Forgiveness Is Choosing To Take Back Your Power

Ah, forgiveness! Such a misunderstood concept. For many people, forgiveness, as noble as it may sound, is very difficult, even impossible.

Sometimes certain wrongs are so grave to us that the offender doesn’t deserve forgiveness in our eyes. There is also a misconception that forgiving someone is tantamount to excusing or justifying their terrible actions. But forgiveness is not about absolving someone of responsibility. Instead, it is a powerful, personal act of release and healing.

When we forgive someone, whether they’ve hurt us emotionally, betrayed our trust, or even caused us physical harm, we’re not letting them off the hook.

We are not condoning their actions or giving them permission to repeat those offenses. Rather, we are choosing to free ourselves from the weight of resentment, pain, and bitterness that binds us to them and their past actions.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. It allows us to move forward without the burden of past grievances and with an open heart, free of resentment.

By forgiving, we determine for ourselves that the transgressor’s actions and the memory of their misdeeds will no longer hold us hostage or march with us into the future.

While we may not be responsible for what happened to us in the past, we are responsible for how we choose to carry the memory of it into the future. This is the power of forgiveness: it gives us the strength to embrace our present reality with clarity, compassion, and freedom. It also transforms our future, for it is ultimately a karmic choice that will shape our destiny in ways we will only understand much later in this life and beyond.

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free ~ Catherine Ponder

The Empowering Benefits Of Forgiveness

The act of forgiveness liberates the heart, mind, and soul. When we forgive, we allow ourselves to feel hope and strength again, we take back our power to no longer be burdened by anger, guilt, regret or self-pity. Forgiveness brings us peace of mind by ending the repetitive cycle of “why me” or “what if” scenarios that keep us tied to the hurtful experience.

Reliving a painful event from the past only serves to breed more negative thoughts and emotions within us, creating resentments that can take deep root over time. As the saying goes, “Hindsight is 20/20,” but replaying scenarios in an effort to rewrite history only builds a stronger hold for the soul poison of bitterness. This ingrained negativity becomes malignant over time, growing like a cancer to stifle our spiritual growth and destroy our mental, emotional and even physical well-being.

Life is too short to cling to resentment or remain fixated on blame, not to mention the long-term karmic consequences of revenge and hatred. By recognizing the value of forgiveness, we empower ourselves to move forward. By choosing to forgive, we give ourselves permission to move in a positive direction without the heavy chains of the past.

Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future ~ Louis B. Smedes

Guidelines For Cultivating Forgiveness

In my psychic mediumship practice, I find that clients who struggle with forgiveness often have the desire to forgive but do not know how to go about it. Here are some guidelines for cultivating and embracing forgiveness so that it becomes an integral part of your personal and spiritual growth.

Acknowledge how you feel. Begin by acknowledging the impact of what has happened and how you feel about it. Identify your feelings: anger, betrayal, sadness, disappointment. Acknowledge how they have affected you. Don’t avoid or suppress these feelings; allow yourself to truly feel them as part of the healing process.

Focus on the benefits. Consider how forgiveness benefits you personally and spiritually. Remember that forgiveness is about freeing yourself, not the other person. When you let go of resentment, you create space in your life for peace, joy, and new possibilities.

Separate the person from the deed. It’s often very helpful to separate the person from their wrongdoing. People are usually more than their mistakes, just as you are. Although this can be difficult, try to see the person beyond the hurt they have caused you. This can help reduce resentment and make forgiveness feel more attainable.

Practice compassion and empathy. Try to understand the circumstances that may have led to the other person’s hurtful actions. This does not excuse their behavior, but it does foster a sense of empathy that can help you approach forgiveness with an open heart.

Forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness is often key to forgiving others. Before we can extend forgiveness to others, we must often forgive ourselves first for any feelings of guilt, shame, or perceived weakness. Self-compassion is essential to personal growth and healing. It lays the foundation for a compassionate and forgiving attitude toward others. Self-compassion empowers us to take responsibility for our actions rather than being controlled by the actions of others. It also frees us from lingering resentment and gives us the space to grow, evolve, and pursue our best selves.

Choose to let it go. Resentment can have a tight grip on the mind and heart, but holding on to it is a choice. So make a conscious decision to let it go. Once you have the courage to simply let it go, it is much more empowering and liberating than you might expect.

Make it a spiritual practice. Incorporate the forgiveness process into your daily spiritual routine. Focus on it in meditation or prayer. Visualize letting go of resentment, bitterness, or anger and inviting feelings of peace, understanding, and calm into your life. Set intentions for what forgiveness would look and feel like for you. Imagine yourself feeling lighter, more at ease, and less burdened by the past. Visualizing a future free of resentment can motivate you to truly let go of the hurt.

Express yourself. Expressing your thoughts and feelings about what happened through writing, art, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist can be invaluable. These outlets allow you to process emotions constructively, making it easier to release anger and resentment. Sharing your journey also helps you feel supported and less alone.

Set boundaries. Forgiving someone does not mean welcoming them back into your life without boundaries. If the relationship requires continued interaction, set healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Boundaries create safe spaces for personal and interpersonal healing. By the way, you don’t have to be in the presence of the person you’re forgiving; they don’t even have to know about it. Forgiveness is a deeply personal journey that comes from your own heart. When you forgive, you are not letting someone else off the hook; you are choosing freedom from anger and resentment and reclaiming your own peace.

Forgiveness is not always a one-time event. It’s more often a journey that may involve revisiting and processing the hurt at various stages. Give yourself grace and patience as you travel this path, recognizing that forgiveness is a gradual unfolding rather than a quick fix.

Ultimately, forgiveness allows us to close the chapter on past hurts and focus on the possibilities of the present moment. It’s a choice that aligns us with a future driven not by pain, but by peace, resilience, and emotional freedom. Each step brings us closer to a life that celebrates healing and empowers us to reach our full potential, unencumbered by the weight of the past.

Forgiveness is a transformative act of love and liberation – for ourselves and, indirectly, for those we forgive. It is the ultimate act of self-empowerment.