suffering
The What-ifs That Go Bump In The Night
When I grow up, I want to be a lightworker! Okay, so I’ve grown up and I’ve been a psychic and healer for many years. The question now is, how do I take back, or erase from my mind’s eye all that I’ve seen? ‘Wounded healer, heal thyself’ is a very old truth, which still holds merit after many years of being bandied about.
Perhaps today it is more true than ever. In today’s world we are dealing with much more fear and what-ifs than ever before in our lifetime. Someone, or something, somewhere – the news media for one – is always preying on our fears. Panic and perpetual fear is the name of the game for many in our world these days.
Psychics, astrologers, mediums, diviners, and energy healers, among other, are known by the universal term ‘lightworkers.’ This is ironic, considering we often have to delve into the darkest fears of most people head-first, in order to help our fellow humans come to some form of clarity, healing or conclusion.
And what happens when the lightworker’s battery begins to fade from overuse and not enough recharging? Can helping other people face their fears make our own fears and limiting beliefs become larger by proxy, thus causing our own light to dim?
Lightworkers are born healers and teachers. At our core we want to help everyone. We know that inner peace comes from within. However, some of our clients are open to guidance, while others are not. Maybe I only speak for myself as a healer, but those who refuse guidance often haunt me far longer than those who embrace it. They are the ones who keep me up at night. They are the ones who make me doubt and question what I know in my heart to be true, based on my ability to listen to a Higher Power and relay messages spirit wants to share.
Face your fears, I tell myself. Even as a wounded healer, I must continue to face my self-doubt and remember to look upon the bright side: the countless souls whose lives I have been blessed to change and help make into something brighter, better and more fulfilling.
Embracing The Shadow
When I first began to intentionally and consciously walk a spiritual path, I remember doing so because it just felt so right. Every step I took toward ‘enlightenment’ in this lifetime seemed to bring more brightness into my life, and so many more blessings.
In those early days I was really rolling! I was expecting this to be an easy ride – all joy and light and love. It was wonderful.
What I hadn’t expected was the inevitable emergence of my shadow through as a result of all my spiritual work. And it was not something I was going to be comfortable with – admitting I had places of darkness within me, unloved aspects of myself, disowned pieces of my soul which had been abandoned and in such pain.
Through a series of, what seemed like, unfortunate events, I was given opportunities to face my shadow side. Challenges in relationships with friends and loved ones arose. I couldn’t understand it at first, and felt very alone and misunderstood. I was shifting the blame for this onto the people around me, instead of going inward.
Going inward, into the light, was totally okay, but going inward into the darkness was terrifying. My ego-self raised every defense to keep me from going there. Eventually, I could avoid it no longer.
My life at this point had endured tremendous change in the course of only a few years- so much so, that the entire landscape of my existence and the people in it were now different. While many of the changes were positive, the magnitude of the differences between my ‘old life’ and my ‘new life’ forced me into robust self-reflection.
Where did I want to go with my life? What did I want to do? And who was I going to be? I must admit, these were heavy questions, and I absolutely felt the weight of them. In addition, I was healing from a personal loss, and that was taking more time than I wanted it to.
My ‘aha moment’ came when I was lamenting one day about my relationship with my partner. I had identified that I wanted a deeper level of connection, but felt that he was unwilling to meet me there.
The Power Of The Human Spirit
My maternal grandparents were very significant people in my life. We called them Mama and Papa, and we were extremely attached to them, and loved them dearly. They taught me important life lessons about love, loyalty, courage, and the resilient power of the human spirit.
They were married very young, which was not uncommon in those days, and went on to produce large family of 15 children. My grandfather worked on the docks in the small town where we grew up, and made very good money doing it.
Their lifestyle should have been more comfortable than it was, since his income was quite substantial for that time. But it was not, and this was not due to them having so many children either. The real reason was that he was an alcoholic and a gambler, so there were many times when the family did not fare so well financially, for obvious reasons.
This was not something we realized as children, and if we were told we would probably not have given it any credibility. We simply worshiped our grandparents too much to believe such a thing!
My own parents were quite poor, so when Papa gave us a nickle or a dime, and sometimes even a quarter, he certainly seemed a hero to us. It was not just the money. Papa gave us the most profound love and attention that poor, neglected children crave and we reciprocated in kind. We absolutely adored him.
Although Papa was in truth not always conscious of the daily needs of his family, it was still abundantly clear he cared for all of us with a strength that is not always understood, especially when it came to our grandmother. One could not only see, but also feel his intense love for her.
They had mostly lived in very humble homes during the many years they were married, and while we are now certain Mama must have found it trying at the best of times, she was never heard to utter a complaining word. Such was her loyal devotion to her life partner.
My Childhood Psychic Awakening
Being gifted from an early age, I had lots of questions, and wanted specific, detailed answers about psychic phenomena, spirituality and the paranormal. This later became my norm to everything, and the world around me. The why’s and how’s continue to fascinate me in every aspect of my life.
My spirit guides have been very helpful over the years, as I found that humans can seldom answer my questions clearly, nor adequately. Over the years, my guides provided me with the stepping stones for my personal psychic development.
My guides assured me early on that they would never give me more than I could handle. They also made it clear that the truth of anything can always be confirmed by simply asking. I believed them, and each time I had an unusual sense or feeling, I asked for confirmation. I still do.
My first paranormal encounters and psychic experiences were with the animals. Their energy and communication is easier to understand, just like my guides, and they always communicate with unconditional love. This also led to a special bond with nature, and especially the trees. Soon after came the wind, and the water, their sounds so soothing and calm. As a child, I always experienced a deep, tranquil feeling of well-being, serenity and inner peace whenever I was outside in nature. I still do.
My next extra-sensory experiences were of premonitions and forebodings concerning the safety and well-being of others. At such a young age these presentiments were tricky to relay to adults. I would sense that someone was in danger, or shouldn’t go on a trip, or should not engage with a certain person who had dark energy around them. These apprehensions seemed to constantly haunt me. How do you share such warnings with grownups who will not listen, or take your seriously?
The Key To A Lasting Relationship Is Inner Peace
One of the most consistent issues that often come up in relationship readings is what I call the ‘peace vibe.’ And this kind of inner peace is associated with our capacity to trust in an abundant universe. Most of my clients believe there is a divine power greater than us, but trusting that this power can help us create a positive momentum in our lives is another story entirely!
It is said that Albert Einstein once remarked that the most important decision we have to make in this life is whether we believe in a friendly, or hostile universe. This is the foundational question when talking about whether we are in the ‘vibe of peace,’ or not. If someone is constantly waiting for the proverbial ‘shoe to drop,’ they are likely not living in peace.
You see, our point of attraction is determined by our vibes (energy vibration), which is why inner peace is such an important concept in manifesting a lasting, successful relationship. Trust is the key foundation for all relationships. Sure, all relationships also pose an element of risk, but a hyper-focus on the risk will only create a mental and emotional environment that does not facilitate a happy and healthy relationship. In fact, with my experience of doing love and relationship readings for the past 20 years, I would go as far as to say that without trust there really is no relationship.
So, how does this work? Well, have you ever noticed that highly critical people will always find something or someone to judge or criticize? There is never a lack of reasons for criticism from disapproving or disparaging people. The same is also true when there is a lack of inner peace. Chaos naturally follows chaotic people, while people who choose serenity and joy experience more serenity and joy in their lives.
Let It Go Like The Leaves Of Fall
Sitting at my living room’s huge picture window this morning, I saw the trees blowing in the wind outside and the colorful leaves that are slowly turning, before they will finally let go of those branches that they were a part of for so long.
The turn of the season is in full swing outside my window and the morning rain has passed. It is a typical fall day here. You really truly never know what you’re going to get with our weather. People often say the weather here is bipolar! We tend to get all the seasons in one day – summer, fall and sometimes even winter, all in one day!
Earlier it was raining outside – a great time for me to sit quietly and indulge in some deep mediation and chakra balancing. I do this to raise my vibration for the day ahead, which will include the channeling of messages for my clients, courtesy of their spirit guides, ancestors and dearly departed loved ones.
After calibrating my energy centers. I invited my main guide to share with me some general spiritual guidance that may benefit all of my clients today. Is there anything that I need to share with them at this time?
I closed my eyes and went in deep. My guide told me to help heal those who need it at the core level in these difficult times. I am to help them to let go of feelings that they have struggled with since childhood, and to replace it with healing light and invite in new, higher vibrations.
Keeping pent-up emotions is causing much dis-ease these days, and it has been hindering many people who will be approaching me today for help, spirit said. I need to plant seeds of healing in their minds and teach them that they have the power to do it too!
Will The Aliens Come And Rescue Us?
I don’t know if is due to the havoc that has been happening on our planet in recent months, but lately I have consistently been having an unusual, recurring thought. I have been wondering whether the aliens might be willing to come and rescue us? Unfortunately, my next instinct is usually, I doubt they will!
If we had the opportunity to express our fears and worries to highly-evolved extraterrestrial beings, and ask for their help, how would they respond?
Let’s say we tell them how terrified or confused we have been of this insidious new virus that has been spreading all over our world. Or maybe we would whine and fret over the changing climate, extreme weather patterns, pollution, the plight of the animals, or environmental decline. Or we might lament the many socio-economic hardships, cultural difficulties, psychological suffering and physical pain many of us face in our daily lives.
My guess is the aliens would immediately question our fears, and remind us that it only creates panic and paralysis. Fear does not heal, or solve problems. The aliens will also explain to us that while we are here in this particular plane of physical existence, there is great value in learning to creatively cope with all the trials and tribulations that are thrown our way.
Even though life’s setbacks may appear to be frightening and insurmountable at times, each time we accept the challenge, it will enhance our personal growth and spiritual expansion. We become stronger and wiser as spiritual beings, and with the conquering of every passing fear and obstacle, we become more adept at understanding the true purpose and meaning of life and our place in the Universe.