Grief Is A Sacred Gift Of Soul Experience

Long ago, I yearned for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life. And the door opened. It led me within.

Now, I long for a deep wound to be healed, and again I feel the door opening. I am prepared for the changes that come each time the door opens, and welcome them with profound gratitude.

I’ve come to understand that these “doors” don’t always show up looking bright and shiny and obviously spiritual. Sometimes they arrive disguised as heartbreak, loss, and the kind of grief that knocks the breath right out of your body. It doesn’t feel like a doorway then. It feels like a wall. A dead end. A great, echoing “Why?”

Last year had been a particularly difficult time for me. So much grief! Layers of it. Old grief that I thought I had already handled. New grief that came out of nowhere. Grief that didn’t even seem to have a clear name or story attached to it. I just had waves of sadness and loneliness that would rise up and spill over when I least expected it.

All part of the process, of course. But when you’re actually in it, that is not always comforting. I remember wondering, sometimes out loud:

When will I get back into the universal flow again?
When will the spiritual things I need for my Journey manifest?
When will this heaviness lift?

I wasn’t asking in a demanding way, more like a child pressing her face against the window, looking out at life, feeling like everyone else was moving forward while I was sitting in slow motion. My faith never left, but it got very, very quiet.

And then, as Life tends to do, it surprised me.

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve ~ Earl Grollman

Suddenly, “voila”! Sheer magic arrived in the form of three different humans from totally different walks of life who resonated with me so perfectly that I’m totally grateful for the grief. These were not people I had planned on meeting, not people I went out seeking. They showed up organically, in that mysterious way the universe has of sliding exactly what you need right under your nose when you’re sure you’ve been forgotten.

Each of these souls carried a different piece of medicine for me. One brought laughter back into my world when everything felt too serious. One listened to my story without trying to fix me, correct me, or tell me how I “should” feel by now. The third one reflected my own strength back to me at a time when I felt fragile and worn down.

Now I can see the perfection in the stunning beauty of the sum of it. Not just their arrival, but the timing of it all. If the grief had not carved such a deep hollow in my heart, I might not have had the space to receive them. If I had been busy “doing fine,” I might have missed the subtle miracle of their presence.

So, what’s new and right? Everything! Never lose faith.

That doesn’t mean everything is easy, or that we have to pretend to be “high vibe” all the time. It simply means that underneath the chaos, there is still a deeper order at work. Even when we feel disconnected, we are still held.

We create neurological pathways in our mind. As a result, the more often we use a pathway, the more easily it is accessible. If the pathway being created is of a high vibrational frequency, the more easily we ascend. Moment by moment, like a baby learning to take baby steps, we create our ascension pathway.

For me, grief has been part of that pathway. Not a mistake. Not a detour. It has changed the way my mind and heart move together. Every time I chose not to numb out, not to run away, but to sit quietly with my tears and breathe, I was reinforcing a new pathway:

“I can feel this and still be safe.”
“I can hurt and still be loved.”
“I can be in pieces and still be on my Journey.”

This is real ascension work too. True spiritual awakening is not just beautiful meditations and angel numbers, but also the raw, human moments when your heart feels cracked open and you stay with yourself anyway.

You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to ~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

One of the most heart-touching events are those people who arrive during a difficult moment without knowing it’s perfect timing. They bring a good ear, love, smile and comfort. I am thankful to them and thankful also that the Creator sends comfort in many ways. Sometimes it’s a phone call. Sometimes it’s a song on the radio. Sometimes it’s a stranger’s kindness in a grocery store. These are all little notes from the universe: “I see you. Keep going.”

Grief has also taught me that I don’t have to do it the way anyone else does. Some people cry openly. Some people get very quiet. Some need to talk and talk and talk. Some process in dreams. Some create art. Some sit in nature. Some feel nothing at all for a long time, and then suddenly it all pours out.

All of this is normal.

Regardless of how it happened or whatever “it” is, the important part to understand is that it is part of your Journey. It is a gift of experience to learn from, no matter how much it may have stung you, or how deeply you grieved. You are not “behind” or “failing” at healing because your process doesn’t match someone else’s idea of how you “should” be handling it.

Grief is very personal, very private, and very sacred. It is your heart speaking its own language with the Creator. No one else gets to translate that for you.

Go for it, one step at a time. It is truly loving and lovely, not to mention life-changing, as we begin to see the universe in a new and profoundly different way. Over time, I’ve noticed that the more I allow my own true process, by not forcing it, not rushing it, the more gently life and spirit holds me.

I still long for healing, but it’s a softer kind of longing now. Less of a demand and more of an openness:

“Show me the next door when it’s time.”
“I am willing to walk through, even if I’m trembling.”
“I trust that what leaves and what arrives are both part of my becoming.”

Guidelines For Navigating Grief

Below are a few essential guidelines for walking through grief (if they resonate with you):

I don’t believe there is one “right” way to grieve. There is only your way. Still, I’ll share a few things that have helped me, in case any of them feel true in your own heart. Take what resonates, leave the rest. This is your Journey.

Honor your own timing. There is no spiritual stopwatch or deadline. Healing doesn’t follow a straight line. If you still feel sad “after all this time,” that’s okay. Time isn’t the healer. Presence is the true healer. Let it take as long as it takes.

Let your body speak. Sometimes grief shows up as tight shoulders, a heavy chest, or exhaustion. Instead of fighting your body, try placing a gentle hand on the place that hurts and breathing there. Your body is part of your soul’s Journey too.

Allow your feelings to be exactly what they are. Not what you think they should be. Not what others say is appropriate. Anger, numbness, relief, confusion, sorrow, gratitude can all exist together. Nothing is “unspiritual” about feeling deeply human.

Be discerning with other people’s advice. People may mean well when they tell you how you should grieve, how long it should take, or what you ought to be doing by now. You don’t have to take any of that on. Smile if you wish, thank them if you can, and quietly choose your own way.

Notice who brings comfort to you. Some people will show up like warm blankets on a cold night: they listen, they don’t judge, they don’t rush you. Others might unintentionally make you feel smaller. Spend more time with those who expand your heart, even just a little.

Celebrate the helpers when they arrive. When those magical humans show up with a kind word, a hug, or a listening ear, let yourself receive it. Let their presence be evidence that you are seen, that your journey matters, and that the universe is still conspiring for your good.

Create tiny rituals of comfort. A candle you light when you’re missing someone. A cup of tea you drink slowly, just breathing. A walk in nature where you let the trees listen. These little practices build those high-vibrational pathways in the brain and in the heart.

Remember that you are never “too broken.” Even in the deepest grief, there is a part of you that remains whole, wise, aware, and connected. You may not always feel it, but it is there, watching over you, walking with you through every dark hallway toward the next open door.

If you are in grief right now, please know this: you are not doing it wrong. You are not behind. You are not a hot mess. You are in a powerful, sacred, human chapter of your Journey.

Trust your process. Trust your inner guidance. Trust the quiet voice within more than the loud opinions outside. Trust that when the next door opens (and it will) you will be ready to step through, changed in ways that are more loving, more awake, and more aligned with the beautiful being you already are.