blame
The Self-Fulfilling Fear Of A ‘Bad Luck Curse’
Some folks who consult with reputable psychics for the first time sometimes believe that the many unfortunate things that have been happening to them is due to some ‘family curse’ or ‘bad luck hex.’ While it may indeed seem like certain people and their families do have more than their fair share of ill-fated things happen to them, sometimes through several generations, this kind of superstition is usually just an overreaction to challenging life events, and too often merely an excuse to avoid personal responsibility for one’s own choices.
An famous example of a so-called family curse is the Kennedy family, who suffered a series of bizarre accidents, premature deaths, assassinations, and various other setbacks and calamities, including several ill-fated romantic relationships that all started out great, but then took a turn for the worse and ended in tragedy and disaster.
Whenever I read for a client who believes they are somehow ‘cursed,’ I always advise them that blaming a so-called ‘curse’ for the challenges and adversities in their life will never solve their problems, nor help them create a better life in the future.
Sometimes people are not ready and open to take an honest look at their own part in creating certain life events through their free will choices and decisions. When a relationship ends badly, for example, it is so much easier and convenient to simply imagine, “Oh, well I am probably cursed in the love department.” Meanwhile, the red flags for this relationship were waving high and bright since the very beginning, but they so desperately wanted a relationship that they ignored the early warning signs.
If we would only listen to our gut, and to the people who truly care about us, we will more often experience the blessing of good fortune, instead of ‘bad luck.’ Spirit always warns us early on when we are making bad life choices and heading for disaster. Some of these messages come courtesy of our intuition and inner guidance, some are revealed to us in dreams, signs, synchronicities and psychic readings, and some warnings reach us through our friends and relatives. Sadly, some people blame everything instead on ‘bad luck’ or ‘curses,’ as they would rather believe they have been cursed than take any personal responsibility by accepting they made a poor choices or decisions.
Empower Your Life With Ho’oponopono
I was introduced to the Ho’oponopono prayer several years ago by a friend I met at a meditation group. She told me that it is an ancient Hawaiian custom that can be used to resolve karmic issues in life. So, of course, I tried it, but with mixed results.
It is a simple, yet powerful three-line prayer:
I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
I did not fully comprehend it at the time, but even in my lack of understanding, I still experienced some results. Then I reached a point in life where I was experiencing a lot of personal difficulties, and suddenly this simple prayer took on a whole new meaning for me.
It was at a time when I had lost three loved ones in short space of time, and I was going through an intense grieving process and associated life challenges. I figured trying out this prayer again certainly couldn’t hurt. So, for a few days, I made a conscious effort to repeat this mantra in my mind.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Then I came across a certification program Ho’oponopono. It is a seminar over multiple days. I had the time and resources to enroll, so it felt like destiny. I then learned a lot more about Ho’oponopono and came to realize it is not nearly as simple as I had originally thought.
The term Ho’oponopono means ‘to make right what is already right.’ The prayer itself is only part of the practice. As a spiritual endeavor Ho’oponopono is about untangling the patterns and blockages that contribute to the challenges we experience in this life. The prayer itself is merely a conduit to experiencing Ho’oponopono, or ‘making right what is already right.’
The Ho’oponopono prayer is intended to move the practitioner into a state of consciousness that is love, free from things like fear, worry, resentment, blame, guilt, criticism, judgment, desire for vengeance, jealousy, and so on.
How To Be A Good Friend
I just read a blog written by a spiritual person feeling angry and lonely. She had reached out to a trusted friend, but the friend only wanted to talk about her own problems. And when she did pay some attention to her plight, the best the friend could offer was to be judgmental and unsympathetic. The author then also reached out for support on a social media group for spiritually aware people. Again, all of the members did the same thing her friend did: they judged!
The woman was having problems with her abusive neighbor and many people on the forum were giving advice for her to leave. They told her to move, find a better place to live, relocate. “Moving is 100% your choice,” one person commented. The first thing I thought was no, it isn’t. This particular woman, for example, had bought the house and had put a lot of money into renovating the house. She would need to sell, at a time when not many things are selling, and possibly suffer a significant financial loss.
Some even told her to get more exercise, so that she can relax and focus on other things. They told her she was responsible for her own choice of reactions and feelings in the situation. The only insensitive, stereotypical thing they didn’t say was to take a breath and calm down. Don’t you just hate it when someone says that? It does everything, but calm you down!
The people responding, in their judgment, needed to feel superior. It was about them, not her. Her responses were defensive, understandably. I felt by her response, they made her feel more lonely. Poor woman.
Kindness Begins With Greater Self-Care
In a world where you can be anything, be kind. And kindness starts with being kind to yourself. When we are not kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others, and others will also be unkind to us! When we are not kind to ourselves we allow that type of behavior, be it from a spouse, sibling, friend, or relative.
So, kindness really starts with us. When we are kind to ourselves, the domino effect is that we are happier, healthier and more energized. When we are not carving out time for self-care, we are not being kind to ourselves, and cannot truly be kind to others.
Sometimes people can be unkind not even realizing it. How is that? Well, by playing the part of the victim, or acting like others are responsible for their happiness or contentment. They make others feel guilty, because they are putting their problems upon others, without realizing that it is often their own self-made issues.
Everyone has free will. We are ultimately where we choose to put ourselves. In the end no one else is to blame. Period.
A vital aspect of self-kindness is to employ healthy boundaries when others make us feel bad, because they are sad and unhappy. When we take better care of ourselves and come in alignment with our soul, body and mind, we can recognize this. You are not put upon this Earth to energetically fill up the cups of others. Learn to say no, and learn to stand up for yourself when others try to take advantage of you. This is one important way of being kind to yourself.
Aligning Yourself To Attract Lasting Love
When I do readings, many people usually want to talk about their love life. This is a valid and meaningful subject for all of us. Having a meaningful, harmonious and loving relationship is a wonderful part of the human experience. However, it is also true that a relationship often does not solve many of the problems and issues we have as a single person.
It is important to understand that we carry our consciousness with us everywhere we go. If you assume that you will find a relationship that will ‘make you happy,’ then you are deeply mistaken.
Yes, we may draw temporary relational circumstances that allow us to feel a little better about ourselves, but without a firm structure of personal happiness, we will eventually engage in self-sabotaging behaviors that cause the relationship to become unsustainable.
Again, we will carry our consciousness with us everywhere that we go. If we are discontent being single, we will find a way to be discontent in the relationship also.
Every relationship is the product of co-creation. Too often when a relationship does not work out, it is easy to point to the other person and say, “You did this to me.” And it makes sense, because if the original assumption is that the other person will ‘make us happy,’ then we will also make the automatic assumption that the other person can ‘make us miserable.’
You Could Choose Peace Instead
It is the natural order for seasons to change. This is true on a macro scale in weather systems, and on a micro scale on our soul’s journey. Life is a constant ebb and flow, and it is useless to fight against the tides. Spirit often reminds us, when we are in a difficult season, that it is simply a part of the process of change and growth.
I read the Tarot, a divination system based on universal archetypes, which can be used to see the momentum of a person’s life. The Tarot consists of many archetypes that are challenging and even represent the darker aspects of the human experience. However, these experiences are not ‘bad’ or ‘wrong.’
Too often people will get a challenging message from the Tarot and they will immediately freak out. However, all of life is meant to be embraced and we all have the ability to transcend even the most challenging of obstacles.
There are two primary factors that decrease the severity of the challenges we face in life. The first is acceptance and the second is responsibility.
Becoming ‘stressed out’ over our circumstances cannot resolve the challenges we are facing. We must accept where we are and understand that we cannot change the past. We have no power over the things that led us to this moment, or to these challenges. The only thing we can do is accept the circumstances and understand that we are the only ones that have the power to make changes in our life.
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.