blame
When A Relationship Ends
When a relationship ends, no matter which partner ended it, a certain amount of healing and forgiveness is always needed. But people deal with break-ups differently and everyone handles it in their own, unique way. There is no right or wrong way. Some people seem to move on more quickly, while for others it can take months, or even years.
In truth, when a relationship ends it has usually been over for some time already. Some people take years to end a relationship, and often they have already grieved the relationship for quite some time.
It is all too easy to sit in judgment of your former partner, or place the blame solely on the other person. You may have been a really good partner in your own eyes, but what was your part in the puzzle of the relationship? One must look at all sides of the story to truly understand why the relationship did not work.
So, although a break-up is uncomfortable and painful, usually accompanied by lots of tears due to self-examination, your own part in any relationship failure must be examined for your own personal growth.
It’s hard to take a look at yourself and be brutally honest on all levels. For example, you may feel that your gave the relationship 110% percent. Well, truth be told, if you really were the only one giving your all to keep the relationship going, then you most likely also became resentful without even realizing it. Your own needs were probably not being met in the relationship. You started to lose yourself and became only the mirror of the other person.
Monitoring The Blame Game
We are in a time where the human activity of assigning blame is more public and becoming a common habit for the individual, as well as the collective. Have you noticed? Hands up if you participate in the Blame Game!
This is no judgment. What, no hand up? Is that because you don’t or is it a half-hearted admittance to participating, depending on the situation?
Whichever category above you chose to place yourself in, remember the propensity for assigning blame is natural. We may blame our boss for the unnecessary challenges at work. And we may blame the government for our household budget not making ends meet, due to too much tax. There are instances where there is a valid and specific rationale for blame. We are allowed to define why something did not go to plan, or as expected. Continue reading
Spiritual Growth In Being Wrongly Blamed
We all tend to be terribly upset when blamed for something we haven’t done, or said. I have also found myself in situations of being blamed unfairly. This made me wonder… if everything happens for a reason, as many spiritual teachings suggest, then what is the lesson here?
My conclusion is that, perhaps, we can help ourselves by acknowledging the lesson in the unpleasant situation, as well as forgiving those who knew no better, in order to let them off the hook. Seeing things in this perspective can shift us to a place where we feel we’ve learned from the experience, and that we don’t need to attract the same pattern again. Continue reading