It became so bad by the time I was an adult that he would do whatever he could to disrupt my life and my family in any way that you might imagine. The sad part was that he actually wanted to hurt us, as doing so gave him a bizarre sense of satisfaction and control over those closest to him.
I first became fully aware of my father’s desire to disempower his kids when I was about 22 years old. The year was 1982, and jobs were very hard to come by in the United Kingdom in those days. I had an office job but wanted something better. So, I decided to attend school for a year to learn shorthand and typing at the local technical college.
One day, I asked my dad if I could get a ride with him to college, because I had to sit an important exam at 2pm that day. He said I need not worry, as he would drop me off in plenty of time. But then he proceeded to make every excuse not to leave the house!
By quarter to two, I started to panic, as I could not possibly walk or catch a bus from my house to the college with so little time. At ten minutes to two, he finally agreed to take me to sit the exam, but then when we got in the car, he said he needed to go to the garage for gas. I looked at the fuel gauge and saw the car’s tank was full.
I suddenly realized he did not want me to sit the exam, as he did not want me to pass it and better myself and become more independent. Thankfully, his sabotage attempt failed, as I did pass the exam and went on to get a higher paying job.