News and Views From The Psychic Access Community

self-love

Spirit Says You Can’t Please Everyone

click for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comI have learned that people-pleasing is something that one simply cannot do. People must learn to do it for themselves. We cannot please everyone all of the time, and some people will never be satisfied anyway, no matter how much time, energy and love we offer them. They are simply not ever going to be happy, no matter what. Period.

I can think of various situations where one might feel the need to coddle and people-please those we love and care for, but in the end it will only bring us self dis-ease and stress.

For example, the child who tries to please and be there and do everything for the parent. Why is this a bad idea? Well, the parent may give up if their child tries to do everything for them. Especially if they are older and trying to find themselves and re-establish their own life, after taking care of everyone else their whole life.

Sometimes we can smother an ageing parent with kindness, by trying to do too much for them. When we do this, it makes them second guess their ability to do things for themselves. It may even cause them to worry, have anxiety, or become fearful of living.

It is good to be there for one’s elderly parents, however there is a line that can be crossed if we try and do too much and make them feel like they cannot do certain things anymore. Sure, if their driver’s license has been taken from them, for example, and they cannot see well anymore, then obviously driving them places makes sense. But, if they are still able to function normally, then let them!

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Your Inner Child

click for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comYou are never too old, too wise, or too ‘spiritually advanced’ to improve upon your relationship with your beautiful and wise inner child. I teach my students how to go inside and connect, to Self, so they can be receptive to the teachings and healings of Spirit. If no one is home, in your body, in your emotions, in your current life, then there is no one home to receive guidance from Spirit.

Your Higher Self, unlike other spiritual guides that you may have (or think you have) has only one agenda: your highest good for the evolution of your Soul. It does not represent any other groups, opinions or agendas. Your Higher Self is concerned with your life lessons. It keeps you on your path, and keeps you connected to Source.

Your Higher Self is that energetic part of you that is in constant contact with the Divine Source. It is this divine relationship to Source which functions as the central coordinator of your life’s plan – the one you created when you were Soul working with Source, the life you are currently living.

However, if you are emotionally wounded, be it from childhood abuse or neglect, or life circumstances, such as trauma, war, assault, racism, rape, extreme poverty, and so on, you will have emotional blocks and your energy pathways will be corrupted or twisted. You will be unable to be in a deep, loving and respectful relationship with Self. Your Higher Self’s connection to Source is then corrupted and weakened, like hearing static on your phone line.

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Restoring My Energy Balance In A New Way

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comRecently, a major storm caused some damage to our home. This required us to have contractors invade our normally very peaceful, secluded home. The repairs were such that it required the workers to have access to both the exterior and interior of our home.

Although we were both grateful for the fact that we have great home owners insurance, and that all the repairs were going to be completed with minimal expense on our part, we also were faced with the reality that our life as we knew it was going to be temporarily disrupted.

We had numerous people in and out of our home. Activity was everywhere in the house, and although our home is large there was not one room that did not require some kind of repair. This meant I had no private space to myself anymore. I had nowhere to escape to and clear my energy.

Reminding myself that it was only temporary, and that I could handle the lack of privacy I had become so accustomed to, I tried to adapt. I started doing my mediation early in the morning, before the workers arrived, and I routinely smudged the entire home with sage. I also started spending less time at home, as to not be in anyone’s way.

All the while I tried to convince myself that I was fine. I was also doing the energy work I needed to do to ensure none of the energy that was brought into my home by so many strangers would leave an imprint or attach itself to me. But about a month into this three month ordeal, I found myself getting very depressed. Continue reading

The Universe Provides The Help We Need

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comRecently, a very dear friend discovered that her partner, who she had been living with for the past three years, was secretly battling an addiction to narcotics. She discovered this in a very hurtful way.

They were getting ready to go out for the evening and she was looking for a specific item of jewelry. When she could not find what she was looking for, she asked him if he had seen it anywhere. He tried to downplay the situation and persuaded her to pick another piece of jewelry to wear. He was sure it would soon turn up.

But my friend was on a mission. That piece of jewelry was her grandmother’s. She would have never misplaced it. After more searching, she eventually discovered that almost all of her jewelry was missing! Thinking they had been robbed by a visitor, she was naturally upset. For weeks my friend was obsessing over what had happened to her jewelry.

Finally she asked for help from her guides, that the truth be shown to her, and sure enough about a month after the first discovery of missing items, she was sorting laundry and checking pockets when, to her surprise, in one of her partner’s pockets she found her grandmother’s diamond earrings!

Shocked, she began to question him about why her earrings were in his pocket. Did he find them somewhere and put them in his pocket, then forgot about them? She was sure there had to be a legitimate reason for this discovery. After all, this is the man who she has lived with, loved, and trusted, for several years. The thought of him actually being the thief never came to mind. Continue reading

Learning To Love Yourself

click for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comSadly, my inner-critic began speaking to me at a relatively young age and continued to do so well into my 20s and beyond.  Personally, I feel this played a large part in me losing my job at the age of 24, during the 1980s recession. It was a time in which work was so hard to find, and when I finally did, even more negative self-talk began to have an effect on my life.

With no job and no money, I felt worthless, stupid, disliked, and that I had no potential whatsoever. Most fortunately, however, I proved myself to be wrong and later found, from experience, that the way to a happier, more confident and fulfilled life was by learning to slay that inner critic and start loving myself. Furthermore, you can too! Here’s how.

Firstly, remember that you do have a choice. Which one will you listen to: your inner critic or your inner guide? I remember the time when I told my family I was going to start working in the spiritual field. Yes, they laughed and said to me that it would never work out for me, and I that I could not do it.

Sadly, this boosted my inner critic once again, but at this particular time in my life, circumstances and the need for a more fulfilling job made me look at things from a different perspective.

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Self-Care Is Not Selfish

click for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comEmpaths are givers first and foremost. Loyal, sometimes to a fault, and fiercely protective of those they care about… moving at lightning speed whenever called upon.

So, when I say to an empath that it may be time to put themselves first, the response is often mixed. But, if putting yourself first seems too selfish or too difficult, try something simpler: at least put yourself on an equal footing with those you love and care for.

For many sensitive and highly intuitive people, self-care must be an acquired behavior… and it’s a big one. Empaths intend to be selfless, to help, heal and facilitate those they care about. Wonderful! But remember, if this is your goal, then begin with yourself. The stronger, healthier and happier you are then the more effective, nurturing and supportive you can be to those around you.

Putting yourself first doesn’t mean that you are doing only what you want to do all the time, and it doesn’t mean that you are suddenly going to ignore those you care about. What it does mean is making it a priority to take care of your own physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs. This can be a tall order and quite the task for some empaths. Don’t wait until you are in a meltdown… frustrated  and snapping at everything and everyone around you, with little or no provocation.

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Apologies From The Other Side

click here for a free psychic reading at PsychicAccess.comDeparted loved ones have come through to me many times over the years with a message of apology for how they treated me, or one of my clients. There is typically a common thread in these spirit messages: they didn’t know better at the time, but they do now, and they now see things differently. With the apology usually also comes great regret and remorse, acknowledging the pain they caused us.

For anyone who has been on the receiving end of abuse, I have come to believe that there is also a lesson in this. For me, the lesson has been learning to love myself. I was a people-pleaser for most of my life, and to some extent this is probably still the case, but there is a lesson in this too, in learning about self-love and learning to put my own needs first. My experience has been instrumental in enabling me to identify with others, and, in turn, I have become more able to help others the best I can.

I love the teachings of the spirit guide Emmanuel, as channeled by the late Pat Rhodegast. Emmanuel says, “If we were not meant to have done something, we would not have, but that it was all appropriate at the time.” I seem to recall his teachings stating that this does not mean that we should condone the harsh treatment of others.

As adults, we have more choices, but when family and loved ones treat us harshly, we often hope that things would get better, or that perhaps they were just having a bad day. I personally would do just about anything to please them, desperate to get their approval. Others often commented on and in hindsight they were right, but I would continue to hope.

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