soulmate
Attracting Your Vibrational Match Online
Does online dating actually work for people wanting to meet their soulmate? This is a question I have been asked many times in readings. Well, if I simply consider the many success stories I know of among my clients over the years, I can confidently confirm that it certainly does work. I know personally of a few lovely matches made online and they are still going strong.
However, from personal experience I can also add that I have learned the hard way that it is important to set up a proper profile and use the dating site or app wisely. The information you put on your profile is so important. You want to do your best to attract a ´vibrational match.’
My own online dating journey was initiated by a friend who was very familiar with online dating. In fact, she had actually met her soulmate online. Sadly, he passed away from an unexpected illness. A year later she was going online once more, ad she invited me along for the adventure. She encouraged me (or perhaps even dared me) to give it a go!
So, late one night, I created a profile on a well-known dating app, browsed a few profiles, and went to bed. The next morning, I had several messages in my inbox from men who wanted to connect. Since I was so new to this, I freaked out and called my friend in a flap panic!
With a school-teacher tone of voice, she patiently asked me ‘which way I had swiped’ whilst looking at profiles.
“I am not sure,” was my naïve response.
There was a pause on her end…and then raucous laughter, because apparently, I had inadvertently been telling just about every guy in my area that I ´liked´ them by swiping right. I quickly unsubscribed. No thanks, that was enough for my first try.
Let Your Authentic Self Shine
Most people at some point change something about ourselves in the hope of being better liked or accepted by others. Whether it’s a group of friends, a potential romantic partner, or the manager at work, there is constant pressure to conform and fit in. But in the long run, does this help? The truth is: it really doesn’t.
The notion of simply being your authentic self is challenging in an era where everyone seems to be seeking approval and attention. Therefore, the authentic self or the true version of our soul is something one hardly sees in the digital era of social media, influencers, likes, and followers.
However, we may think that a person we see online is someone others won’t like. Maybe our internal critic sees that person as ‘too much’ of something or ‘not enough’ of another. But we are often mistaken, as someone being true to themselves and keeping it real is what most people are spontaneously drawn to.
You might feel like you’re the only strange person at work, or the black sheep of your family, but you’re not the only one. There are thousands of ‘odd’ people out there right now with the same doubts as you!
The old saying ‘there’s a lid for every pot’ is always good to keep in mind. Your authentic self is just what someone else has been looking for. If you feel you don’t fit in with the crowd, take a step back and ask yourself whether you truly want to be part of it anyway? Knowing your true value and finding the things most important to you, will help determine who you want to surround yourself with.
It’s also important to set healthy boundaries. If you feel peer pressured into joining a group, or liking something simply to fit in, ask yourself if this is true to your core. Does it resonate with your authentic self?
When Relationships Are Not Meant To Be
I have in recent months become particularly aware how many people are increasingly reminiscing about failed past relationships. In some cases, these are relationships that go back many years. Some folks even go as far as stalking their ex-partners on social media!
I believe it is mainly due to the unusual circumstances caused by the pandemic over the past two years, which prevented the possibility of meeting a new people, or going out on dates. It also brought many of us intense life lessons regarding love, connection, belonging, and loneliness.
I see these issues coming up in many readings nowadays and it often doesn´t sit too well with some of my clients, who tend to feel that their ‘love luck is down,’ or that that the universe is somehow ‘punishing’ them. In extreme cases, folks even believe a hex or curse may have been placed on them.
I also find many people are talking about ´what ifs.’ If only they had done things differently, how things might have turned out differently. But perhaps, if things were meant to have worked out differently, it would have? Again, this would fall in line with certain life lessons we came to this world to experience. I believe we have chosen to incarnate into this world at a time when romantic and social relationships often tend to be more fleeting and distant, especially because of digital technology and our rushed modern way of living.
Interestingly, I am also seeing lately more divorcées remarrying their former spouse after spending many years apart, and despite having lived a new life with someone else in the interim. This often drives their children insane after all the heartbreak, drama and grief the divorce had unnecessarily caused the family. Again, a hard lesson, but a life lesson nevertheless for all concerned.
The Stages Of True Love
When we fall in love with a potential life partner, we need to understand the lessons and challenges it may bring. Couples grow further with each of these organic stages, and we can learn much about ourselves, as well as our beloved’s life, needs, wants, wishes, goals, and desires.
Those who do not make it through the initial stages will not stay together for very long, and if they do it may become a very toxic relationship situation. Meeting someone is only the first step of the journey. For lasting happiness and fulfillment, we must complete all the stages successfully.
The Matching Stage
Take a moment to feel each one of these checklist items and apply it honestly to your current relationship situation:
1: Attracted to what your eyes see.
2: Appearance, feeling comfortable with their way of dressing
3: Mannerisms, how they hold and present themselves.
4: Voice. Their voice sound has a comforting feeling.
5: Speech. The words they use resonate with your communication style.
6: Values. Does their values line up with yours in life?
7: Lifestyle. Does it blend with yours?
8: Obligations. Are they something you can accept?
9: Goals in life. Matching your goals is a must.
10. Past Experience, can you understand and let go of these.
Today’s Journey, Not Tomorrow’s Destination
I often hear my clients say, “If only I can meet my soulmate, then I will be happy.” Then when they meet that special person, they say they will finally be happy once they propose. Once they are married, then they cannot be completely happy until they have children.
Then, if they only one child, then can only be happy if they have a second. Or if they have two boys, they will only find lasting happiness once they also have a girl. Or they can only be happy once they have built or bought the dream house, or lost the weight, or launched their new business, and on, and on.
The worst scenario is people waiting for their retirement to finally be happy.
If you ask other people you will discover that nobody has everything they want. Most people have never had ‘everything.’ The few that might seem to have it all, usually do not. There is always something still lacking or missing. Nobody’s life is perfect.
Many of us spend our fleeting time on this planet wanting more, being insatiable, and never feeling fulfilled, content, or happy. It’s wonderful to have goals. Not having goals can be extremely depressing. But enjoying the process and journey toward achieving those goals will make them have even more valued and fulfilling.
More importantly, we are seldom grateful or appreciative for what we do already have. I have also found that not being grateful will bring us karmic lessons of appreciation, often by losing the good things in our life that we so easily disregard. I have seen that time and again with clients, friends and relatives.
We are an insatiable, greedy society. This who become millionaires, then want to be multi-millionaires., and then won’t be happy or fulfilled until they’re billionaires. When is enough, enough. We can only wear one outfit at a time, drive one car at a time and live in one house at a time.
I have so many friends who spent their children’s entire childhood chasing the career dreams and business goals, constantly being stressed, frazzled and not at all present when they do spend a little time with their kids. Then they wake up one day and realize their children are grown and gone, and they missed most of it.
Be True To Yourself To Find Your Soulmate
How do I find my soulmate? This is indeed the magic question. Many people are constantly searching for that special person, but just seem unable to find them.
Actually, achieving this life goal is often simpler than most people believe it to be. The direct path to your soulmate is paved with clarity of intention. Many people do not find what they wish for in life simply because they don’t know what they are looking for.
Sometimes, people end up finding the person they used to be looking for a decade or two ago, because they never ‘updated’ their intention. As we grow and evolve in our life, our priorities, goals, wants and needs change. But we do not always make the effort to match our intention and energy vibration to it.
To find your soulmate, the first thing to recognize, or reconsider, is what do you truly want? Make a list of traits you wish for in a partner: caring, sense of humor, fun-loving, adventurous, happy, joyful, good listener, honest, dependable, loyal, respectful, kind, confident, nurturing, strong, ambitious, trustworthy?
Keep the list short and concise, as the more complicated your wish list becomes, the longer and more complicated the manifesting process will become. Nobody is perfect, do expect too much. Instead identify your shortlist of ‘must have’ qualities that are non-negotiable. Identify your absolute deal-breakers.
You must look at what is really important to you; what is a priority. Once you have decided, stick to those items of priority. Every time you meet someone new, make sure the person has these qualities. If they don’t, move on. This is key to finding your happiness and fulfillment – not to settle for less than you deserve.
You need to believe you deserve this and to be happy. It sounds basic and simple, but you will be surprised to know how many people tend to put their own needs last and end up with someone who who treats them poorly…just to be with someone. It is important to remember you are important. Ask yourself honestly what you want, need and deserve.
The Powerful Practice Of Eye Gazing
Eye gazing, also known as ‘soul gazing,’ is a powerful meditative practice that can be done on your own, or with a partner. Eye gazing is an ancient tantric practice of looking deeply into someone’s eyes to foster a spiritual connection.
Eye gazing is a potent means of connecting with yourself and others to build genuine connection in your life. It is also an exciting way to build meaningful intimacy with a romantic partner. If you have trouble opening up to others, eye gazing can be an effective tool to help you get comfortable and confront any fears you may have around being seen. It can be done alone, with a friend, or with a romantic partner.
It is also a powerful tool for discovering how past lives may be helping or hindering you in your current incarnation, and for receiving messages directly from Spirit. It can be used as a method for communication with your guides and higher self.
Anyone can eye gaze, and I feel everyone should try it at least once! Whether you do it alone or with a partner, eye gazing can offer some profound insight and create potent shifts in our perspective that allow you to break limiting patterns in your life.
Eye gazing requires no special equipment or paraphernalia to set the mood, although it can be pleasant to light some incense or candles if desired. You can also use music but ensure that it is meditative, gentle, instrumental music without lyrics that will not distract you. The only thing you really need is a timer, as well as a partner, or mirror if you are gazing by yourself.
Typically, I encourage people to start gazing for just a few minutes at a time, but as you become more comfortable you can certainly increase the length of your gazes.