The Transformative Power Of Vulnerability

I find that spirit wants to remind us that vulnerability offers us a special kind of magic in our lives. It is a theme that comes up regularly in psychic readings I do for my clients.

Vulnerability can transform lives, careers, relationships and families in profound ways. But for many of us, life has taught us that being vulnerable is a ‘weakness’ that puts us at risk.

Many of us have built walls around ourselves to protect ourselves because we feel we risk rejection, judgment, or failure if we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. The ego tells us it’s best not to take those risks at all!

Instead, we harden our hearts and keep our distance, choosing to figure out what others might think, feel or do before we are willing to put ourselves out there in any way.

But by shying away from being open, authentic, and transparent with our thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, and desires, we actually block the very outcomes in life that we hope for.

So, how do you get more comfortable opening up and allowing yourself to be authentic and vulnerable? And how does that open you up to the very results you want to manifest in your life?

It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path ~ Brené Brown

When we experience loss, heartbreak, or disappointment in our lives, our human survival instinct kicks in and we tend to harden up, hiding our true feelings, hopes and dreams.

This leads many people to become secretive or insincere. We begin to pretend or play games, stop saying what we really mean, and refuse to reveal what we really need or want…all in the vain hope of achieving a certain outcome.

But when we don’t reveal what we really need or want, we end up depriving ourselves of those very things. If we don’t ask, we won’t receive. This is particularly true in relationships.

Too often we even say the opposite of what we mean in order to get a reaction from someone or to protect our own feelings. We may hope to gain some insight or reassurance. But it usually backfires.

For example, if you want to spend more time with someone and suspect that they don’t feel the same way, you might say something like, “You never want to spend time with me, it’s like you don’t care about me at all.”

Such an accusation is likely to raise the other person’s defenses rather than create the closeness and connection you crave. Instead, finding the courage to honestly express what you really feel and want will bring more clarity and foster more intimacy.

Instead, you could say something like, “I’ve really missed spending time with you lately. How about we get together more often, just the two of us?”

If we’re wrapping ourselves up to conceal any vulnerability, whatever happens to us has to go through all those extra layers. Sometimes love doesn’t even reach where we truly live ~ Alexandra Katehakis

This is vulnerability in action. It’s about being open and honest about your feelings and asking for what you want. It comes from a place of love rather than blame or judgment and is much more likely to be received positively by the other person. Vulnerability strengthens relationships.

Of course, in some cases, the other person may react negatively to you reaching out. So, yes, you still run the risk of being rejected or disappointed. But if they don’t feel the same way you do, then by being vulnerable you have uncovered the truth and can take the necessary steps to move on and heal your heart.

Vulnerability does not always get us what we want, but it always leads us to the truth, which is so much better than navigating a never-ending maze of pretense, insincerity, defensiveness, and deception.

Becoming more comfortable with being vulnerable takes courage and practice. It probably won’t feel natural or safe at first, especially if you’ve suffered a lot of trauma and have long felt the need to protect yourself.

The only way to become more comfortable with vulnerability is to consciously focus on it and practice it consistently. Once you begin to see the results and experience the rewards of your courage, it becomes much easier.

Be aware that becoming more open and vulnerable may also lead you to realize that some relationships in your life are not built to withstand this kind of honesty, for not everyone in your life will be able to receive this kind of vulnerability with an open heart and mind.

It’s important to realize that this is not a failure on your part. Rather, it is a way to help you determine who truly cares about you and who may be using you or keeping you around for convenience. Being vulnerable requires us to show courage and take emotional risks. It’s true that sometimes we may be disappointed or rejected, we may not get the outcome we’re hoping for. But being willing to be truthful and open puts us in the right space to receive the love, expression, and results we are looking for.

You can’t find intimacy—you can’t find home—when you’re always hiding behind masks. Intimacy requires a certain level of vulnerability. It requires a certain level of you exposing your fragmented, contradictory self to someone else ~ Junot Díaz

Another challenge you may face as you begin to embrace vulnerability is that we have been hiding our true feelings for so long that we are not very good at communicating them. Learning to express our feelings effectively can be a journey in itself, for effective communication is a skill and an art that takes time to master.

What you will also find is that those who truly care about you will accept that you are a whole person with thoughts and feelings that deserve to be expressed. For example, anger and frustration are difficult emotions to express because they can be met with great judgment by others. Learning how to communicate these things is very helpful.

The point is not to blame or punish others, but to acknowledge our own experience and remain solution-focused during these times. But if we’re not willing to be vulnerable, we often find ourselves stuck in cycles, repeating the same lessons over and over again.

And this is the magic of vulnerability. It can free us from aspects of ourselves that keep us stuck. It can help us see where we need to grow, let go, and open up to the complexity of relationships.

Spirit always advises us to be as vulnerable as possible. This helps us open up to the people and situations that are truly in resonance with us. And it pulls us out of those situations that don’t align with our highest good. It requires us to be honest with ourselves about where we need to grow, what we really want, and allows us to ensure that we are honoring our highest good and that of others.

It’s not always the most natural way to be, because our ego wants to protect us, but this is a big part of putting the ego back in its proper place. Some aspects of the ego serve us on this journey and some do not. Being more open and vulnerable is a powerful, transformative practice that spirit encourages everyone to work on.