loss
Grandma’s Love Was The Best
I remember what Grandma was wearing when she passed away. I also recall exactly what she said and everything else that happened that day, right down to the violets I picked in the backyard to place in her hand. She was wearing an oversized Winnie the Pooh T-shirt that could have been a night dress, I’m not sure. She had her red robe on and black slippers lined with greyish fluff.
She was told she was being taken to the nursing home, but it was actually hospice she would be going to. She could no longer walk and had fallen, and no one was able to pick her up. Not even myself. I wish I could, but I just was not able to.
I sensed she wasn’t to going be with us very much, and I was very upset about it. But constantly having to give her blood transfusions and her being in so much pain, it was the right decision at the time. I have made peace with that now.
Settling her into the hospice, Grandma was adamant the bed be taken out, as it was unbearably uncomfortable. She kept saying, “I just want to go home and die. This is no way to live. I’m ready to go.” She also told me, if I ever needed her after she had gone, all I would have to do is call her name, and she would be there for me. Grandma kept her promise to me. To this day I still feel her around me all the time, especially when I think of her and call her name.
I think the worst thing I ever experienced in my entire life was walking into that hospice room after she had passed and seeing her shell of a body. She was no longer there, obviously, but she was still around. I felt she was somewhere in the room looking at us and saying her goodbyes.
Pain had made her very bitter towards the end of her life. She wasn’t herself anymore because she was on so many different strong medications and invasive treatments. I sensed that she longed to be with her departed husband and her dear mother who passed when she was just a young girl. Her mom was also a psychic and apparently really good with things like Numerology and dreaming lucky numbers. I loved hearing all those stories.
Honor Your Goals And Dreams
Sometimes the goals and dreams we aspire to remain dormant, because it may seem daunting, challenging, or even impossible. But these ambitions deserve their rightful place in our lives. There is certainly no shame in dreaming big, but there is potentially much disappointment in giving up on one’s goals and dreams too easily.
Several modern technologies, such as motion pictures, sound recording, alkaline batteries, the telephone and the electric light bulb, that we take for granted today were once deemed impossible, until Thomas Edison defied all odds and made scientific research the focus of his life.
At just 12 years old, Edison lost hearing in one ear and was nearly deaf in the other ear, but instead of feeling defeated he used this traumatic loss to increase instead his ability to focus. From a tragedy emerged an uncanny gift for unrelenting concentration for hours at a time without distraction.
Edison subsequently honored his dreams and transformed our world with many great inventions that have impacted out lives exponentially. His industrial research lab was established in 1876 and was one of the first laboratories that welcomed teams of scientists and inventors to participate in the process of invention.
The world as we know it today would not exist without the many contributions of Edison and his teams of fellow scientists and researchers. These individuals were true mavericks who honored their goals and dreams. Their unyielding focus drove them to uncover many scientific complexities. By honoring their vision, they harnessed the power of nature to bring light to the world, and so much more.
Working With Raphael, Uriel And Azriel
Archangel Raphael
Archangel Raphael is surrounded by a beautiful green glow that has a warm and soothing quality to it. Raphael is a healer of body, mind and spirit. When you call on him it is important to take deep breaths, because you will actually breathe in molecules of his essence. This will serve to heal you from within on a cellular level.
Raphael’s healing energy reprograms our cells with divine light. It can elicit profound and deep healings of physical and mental health issues, but consistency is the key. While his healing presence may cure a benign sniffle in just one session, a health problem that has become embedded in your cellular memory over a long period of time will require multiple treatment sessions with him. So, keep going!
Do not become frustrated if a situation doesn’t resolve itself overnight. In time the balance will eventually tip in your favor and the negative or toxic energy will be released from your mind and body once and for all.
Archangel Uriel
Archangel Uriel feels like a loving ‘grandfather.’ When I sense his presence around a client, it usually signals to me that a heart-to-heart conversation about life is in order.
Finding The Courage To Heal
All of us will experience some heartache, adversity and grief in our life. It may be a serious health scare, the ending of a relationship or marriage, the tragic loss of a loved one, retrenchment from a ‘secure’ job, sudden bankruptcy, becoming homeless due to a foreclosure, or becoming the victim of abuse and violence.
These major setbacks in life can be truly devastating, and the pain and trauma extremely difficult to rise up from again. In such times of loss or trauma, it is vital to allow yourself to feel your true emotions. To effectively process and heal from traumatic events. hardship and bereavement, we must acknowledge our raw feelings. Grief and trauma are deeply private and personal journeys with no rules and no deadlines.
However, do not allow the ego to keep you trapped indefinitely in a place of anger, bitterness, hopelessness, or self-pity. If left unattended for too long, our initial emotional responses to the negative event can become toxic in a way that simply keeps us away from our truly divine self and our future happiness.
Yes, it is always hard work to release intense loss or trauma and move forward. It takes courage, self-awareness, and inner strength. However, if you proceed with faith, trusting and believing that this too shall pass, and that there is a reason for everything, even if you don’t understand it right now, you will ultimately be able to move forward in a healthy and productive way.
No matter what happens to you in life, you will grow stronger and wiser by working through it. Regardless how intense the dark night of your soul may be, move forward step by step, day by day, trusting that you can heal and will become stronger. Focus on self-care and loving yourself and hold the faith that better days are coming into your life. We all deserve to be happy and have inner peace.
Paw Prints All Over My Heart
The agony of losing a dog is immeasurable. I lost my beloved Oliver, a King Charles Cavalier, several months ago and I’m still crying every day. But I have found some consolation in his afterlife signs and visits from the other side.
He was 11 years old and in perfect health, or so I thought. He’d had a full checkup three months prior and he had the test results of a very young dog! I also used to take him on long walks every day, his head held high, his tail wagging happily, a prancing skip in his step.
He was such a loving, happy dog. He stopped for every human, always begging for their attention and a pat on the head. Everyone knew him and loved him in the neighborhood.
He followed me around everywhere, lay under the table as I worked, always got up to join me for Yoga, and I left a spot for him behind my pillow every night at bedtime. I took him everywhere with me.
My 90-year-old mom lives across the street and that was his second home. He loved it there. One day, I was out running errands and he got loose. He then came knocking on my mom’s door looking for me there. She was always happy to see him and invited him in.
One day he simply stopped eating. He refused his favorite dog treats, would not even sniff peanut butter. Then he stopped drinking water. We immediately took him to the vet for tests. Not long after, the kind doctor phoned. My heart sank. “His organs are already shutting down, there’s nothing we can do for him,” he said.
We rushed back to the vet, praying he would hang on long enough so we could say our goodbyes. He did hang on for us. My husband, daughter and I were all together when we first picked him up as a puppy and now we were together to see him off. They didn’t even need to sedate him; he was already leaving his body and was calm as can be.
Just before they gave him the final injection, he suddenly turned his head and focused. I thought his loving gaze was on all of us, but my daughter insists he was only looking at me. There was no question he loved us all, but I did have an incredibly special connection with Oliver.
The Moral Of The Story
Since childhood, I have always loved fables and allegories, as well as the parables in The Bible. Indeed, one of my favorites is The Widow’s Two Mites in Luke 21. As a little girl, I used to listen intently to the story of the poor widow who gave more generously to charity than anyone else in the temple, because she gave all that she had. The life lessons and spiritual wisdom in these stories fascinated me.
Recently, I discovered an amusing tale that deals with both the ego and the need to be pragmatic. Three monks sat on a bankside, each in deep meditation. One of the monks, however, became cold, and this interrupted his ability to meditate. He told the other two that he was heading back to their cabin to find his blanket. Off he went, crossing the stream both ways with no problem. Soon he was back, in next to no time, and as dry as he was when he had left.
A short while later, another monk remembered that he had not left his wet clothes out to dry, so he too needed to head back to the cabin to tend to his laundry. Off he also went. The third monk saw, in amazement, how he easily walked across the water back to the cabin, and when he returned, just like the other monk, he was as dry as he had set off.
Seeing his two fellow monks cross the creek without getting wet infuriated the third monk. “So, you think you are both better than me!” he yelled at them. “Well, I will show you that if you can walk on water, then so can I!”
He ran up to the stream, put his foot on the surface of the water and instantly fell in, waist-deep! As a result, the third monk became even angrier and yet more determined to walk on the water. But time and time again he attempted to cross the creek without getting wet, but to no avail.
Distraught by his many failed attempts, one of the other two monks turned around to his friend and said, “Don’t you think it is time we tell him where those stepping stones are?”
This story did not only make me smile, but it also made me reflect upon my life. Indeed, there have been times when I allowed my ego, needlessly, to stand in the way of my better judgment. Like that third monk, I have also allowed myself to become envious and upset by comparing my own achievements to that of others.
Find The Eye Of The Storm
Your relationship is falling apart, you have lost your job, your finances are in a shambles, you suffer an unexpected loss due to a global pandemic. Chaos comes in many forms and at times it touches multiple areas of our lives at once.
The ripple effect starts in one area and then spreads insidiously, until every aspect of your life begins to look very bleak. Your emotional reserves are drained, confusion sets in and you feel stuck, powerless…reeling from the shock.
When things turn bad in your life this way it can have the force and power of a hurricane or tornado. It can be devastating.
Perhaps you sensed it coming. Your intuitive radar was ‘pinging’, sensing imminent danger, or maybe it caught you completely off-guard. Either way, the results are the same.
Now what? How do you get your bearings, recover your sense of direction, recharge your battery and get the inner strength to move forward?
All tropical storms have a center, or an eye. The stronger the storm the calmer the eye, which is characterized by lighter winds and a clearer sky. So, take a breath – a deep breath – and find your center. Find the eye of your storm.
Making decisions from fear or chaos always increases the strength and ferocity of the storm. Remember, all storms do pass. The beauty of life lies in the newness and change each moment offers us.